Popular Bible Stories Re-Written, Include Alcoholic Goliath

Some of the most popular stories in the Bible were recently re-written by a British Anglican vicar, including the story of Goliath, who in the retelling is a celebrity binge drinker.

The Rev. Robert Harrison of St. John’s Church in northwest London is behind the reworking of the top 10 Bible stories that were chosen by a poll conducted by the Christian charity Scripture Union.

In Harrison’s book, The Must Know Stories, the tale of David and Goliath is retold from the perspective of Goliath, who is portrayed as a “depressed alcoholic” who is hung over on the day of battle with David, according to the U.K.-based Telegraph newspaper.

Meanwhile, the well-known story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden is twisted so that Adam expresses his obsession with Eve’s naked body. The nativity story is also changed so as to have Jesus born in an overcrowded house instead of a manger, amid family tension stirred by Joseph’s aunt who is upset that Mary and Joseph are not married.

Harrison explained that he began the book by asking people which Bible stories they think must be passed down to the next generation. From the responses, the Anglican priest gathered the most popular stories and rewrote them from the perspective of the non-believer.

He said his purpose in rewriting the stories is to make them more accessible, and not to promote Christianity.

Harrison said that "because we're so uneasy about things religious, these stories are slipping silently out of our consciousness,” according to the Telegraph.

"There are some stories which, in every culture, people need to know. These wonderful ancient stories are not known by a huge proportion of our society, and they need to be told."

Each of the re-written stories is followed by the original biblical text to allow readers to compare both versions.

In February, a U.N. report revealed shocking statistics indicating that less than half of British people adhere to a religion. The report was a stark contrast to U.K.’s 2001 National Census which claimed that nearly 72 percent of the population was Christian.

Furthermore, a poll by the public theology think tank Theos found that only 12 percent of adults in Britain know the details of the Christmas story.

Top 10 Bible Stories to Pass to Next Generation:

1. The Crucifixion of Jesus

2. The Birth at Bethlehem

3. Adam and Eve

4. The Good Samaritan

5. The 10 Commandments

6. The Prodigal Son

7. Noah's Ark

8. David and Goliath

9. Daniel in the Lions' Den

10. The Feeding of the 5000