Ex-evangelical leader Ted Haggard, who fell from grace after the exposure of his sex and drug scandal two years ago, recently opened up about the dark secret from his past that likely led to his downfall as an adult.
He spoke at Open Bible Fellowship Church, a small congregation in Morrison, Ill., on Nov. 2 – the second anniversary of his resignation as president of the 30 million-member National Association of Evangelicals.
The church’s pastor, Chris Byrd, is a long-time friend of Haggard of over 30 years.
“The first thing I want you to know is I sinned,” Haggard told the congregants.
He revealed that at the age of seven a man who worked for his father had a "sexual experience" with Haggard.
“I didn’t think anything of it and I tell you that not simply as an explanation, certainly not as an excuse,” Haggard said.
After the incident, Haggard lived as if he never had such an experience: accepting Jesus into his life at age 16, meeting and marrying his wife Gail, having five children, and founding a successful megachurch in Colorado.
But at the age of 50, the same-sex incident came back to haunt him.
“There I was, 50 years old, a conservative Republican, loving the word of God, an evangelical, born-again, spirit-filled, charismatic, all those things,” he said. “But some of the things that were buried in the depths of the sea from when I was in second grade started to rage in my mind and in my heart.”
He recalls driving to his church in the middle of the night in September 2006 and praying, “God, do whatever it takes to deliver me.”
“I thought do whatever it takes. I’ll lay anything on the altar. I hate this thing, but there were times I loved it,” Haggard remembered. “But I hate this thing, but there were times I loved it."
“I’d walked around the auditorium in the middle of the night thinking this is going to cost me everything,” Haggard recalled. “This incredible war was going on inside of me.”
During one intense prayer session before the scandal broke out, Haggard remembered feeling a deep connection with God and firmly vowing to “never do it again.”
He did not say specifically what “it” was and how he sinned during the sermon, but former gay prostitute Mike Jones had accused him of immoral acts of sex and crystal meth use.
After Haggard made his promise to God, he said he felt like a demonic power spoke to him and said, “All hell will break loose on you because of this.”
Then a few months later in November 2006 news of Haggard’s sex scandal made headlines around the world with a newspaper carrying the headline, “All Hell Broke Out at New Life Church.”
"I'm very, very sorry that I sinned," Haggard said at Open Bible Fellowship Church. "And if any of you are in sin right now it is going to cost you more than you could ever imagine. And it is going to bring shame on your wife and your kids. And so no matter what it is you get rid of it no matter what the cost. I mean you just do whatever it takes to get rid of sin. Do not sin.”
He added, “You are going to pay. Your family, everyone that loves you will pay. Everyone that hates you will pay. Everyone will pay if you sin.”
He noted in particular that one of his sons is named Ted Haggard and because of the scandal he was forced to carry his father’s shame in school, as did his other children. Continue >>
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I think its fine that Ted did this, not the apology I mean, but the act for which he is so repentant. Which I feel is strange because doubtless God must be pleased with him, since we are constrained to do what we are going to do. He has nothing to feel sorry for, I mean Augustine berates himself endlessly for the hell-worthy trespass of stealing a pear from a tree which was not his. I say all of this is needless, the guilt, the remorse, but of course the symbol of our faith is a cross, a torture device. Self torture, we are to grovel, I grovel now because I just can't feel guilt or remorse for anything I do. I ask all of you, am I lost for this? is it possible for someone to be so made that they cannot believe? Will my total lack of discomfiture about any horrible thing I do consign me to an eternity of woe and flames? I ask this in all possible seriousness, so please do not take my tone to be at all satirical or sarcastic. I wish to know, to ease my mind
If he is truly repentant, then it will be worth whatever it has cost him. After all, it is better to suffer in this life than in the next one.
Mike,
There have been many good responses to your questions, and some patient explanations. Instead of complaining that others are not understanding you, perhaps you could look back for what you may have misunderstood. I believe that you would benefit from considering what 'carnal' or 'worldy minded' mean in contrast to 'spiritual', especially since the Bible is clear that our most fundamental problem is spiritual death.
No need to reply to me, since I am arguing nothing, but only hoping you will benefit from my feeble attempt, and most likely will have forgotten all about this thread in about 30 minutes.
I am happy to see how much love is offered instead of hateful bashing. It is refreshing to see more civil discourse than usual in a Christian forum when the topic includes homosexuality (or bisexuality for those who insist on differentiating).
God can breathe life into a soul that is then thrown out by an irresponsible parent, and that soul can then be adopted by 2 loving, committed same sex parents who want to raise that child to be the wonderful human being it was created to be. When you and all your Christian friends take up a crusade to adopt the 500,000 children who need to be adopted in the US ALONE you can talk about caring for a child.
Mike22685
You have said....
"Homosexuality has no worldly ramifications in terms of hurting my partner, myself, our loved ones, or those in our community, so why would God decide its a sin?"
Can God breathe life into a new soul created in a homosexual relationship? This form of sexual relationship is not honorable to God.
It is as dishonorable as fornication and adultery.
Lover,
Amen! Those who willfully engage in sinful lifestyle are rebellious towards God.
Thanks...just trying to keep up with you.
Prophet, nice attempt at a miserably failed jab. Lover, wow, didn't realize I was that powerful! Cool...
same sex marriage will destroy humanity. stop opposing GOD!!Do NOT DEFEND SIN OR EXALT OVER GODS" TRUTH. ALL SIN LEADS TO DEATH!!!
correction: Homosexuality is one of many perversions of GODS' beautiful creation.GOD DID NOT Create EVIL!!!
Hm. Don't know myself. That's a new one. You're arguments used to be somewhat mature, but now I'm finding that they are waning a bit.
If that is the case then you don't even know yourself well enough to be truthful.
mike,
What are you talking about? I know exactly what you're saying.
You asked " Prophet, you making gains by lying come at what expense?"
I said "none".
Is that not a good enough answer for you? It has no more worldly ramifications than homosexuality. So it must be okay to lie.
Prophet, if you still don't understand my point it only makes you look ignorant as I have explained what I meant by worldly twice. If you are purposely twisting my words, then shame on you, that is slander which is sinful. At what extent will you realize you are sinning in trying to constantly put me down?
Oh. wait. Sorry, there was ramifications. It was sin and displeased God, and pulled me away from Him. Not that you would understand, since you are only worried about the physical, not the spiritual.
Mike,
There were no expense. I lied, got what I wanted, no one was hurt.
Believer, with the red light, you going through it violates the law because there is the possibility of someone being seriously injured. Prophet, you making gains by lying come at what expense? Homosexuality has no worldly ramifications in terms of hurting my partner, myself, our loved ones, or those in our community, so why would God decide its a sin?
Someone must not have sensed your scarcasm in that post prophet... As long as you get away with the crime, its not a crime, untill you get caught right??
We should be very clear of what is the sin here. If it was a straight women that had seduced Ted, it would not make it a lesser sin, as it was adultery that was the problem. Once married, irrespective of our innate orientation, we are stuck with it through good and bad times.
The unfortunate situation here is that Ted has suffered, and the name of the church as a whole has suffered. Ted has sinned, but the church too has sinned by putting undue pressure to conform for gays to put them into unnatural closets. What if evangelicals have been wrong on the issue of homosexuality, on our interpretation of the bible. We have made a very big issue out of it, and so it is a very big problem.
I wish Ted, the best of God's grace and mercy as he recovers and built a strong relationship. I do however, hope that he will be honest with his orientation, and for this incident to let him see the gay community in a different light - especially the many who has remained faithful to the faith and have abstained from sex outside a committed long term relationship.
Gentle Lamb, Singapore
http://www.psa91.com
Not all sin has worldly consequences. As I've pointed out, in my past I have lied and cheated, and gained from it. So does that make it not a sin?
Jesus died on the cross for Ted Haggards sin and our God is a God of love so we need to practice what we preach and forgive him.
black, thanks for your support, plus even if one is a Christian, when we sin it impacts our relationship with God with regards to our closeness and intimacy with Him and if we have unconfessed sin in our life He will not even hear our prayers until we confess and repent of that sin or sinful lifestyle.
Mike: You have answered your own question. One worldly consequence of unrepentant sin is that it separates us from God. Can there be a greater consequence than that?
mike22685, if I'm out at two in the morning and come to a red light and there is no one else around and I decide well that being the case I'll just go through the red light. Even though that does not hurt anyone I have still violated the law and if I were to be stopped my logic would not keep me from getting a ticket for running a red light. The same is true with your view of sin, just because what your doing does not hurt or effect anyone else it is still a sin in the sight of God because it violates His Word and it offends God.
Believer, you are not reading what I posted correctly. All other sins somehow hurt us while we are here. Sins of omission keep us from doing something that could have helped someone else. All sin, although it "separates us from God" also has worldly consequences, and God said it was sin as a way of creating harmony on earth. My marriage to another man does not hurt anyone, and so far, it is the only "sin" to which not one person has been able to say how it hurts me, my partner, or those who love and support us. We are not a detriment to society in any way, and while we choose to be in a relationship, we do not choose to be gay.
mike22685, your love for your partner is not a sin, but if you have sexual intimacy with him or anyone else you are not married to, be it physical or mental, it is sin.
mike22685, so as long as it doesn't hurt you or someone else then its not a sin, WRONG! It doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt you or someone else all sin be it sins of commission or sins of omission are an offence to God.
" If you couldn't marry a woman because she wasn't a Christian, that was your choice, but it sounds like marrying her would have hurt you emotionally."
Yes. Just as you involving yourself in a homosexual relationship is a choice. Now that we've got it clear, why am I able to make the right choice, and not you?
BTW, I chose not to marry her because God said it wasn't right. So if I had married her, yes it would have hurt me emotionally because I know I was hurting God by doing it. Remember the first commandment? That supercedes the second commandment.
Sin is not sin just because it hurts you in a worldly way. Sin is sin because it separates you from God.
But lying is not a sin if it doesn't hurt you or anyone else. Same with cheating. Same with speeding. In other words....it's only illegal if you get caught. Which you will.
Again, you ignore the question completely. In your attempt to be facetious about lying and the like, you make yourself look quite foolish. If you couldn't marry a woman because she wasn't a Christian, that was your choice, but it sounds like marrying her would have hurt you emotionally. I am not stuck on physicality, but I am trying to prove a point that sin is sin because it hurts us in some worldly way. You jump to these enormous conclusions, such as that I don't understand or know of the spiritual world, and it simply isn't true (which would mean its slander, which is also a sin!)
Lying? I've lied many times and recieved great rewards from it. Same with cheating. So it must be okay. Consensual sex between unmarried couples hurts no one, so it must be okay.
But, again, you show your limited view of life. You focus on if it physically hurts you, and ignore whether it spiritually hurts you. You are very carnally minded.
As I pointed out earlier, I could have married that woman I was in love with, even spent a lifetime together. And been happy. At what cost? Disobedience may not always incur a consequence in this life, but will be dealt with in the judgement. But by then, it will be too late to change, and to tell God that you didn't know will not be an option.
You clearly don't have good reading comprehension skill sir. You are so quick to try and jump on a flaw in my logic that you actually miss what I had said. Every other sin, lying, cheating, stealing, adultery...all hurt you in some worldly aspect. They hurt those you love, they can hurt yourself physically and emotionally. Me being with my partner does not hurt either of us, does not hurt those we love, does not scar anyone emotionally. Many say "well its just a sin because God forbid it" but what makes sense looking at the pattern of what God forbids would be either nonconsensual sex or promiscuous sex because of the risk of STDs. God does not arbitrarily decide a group of people are sinners and can't fall in love, that simply makes no sense. Please, answer me, how does my love for my partner hurt either of us in a worldly sense?
mike22685, when David acknowledged his sin in Psalm 51, he declared that he had sinned against God alone, but in reality he sinned against Bathsheba, Urriah, and the nation of Israel as well as God. But what he meant was that his sin was greatest against God, here God had done so much for him and had entrusted David with being the king and look what he does. When we sin it doesn't matter if it offends or is seen by anyone else at all because in all sin we offend God. So even though you think you're not sinning because your partner is okay with it and no one else humanly speaking is offended by what your doing or even knows your doing it, God not only knows but He's there when you and your partner are violating His standard for sexual intimacy. So in the sight of God you're sinning and you're sinning against God.
Therein is your problem, and also why I seriously question your Christianity.
"...answer how it harms me in a worldly sense..."
Do you have any spirituality about you? Who cares whether it harms you in a worldly sense. Consensual sex outside of marriage hurts no one. Do you support sex outside of marriage?
If you want to talk about things that harm you in a worldly sense, then you negate Christ's sacrifice. That hurt Him immensely. So did the millions of martyrs who willingly allowed themselves to be tortured and murdered for their faith.
The things of the spirit are not understood by the carnally minded.
No, you most certainly have not. Please tell me, in your own words, what you think my question was.
Yeah, I answered your question. You refuse to acknowledge it.
No, you didn't answer my question, and you still refuse to. Its very simple. If you're so sure its a sin, answer how it harms me in a worldly sense or think of another sin that is not worldly for a logical reason.
I'm not so sure about that. You seem to dance around answers a lot. If it doesn't suit you, you just use that old line "You didn't answer my question."
Just because it's not the answer you want, doesn't mean it hasn't been answered.
Funny, not one person was able to answer my question, at all. Prophet danced around it and tried to turn something back on me, Believer said sin is sin. Please, someone answer my question without trying to be rude.
Mike,
"If you could answer my question rather than try to shut me down with something as elementary as that I'd appreciate it."
The truth is elementary. Sin is sin. Whether it's greed, lust, homosexuality, murder, envy, strife, etc, etc...anyone who abides in those lifestyles will be separated from God.
But as for your argument about the population...is that the best you can do? "Hey, accept homosexuality because it is population control!"
How teaching abstinence outside of marriage? Naw, that would require effort on people's part. People don't want to do what's right, they want to do what feels good.
I was deeply in love with a woman once. I had dreams of marrying her. I had our lives planned out and everything. And I know she would marry me if I had asked. But one scripture always came to mind: "Do not be unequally yoked with a non-believer". You see, she wasn't a Christian.
But, as you would say, why would God deny my love when there's nothing wrong with it? We would have loved each other probably until the day we died. It wouldn't have hurt anyone. Yada yada yada....
"To obey is better than sacrifice"
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is destruction."
Marrying someone when it was clearly pointed out by God that He didn't want me to would have disobedience on my part. And it would have separated me from God, regardless of how much I loved her.
mike22685, sin is sin because all sin offends God and cost Him the life of His Son, Jesus Christ so that the penalty of sin could be paid for and we could once again enter into a personal relationship with Him through the person and finished work of His Son, Jesus Christ alone. Everytime you and your partner become sexually intimate you sin against God and each other because you willfully violate God's design for sexual intimacy. Not all sin offends another person but any and every sin always offends God.
Homosexual? What happened with the whole aspect of bisexualism in the homosexual movement. Was not Ted Haggard's sin that of bisexualism since he still professes love for his wife?
Mike, Could you please tell me why you believe that homosexuality is " Not " sin.?
I believe that it is, But I gey my belief from the Bible, the Word of God.
Please tell me what you base your belief on. Where in the Bible do you read that homosexuality is not sin.?
Show me, then I will change my opinion.
you will never budge prophet, mike. see my comments on indoctrination on today's CP gay protests article.
If you could answer my question rather than try to shut me down with something as elementary as that I'd appreciate it.
Homosexuality is a sin.
Believer, there certainly is a sin in cheating on your wife and claiming that the drugs made you do it (a sober man's thoughts are a drunk man's actions) but my partner and I are not living in sin by loving one another. Sin is sin because it hurts you in a worldly way or hurts someone else by your actions in a worldly way (stealing, lying, murder all hurt someone physically, emotionally, mentally, etc.) When it comes to my partner and I, who hurt no one, you say that it hurts me spiritually because God arbitrarily says he condemns is. Tell me, where is the worldly hurt? What could the reason possibly be that me being gay is a sin? Its not like we need to bring more children into the world. On the news last night, they said there are 510,000 kids in the US alone waiting to be adopted.
"And yet those same folks have a completely different tone for gay people with differing Christian viewpoints" How do you know my tone towards gays? Aren't you presuming a little too much.
ifeelfine, no he didn't come clean at first, but he has since and called his offence what it is, sin and that's the difference, most if not all of the other posters you refer to desire to continue to live in their sin and even try to legitamize it by negating many of the truths taught in God's Word and you tend to support them in this by negating the truth of God's Word when it comes to His original and perfect design for marriage and sexual intimacy.
ifeelfine,
The simplicity of it escapes you. Ted admitted his sin and asked for forgiveness, and is working to change it.
Can the same be said by practicing homosexuals?
It's interesting to see the tone of people's comments on this site. It's even more interesting to note that the folks that have the same theology as Ted Haggard are forgiving of his actions. And yet those same folks have a completely different tone for gay people with differing Christian viewpoints . . . remember, Haggard didn't come clean. He was caught and when he was caught he lied.
I feel bad for TG's family, but not for him. hypocrisy at its worst.
Mike22685,
Thank you for pointing that out. Though I wish Mike #2 would answer my question.
coffee, he is reported to have admitted to having sexual intimacy with a man while he was under the influence of drugs and it is also reported they he and his wife are still together and working through this.
What exactly has or did Haggard say about being a gay or doing gay things. Has his wife accepted him back?
I admire this man for turning away from evil, repenting and trying to live a life in communion with God again.
He has paid a heavy price and I pray that people, especially his family, will forgive him and move on. This man became to well known to quickly, and he lacked the prayer life needed to withstand the temptations that affect all men who serve God in a very public way. The Devil loves going after people who publicly serve God and are well known throughout the country and world.
Let us pray for him and his family that God will restore peace and love to them.
mb, are you apologizing for making the assumption that he is homosexual?
mike22685, thanks for pointing that out, believer
my last comment was too flip. i do not know haggard and i wish him the best with however he wants to live - with his wife or with a new lover (male or female). it is a shame how the press has treated the guy - just because americans are so fixated on people's private sex lives. readers need to mind their own business.
haggard should apologize to his wife and find a male lover. he is obviously gay.
Believer, there are now 2 mikes on this board, I didn't say the comment you or Prophet are referring to
Mike,
And you'd be saying that about Jesus when He said that any man that lusts in his heart after a woman has already committed adultery in his heart. That's creating "shame, blame, fear, guilt."
Why aren't you criticizing Jesus' actions too?
mike22685, does that mean Pastors are not to speak to the sins that so easily intangle people to include believers, that they are to look the other way and not point out sin and ways for believers to avoid falling into the temptations that lead to those sins. And don't you find it interesting that Christ's first sermon dealt with the people needing to repent of their sins.
to artm
if you do not want to be 'judged', then practice what you preach.
to talmid
does not pastors, preachers do what you describe? they always point to sin creating shame, blame, fear, guilt. how come there should be compassion when pastors commit sin like this but pastors & preachers deliver fire & brimstone to those who are already suffering. their message is not the gospel but sin=suffering & suffering=sin. this is another issue that exists in christianity which is INJUSTICE!
No doubt this poor brother has borne the weight of his shame and it has costed him and his family a lot. It is though in those situations where true Christian love will be revealed. I can think of Jesus' words to the woman caught in adultery: (Jhn 8:11 NASB) - She said, "No one, Lord." And Jesus said, "I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more."
If it's not for the grace of God, we too can fall, whether it's this kind of sin or any other.
(Isa 66:2 NASB) - "For My hand made all these things, Thus all these things came into being," declares the LORD. "But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.
We could learn a big lesson from this guy. Those who willfully remain in sin, even claiming that God condones it, are simply lazy. They don't want to fight. They don't want to put forth effort. It's easier for them to create god in their image and desires, instead of changing theirs.
What a testimony! A man able to come to grips with his sin, and overcome it...even at the cost of everything. When we are in bondage to sin and sinful lifestyles, and we make the choice to change, satan will rock your world! It pisses him off to no end. But if we are willing to endure the cost, for sake of our souls, the reward will far outweigh the cost. Haggard lost his church an ministry, but he won his soul. And that is what matters. That is eternal. And when he stands before God, the greatest reward will not be because he had a big church and ministry. His greatest reward will come from the battle he won inside himself, through the power of the Holy Spirit.
mike22685, are you saying that they can prove scientifically why and that people willfully live in a sinful lifestyle?
As I was saying, I hope Haggard isn't trying to assert that all gays are gay because they were molested as children, because that most certainly isn't the case. If he wants to blame it on inner demons, so be it, but I for one look to science for an explanation, and demons aren't one of them.
Whoever flagged me has been reported to CP because I said nothing innappropriate. Continue and you will be kicked off the website.
And quite right to, homosexuality is not a psychiatric disorder.
The American Psychiatric Association was pressured by homosexual activists into removing "homosexuality" as a psychiatric disorder many years ago.
Thus paving for the way for normalizing that which is sinful in the sight of God.
As Christians we do not have the power to overcome the sinful desires that lay festering in our heart. True life change only happens over time with the power of the Holy Spirit living through us. Deep heart level life-change is a struggle for all of us. Who doesn't struggle with lust, greed, jealousy, anger, materialism. 70% of committed Christians admit they struggle with this and the other 30% aren't honest. I pray for Ted that he sees healing and victory in the future. Apart from the grace of God there go I. Maybe not in this specific area but for sure in others.
wade, in fairness to Ted Haggard this is just a portion of his message, so it could be he did address those issues, but for what ever reason it was not reported in this article.
While it appears that Mr. Haggard has sought forgivness and repented, his words seem to be focused primarily on how living in sin will ultimately cause the sinner to lose everything and bring shame on the sinners family. Of course living in sin may indeed cause the loss of everything for the sinner. However, as Christians, our first and most important concern when we sin, especially when we live with that sin for years in secret and darkness, should be how that sin dishonors God. I have prayed for Mr. Haggard since the news of his transgressions were made public and I hope that he has truly asked for forgivness and has truly repented. As a life long sinner myself, I know that when I sin I am sorry if my sin has caused pain for someone else. Moreover, like Mr.Haggard, I also feel shame, guilt and embarassment. However, my deepest pain comes from knowing that through my sin I have dishonored God. Mr. Haggard's comments to the Congragation he spoke with seem to be a little short on this point.
There's something about humility and honesty that draws us to someone who has fallen. In our hearts we know that anyone can fall, and we hate to see anyone go through this. I can only go by what I see here, but TH seems to have that honesty and humility. I hope his recovery, and that of everyone connected to this fall, is complete.
Mike. no one claims to be perfect, Or thinks that they are perfect in any way, " For we have all sinned and come short of the Glory of God."
But many repent of their sin, and by the Grace of God turn away from that sin.
Then there are those who sin and will not repent. They refuse to accept God's Grace, and refuse to turn away from that sin.
There is the difference. There are no perfect beings on planet Earth, But there are many who understand that God cannot accept sin, and God will not accept our sin, We must repent.
And accept The sacrifice of Christ for our sin.
Will youy do that mike.? Will you repent and turn from your sin.?
If you will, God will forgive you, and help you turn from that sinful lifestyle.
But understand, That if you refuse to repent, Then you will face God with Him as your judge.
Look to Jesus Mike, He is there for you, Just as he is for me, and anyone who will seek Him.
Praying for him - I'm happy to see him repentant. That said, his statement "Jesus wasn’t just sympathetic to “lousy people,†or kind to awful people, but he became one of them and took on their identity" could be misconstrued a bit and I hope he didn't mean the Jesus accepted sin and was a sinner himself... he accepted the sinner, loved the sinner, and redeemed the sinner for sure.
I pray that he will get this ugly thing uprooted. Lay the ax to the root. Or it will come back.
I truly can empathize with his struggle with his past and I admire him for not using it as an excuse for his sin, but yet I wonder if this incident(s) would have occurred had he had a group of accountability partners or as Stu Weber says if he would have had some Ranger Buddies watching his back? Hopefully, those in ministry will see that we are all vulnerable and how important it is to have "Ranger Buddies". I pray God will use his testimony to powerfully speak to all Pastors.
"The mark of courage. To love the unloving."
I am pierced!