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TechnoratiNASHVILLE, Tenn. – Ruth Graham knows firsthand how life can be filled with heartache.
The third of evangelist Billy Graham's five children, she has dealt with a daughter's teen pregnancies, another's bulimia and a son's drug use.
She also struggled with suicidal thoughts after learning that her first husband had been unfaithful — a discovery that led to a second "rebound marriage" lasting only five weeks.
These low points eventually led her in 2004 to form a ministry, Ruth Graham & Friends, that helps others address problems that she said are too often ignored in the Christian community.
"Once we're in the church, we pretend all the sinners are on the outside. We want to keep the rules, and when we can't, we become shameful and pretend we have it all together," Graham said in an interview.
Graham is trying to educate Christians about these issues through her "Get Growing" conferences, including one held last month in Nashville that drew about 400 people.
The events address troubles such as addiction, depression, eating disorders, marital infidelity, anger, divorce, loneliness and pornography.
"The world is tired of plastic Christians," she said. "I was tired of being a plastic Christian. I told everybody I had it all together, and I was falling apart. And I was scared to death to tell somebody."
At the conferences, she talks about her experiences and how her faith and family's support helped her survive. The meetings include workshops where participants can get one-on-one guidance. Graham received psychological counseling after her second divorce, and says in her workshops that some Christians might need therapy in addition to spiritual counseling.
Graham has also written several books, including "In Every Pew Sits a Broken Heart," about her own family's hardships, and "I'm Pregnant ... Now What?" about teen pregnancy.
"My concern is for the person who's in the church and is either stuck because of one of these major issues in their life or they're just struggling with a family member or someone they know," she said. "And they want to know how to get unstuck."
Graham, 57, has the same tall, graceful bearing as her famous father. A lifelong Presbyterian, she doesn't consider herself an evangelist, instead describing what she does as "sharing."
"I think I'm dealing with believers already who are just struggling in their lives like I did," she said. "A lot of people have been taught that if you're depressed there's something wrong with you spiritually. That's so unfair. It's a physical issue. No one was addressing it with me. I was told to get a Bible and go up into the mountains and I'd be fine. And I knew I wasn't. I wanted to take a gun into the woods and shoot myself."
Graham's life began to change dramatically when she found out about her first husband's infidelity after 18 years of marriage. They tried to save the union, but it dissolved about three years later, causing her to fall into a deep depression.
Graham said being Billy Graham's daughter made the situation even more difficult.
She said she tried to "live up to people's expectations, and you become inauthentic and you pretend you have it all together, but inside you're dying," she said.
Following her divorce, she says she was introduced to a handsome widower and married him after six months, despite warnings by her parents and others.
"Within 24 hours, I knew I had made a very bad mistake. I became afraid of him and decided not to stick around," she said. Continue »
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