Leadership Journal reported in 2004 that about four in ten pastors (38 percent) left a pastoral position due in part to conflict. On the positive side, the Christianity Today publication found that while 95 percent of pastors reported having experienced conflict – and 20 percent enduring conflict at the moment – “almost all of the pastors polled reported some positive outcomes."
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Kenneth Newberger, who had experienced painful conflict in his second pastoral ministry in the late 90s after more than five years, is now an expert on church conflict. President of Resolve Church Conflict, he mediates conflicts using sound biblical theol
Ken Newberger, Ph.D.c., Th.M., is a contributing editor for The Church Report and a member of the Association of Conflict Resolution. His weekly column, “Conflict? Ask Ken,” for Monday Morning Insight reaches church leaders across the country.
Since 2000, Dr. Newberger has worked as a conflict resolution specialist in numerous settings (church, business, family), coached hundreds, developed and implemented a conflict management system, conducted workshops, seminars, and classes, and spoke as a keynote speaker. As president of Resolve Church Conflict, he mediates church disputes.
In a recent interview with the Christian Post, Dr. Newberger explained why and how conflicts arise within the church and the way in which those conflicts can be resolved through a third-party mediator.
What made you decide to go into the ministry of mediating church conflicts?
My life took an unexpected turn when I experienced painful conflict in my second pastoral ministry in the late 90's. After more than five years in that church, conflict erupted. The denominational person responsible for my geographical area was busy with other matters so he asked a pastor in the region to help out in our situation. I, and a group of my supporters, met with this individual at the very beginning of his involvement. Weeks then went by without a word. My wife asked several times, “Why aren't we hearing anything?” I told her not to worry.
Finally, I received a brief informational call from the mediator. Shortly thereafter a “mediation report” was issued. The matter was officially over and so were my days at that church.
We were flabbergasted by a process which, among other things, never brought the disputing sides together even once! When the dust settled, I realized that there had to be a better way. The more I researched, the more I realized that the church desperately needed help in this area.
When you were forced out of pastoral ministry, what was the conflict about?
I had a problem with a member of the church who was antagonistic to my ministry. When things didn’t work out the way he wanted in a particular situation, I believe that he went to work behind the scenes and helped turned others against me.
As in other cases I with which I have become familiar, people who make charges against others rarely look at themselves as being part of the overall problem. By focusing only on the “other” individual, their own contributions to the problem are ignored.
Over the years, I have come to see this is as a repeating pattern in many congregational settings. When the issue becomes the person, everything becomes black and white. “You must leave or we will leave.” Otherwise legitimate concerns and resolvable issues become secondary.
There are, of course, situations where a parting of the ways may be the best course for the work of ministry. Such was the case between the apostle Paul and Barnabas in Acts 15:36-41. But far too often, as in my own experience, instead of finding a solution that strengthens the ministry of the church, one that causes division within the congregation, resulting in many people leaving, occurs instead. Continue >>
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