The nation is abuzz about a young Southwest Florida church's "30-Day Sex Challenge" that encourages married couples to have sex for one month straight and singles to abstain for that length of time.
-
(Photo: Relevant Church)The worship band at Relevant Church sings praises at the launch of the '30-Day Sex Challenge.'
"It's all about intimacy," said Pastor Paul Wirth of Relevant Church in Ybor City to Fox News. "Life gets in the way ... and we neglect each other. We believe that the Bible tells us that God is the author of love and teaches us how to love correctly. And when we do it His way, He will teach us how to love our spouses unconditionally and meet those emotional needs so that in return, they want to be intimate with us in a sexual way."
Wirth, who is taking the challenge with his wife, Susie, issued the 30-day sex challenge to churchgoers on Sunday during a relationship sermon series.
Although Relevant is just a 3-year-old church, Wirth says the challenge has drawn worldwide attention, most notably from the media, because churches have remained silent on the subject of sex for far too long.
"God is the one who talks about love and authors love, and He knows that He wants us to be intimate and connected with each other on a daily basis," the head pastor told CBS News.
But it isn't only about connecting on a physical basis.
The "teaser," Wirth says, is couples have to begin meeting each other's emotional and spiritual needs. Participants fill out an emotional needs questionnaire that allows their marriage partners to see what's lacking and figure out how to fulfill those needs.
"It's much more than the physical aspect," said Doug Webber, a Relevant churchgoer taking the challenge with his wife, Lorena. "So, it's really helping us refocus on our marriage."
And as couples communicate better and meet emotional needs, Webber says couples are then going to have a great physical relationship.
For the single adults at Relevant Church, the challenge is abstinence for 30 days.
In a culture where sexual activity has become a norm and is considered casual activity, one Relevant churchgoer says, "Our challenge is that us single adults would take 30 days to consider God’s way and remove sex from the equation to focus on who we are, who we are becoming and what is truly defining our relationships," Jason wrote on the church blog.
Days into the challenge, another single named Jarrett realized that "how far is too far?" is the wrong way to think relationships.
"Instead of trying to see what we can 'get' or how far we can go, I think it’s time we start honoring each other," Jarrett wrote on the blog. "I admit, I don’t know exactly what that looks like, but I’m ok with that."
Pastor Wirth says the challenge for singles is to take sex, which often takes precedence in relationships, off the table and to first connect spiritually and emotionally.
The challenge has drawn some criticism from religious groups, but Wirth believes they were misguided by the media.
Although the challenge is just a month long, Wirth says those 30 days "will lead to a lifetime."
RSS
I salute the pastor and see absolutely nothing wrong with the challenge, especially what the real focus of the story is - growing closer to your spouse. In today’s churches sex is dirty, ugly, forbidden, only to be done to have children, and I could go on and on. It is refreshing to see a pastor standup and take a stand about sex in marriage. People see sex as a chore or even worse a tool to punish somebody with. The question everybody should ask is when the kids grow up and move away what will hold you and your spouse together? Also what is the only thing different from marriage and dating? The answer is sex. Men state lack of sex as one of the main causes for divorce. Everbody sex in marriage is not an option it is manditory see 1 Cor. 7 if you don't know why.
ifeelfine,
"Scripture is also very clear that divorce and remarriage is a form of adultery. "
Ok...? Where are you going to go with this?
And yeah, this guy should have said, "Singles, abstain from sex until you are married"
teddyrux: Scripture is also very clear that divorce and remarriage is a form of adultery.
jstanley
"Can some one please show me one thing this pastor says that is not scriptural?"
How about the part where he asks single people to not have sex for 30 days. That is not what Scripture says. Scripture is very clear on this. Sex outside of marriage is a sin. That's what he needs to preach.
I have a challenge for you. See if you can beat this! I have never had a sexual relationship outside of my 21 year marriage. I have been divorced for almost 12 years and have not dated anyone since then. I have prayed that God would keep all women away from me except for the one that He would have for me to be my wife. I have promised to wait for one girl as long as it takes for her to become ready to spend her life with me. I am hoping it will come to pass soon as I am very lonely, but God can see me through this time of preparation. I believe He wants me to learn to trust Him. Every time I have waited for something He has come through with more than I asked for. God bless you all! Jesus is faithful and true to those who love Him!
yeah, i need a pastor to know about my sex life. doesn't he have one of his own?
the married part, i agree, is unusual
So for the married couples is this to be daily? weekly? For singles this should not even be a question. It is commanded in Scripture that sex outside of marriage is sin.
I am wondering what the specific problem that was percieved which prompted this "challenge."
Sex is an awesome gift from God and needs to be promoted within marriage more often in the church - This church is right on point with scripture!! But i see from some of the messages there are a number of very angry sexually frustrated Christians out there. Can some one please show me one thing this pastor says that is not scriptural? Has anyone read song of Solomon?
Isn't the worship of sexuality a pagan, rather than a christian, thing?
I have a real challenge for this pastor. How about keeping his mouth shut for 30 days so that Christ is not blasphemed and mocked? The growing sensuality in our evangelical churches is a result of a growing man-centeredness. Where man is King, there is sensuality as we see with these various sex sermon campaigns nationwide. Where Christ is King and given the honor and worship that is due Him, there is godly reverence and a desire for holiness. These pastors have taken a holy subject and treated it profanely. The promotional ad for this sex series in itself is offensive, if anyone has seen it. But because so many evangelicals have had their heads in Hollywood's toilet for so long, not even the woman's harlot-style outfit in the photo offends anyone anymore. Consciences are seared with a hot iron. My advice is to get out of these man-centered churches. Run. Ask the Lord to direct you to a church where Jesus Christ is lifted up and not treated as a means to a better sex life. God help us.
Singles to abstain from sex for 30 days?
Good start, but man ... this just shows the condition of the present-day church. Where has our sanctity gone? Our reverence for God's word?
being married for this wouldve been a life changing experience for me on this matter.
but being single has its bonuses too, i get to spend my time focusing on my artistic ambitions at such a fevered pace i got no time to think about the world!
Truthfulwitness
A great number of people are dying and going to hell because their lives are being guided by the kind of garbage this challenge is trying to correct.
While people are dying and going to hell, this so called church is wasting time with this garbage.
No problem. We are newly weds.
I sincerely hope that for the Singles, only a minority would be troubled by abstaining from sex for 30 days. This isn't exactly a new teaching - abstinence before marriage.
This follows perfectly in the footsteps of James Dobson.
The different focus between married couples and singles is good biblical teaching.
God bless this effort.