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TechnoratiA recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that one out of every 150 U.S. children over the age of 8 is autistic or suffers from a related disorder. About 560,000 Americans under 21 are believed to have autism.
Many parents say that their autistic children are largely misunderstood, that they can't help it when they act up, and that they need interaction with the public.
Barbara Coppo, whose 30-year-old son, Kenny, was banned from a Vallejo, Calif., health club for screaming, said Americans need to learn about living with autistic children.
"Autism may frighten people because so little is known about the disorder," said Coppo, who wrote a book about her son. "The cause has not been scientifically proven and the victims often act in ways society doesn't understand."
However, some parents wonder how much understanding can be gained in grocery stores, churches or other public places.
Nikki Wilmoth-Williams of Rockport, Texas, said certain high-traffic areas are off-limits for her autistic 14-year-old son, Zach.
"I'm an advocate for my child, but we all have to play on the same playground," she said. "It's not about clearing the playground so my child can be on it."
Wilmoth-Williams recalled one day after Sunday school class, when Zach licked several trays full of Oreo cookies set out for students. He was asked to find a different class.
"We're talking 50 to 60 Oreos. He didn't understand the effect it had on the entire class," Wilmoth-Williams said. "I had to make amends. I had to volunteer."
Rudy advises parents of autistic children to arrange forays out in public with care, which may mean five minutes in the grocery store instead of 45 minutes.
"Certainly there are cranky people in this world. If a mother glares at your child for something that's really pretty harmless, quite honestly that's her problem," Rudy said. "But if your child is going to have a meltdown, I don't think it's in anybody's best interest to bring the child along."
Joe Schmitt, a Minneapolis lawyer who has often defended employers against claims they discriminated against disabled employees, said people who object to certain accommodations may be viewed as insensitive to those with autism or other disabilities.
"They usually really do care, but they have to weigh the considerations of others," Schmitt said.
Schmitt said church officials in Minnesota knew they would be criticized for banning Adam, but took action after the two sides failed to arrive at a compromise.
"I'm not saying they were right," Schmitt said of the church. "But I would disagree with anybody who thinks they did that casually or it wasn't important to them."
Sandy Boyles, whose 18-year-old son, Walter, is autistic, said that when she began attending First Reformed Church in New Brunswick, N.J., she didn't bring him along, because in other churches he would run up and down the aisles screeching.
"She was afraid of being ostracized. I told her, `So what? Bring him anyway,'" the Rev. Susan Kramer-Mills said.
Eventually, the small congregation revised its services to Walter's liking. Worship used to start softly and build to a crescendo. Now, it starts with more noise.
"I have to be careful because sometimes he'll do a fast movement or run," Boyles said. "But the other members aren't as scared as I am."
Daniel Paul »
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