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Society|Thu, Nov. 20 2008 10:53 AM EST

eHarmony Agrees to Provide Same-Sex Dating Service

By Beth DeFalco|Associated Press Writer

TRENTON, N.J. – Online dating service eHarmony said Wednesday it will launch a new Web site which caters to same-sex singles as part of a discrimination settlement with New Jersey's Civil Rights Division.

The settlement is the result of a complaint New Jersey resident Eric McKinley filed against the online matchmaker in 2005. McKinley, 46, said he was shocked when he tried to sign up for the dating site but couldn't get past the first screen because there was no option for men seeking men.

"It's very frustrating and it's very humiliating to think that other people can do it and I can't," he said. "And the only reason I can't is because I'm a gay man. That's very hurtful."

Neither the company nor its founder, Neil Clark Warren, acknowledged any liability. Under the settlement, eHarmony will pay New Jersey state division $50,000 to cover administrative costs and will pay McKinley $5,000.

McKinley called the settlement "fabulous" and said he was happy with the outcome. He's considering signing up for the new site once it launches.

Pasadena, Calif.-based eHarmony said it plans to launch its new service, called Compatible Partners, on March 31.

The site will be free for the first 10,000 users who register within a year of its launch. After that, pricing for the new site will be equal to that of eHarmony.

"With the launch of the Compatible Partners site, our policy is to welcome all single individuals who are genuinely seeking long-term relationships," said Antone Johnson, eHarmony's vice president of legal affairs.

Theodore B. Olson, an attorney for eHarmony, said that even though the company believed McKinley's complaint was "an unfair characterization of our business," it choose to settle because of the unpredictable nature of litigation.

"eHarmony looks forward to moving beyond this legal dispute, which has been a burden for the company, and continuing to advance its business model of serving individuals by helping them find successful, long-term relationships," Olson said.

The popular online matchmaker has been sued before for discrimination.

Last year, a Northern California woman sued the online dating service. She also alleged discrimination against gays, lesbians and bisexuals.

In 2005, a San Francisco man filed a similar complaint to McKinley's, but the state determined no discrimination laws were violated.

Another California man sued eHarmony in 2005 for refusing to help him find a date. The company said there was one good reason for that: He was still married. That case was dropped on the eve of trial.

Copyright 2008 Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
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  • Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:52 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    feet,
    Amen. And when I see my brother sinning, I love him enough to warn him of the consequences...even if he doesn't like it, or tries to justify it.

  • Thu Nov 27, 2008 12:26 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    god has created man thru the spirit of his son and called him very good. he has put his laws in his mind and heart. he has given him a heart of flesh. he has given him a redeemer who lives in him and a helper, the holy spirit to convict him of all truth.

    he leaves man merely to acknowledge this in the life he lives with his neighbor.

  • Thu Nov 27, 2008 11:16 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    whalver,
    Yes that is true. But God still has not changed man's will. If He were so upset about mankind, He would have superceded man's will and forced them to do what He wanted.
    But He can't. He will someday give each person the reward they deserve, for the works they have done...whether out of disobedience or obedience.

  • Thu Nov 27, 2008 2:21 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Prophet
    I offer one final thought as we go into the Thanksgiving Holiday.

    Gen 6:5 And Jehovah saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
    Gen 6:6 And Jehovah repented that He had made man on the earth, and He was angry to His heart.
    Gen 6:7 And Jehovah said, I will destroy man whom I have created, from the face of the earth, both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air. For I repent that I have made them.

    Eventually the man who's heart is not changed will meet an end. This is the removal of sin, and the sinner.

    God Bless you Prophet. Perhaps we will continue this conversation another day.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:39 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    "In regards to your scenerio, you have controlled both his will and his ability to act. What you have not done is to change his heart."

    That don't make no sense. I haven't controlled his will, because his will is to kill me. All I've done is controlled his circumstance. Saying that I controlled his will would be to say that I could walk into the same room with him, give him a gun, and not have to worry that he'd kill me. It's a rather simple concept.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:32 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    The only difference between man and robot is free will.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:58 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    wrhalver, God bless your heart!
    Yours too, Prophet, thank you for engaging in this conversation!
    Thanks to you feet and Mike 22685, and all!
    Thanks to God on High!
    Happy Thanksgiving! Be thankful all!

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 9:42 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Prophet
    You have said...
    "But from what I've read, God does have control over Satan and his minions, but only to the point of casting them out and binding them. He even gives us that ability as well, through His name."

    How is that God has control only to a certain point? God has given Christ full authority on Earth and in Heaven. There is nothing Satan can do outside of the authority of God.

    In regards to your scenerio, you have controlled both his will and his ability to act. What you have not done is to change his heart.

    Only God can change hearts. But we can be the instruments God uses to help lead a man to that change of heart.

    The only difference between a robot and a man is emotions. We call it "having a heart".

    Otherwise, God desires that we have the "robot mentality" to listen and obey without any thought or fear of being misled. Full complete trust with no concern about our own individual will.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:00 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    whalver,
    "Why did God not stop Satan from using the snake to tempt Adam and Eve into sin? Why did God not stop the snake?

    Was God incapable, or did God have a plan that needed to be accomplished?"

    Now you're getting deep. God created us to have a relationship with him, not be robots. But from what I've read, God does have control over Satan and his minions, but only to the point of casting them out and binding them. He even gives us that ability as well, through His name.
    Let me ask you this: Let's say a man wants to kill me. It is his earnest will and desire to kill me. So I have him arrested and incarcerated. Did I control his will? Or his action? I did nothing to his will, because he still wants to kill me. But I did change the circumstances so that it made it difficult if not impossible to do so.
    That's the way it is with God.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 4:20 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    On a side note:

    I would like to thank the Christian Post for keeping this article and blog linked on the main page for this long.

    I do not know if this is because of the discussion that has resulted, or if the administrators have fallen behind in updating the main page links.

    Either way, it is my prayer that the Holy Spirit continues to use this discussion to help us all grow closer to the Lord long after this article is buried in the CP archives.

    God Bless.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:19 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Good Afternoon Prophet and all,
    Thank you for responding, Prophet. My apologies I have been very busy preparing for a house full. My reasoning for asking was to simply help clarify the use of the word "judge" in this context. It seems "we" had a conflict with the use of the word and I was merely attempting to gain clarity. In this text we are to understand that God will indeed judge us for the purpose of discipline. In other words God does and will judge his children. Do you agree?

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:08 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    im addressing this:

    After resisting God's Will throughout 5 Eygptian plagues Pharaoh heardened his own heart, God merely allowed him his own will.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 11:03 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Prophet

    Allow me to ask you this question....

    Why did God not stop Satan from using the snake to tempt Adam and Eve into sin? Why did God not stop the snake?

    Was God incapable, or did God have a plan that needed to be accomplished?

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 10:58 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    "God gave them a spirit of stupor,
    eyes so that they could not see
    and ears so that they could not hear"...

    Feet, who is this Scripture applied to?

    Why are you writing this? Please expand.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 8:51 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    my understanding is that the "he" is god.

    romans 11: 7What then? What Israel sought so earnestly it did not obtain, but the elect did. The others were hardened, 8as it is written:
    "God gave them a spirit of stupor,
    eyes so that they could not see
    and ears so that they could not hear,
    to this very day."[d] 9And David says:
    "May their table become a snare and a trap,
    a stumbling block and a retribution for them.
    10May their eyes be darkened so they cannot see,
    and their backs be bent forever."[e]

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 2:40 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    John 12:42

    "42Nevertheless among the chief rulers also many believed on him; but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue:"

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 1:49 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    John 12:39-41
    39For this reason they could not believe, because, as Isaiah says elsewhere:
    40"He has blinded their eyes
    and deadened their hearts,
    so they can neither see with their eyes,
    nor understand with their hearts,
    nor turn, and I would heal them."[a] 41Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus' glory and spoke about him.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 1:46 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    —and I would heal them."[a] 41Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus' glory and spoke about him.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 1:45 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    reedit

    John 12:39-41



    39For this reason they could not believe, because, as Isaiah says elsewhere:
    40"He has blinded their eyes
    and deadened their hearts,
    so they can neither see with their eyes,
    nor understand with their hearts,
    nor turn—and I would heal them."[a] 41Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus' glory and spoke about him.

  • Wed Nov 26, 2008 1:43 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    John 12:39-41


    39For this reason they could not believe, because, as Isaiah says elsewhere:
    40"He has blinded their eyes
    and deadened their hearts,
    so they can neither see with their eyes,
    nor understand with their hearts,
    nor turn—and I would heal them."[a] 41Isaiah said this because he saw Jesus' glory and spoke about him.

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 11:34 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    forgiven,
    What do you need clarification on? That sounds pretty straightforward.
    God chastises (disciplines) us so that we will not be condemned (sentenced) with the world. The scriptures talk many times about how God disciplines us. I'm memorizing Hebrews 12 which says

    5And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:

    6For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.

    7If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?

    8But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.

    9Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?

    10For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 10:03 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Hi Prophet,
    Could you share your understanding into 1 Cor. 11:32 "When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world."
    Thank you.

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 5:49 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    So, since it is God's will that everyone comes to repentance....why doesn't He just force His will upon everyone?

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 4:35 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    That ye may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us the apostles of the Lord and Saviour:

    3Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,

    4And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.

    5For this they willingly are ignorant of, that by the word of God the heavens were of old, and the earth standing out of the water and in the water:

    6Whereby the world that then was, being overflowed with water, perished:

    7But the heavens and the earth, which are now, by the same word are kept in store, reserved unto fire against the day of judgment and perdition of ungodly men.

    8But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

    9The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.



    First of all, we see in verse 5 that they were WILLINGLY ignorant. And in verse 9 that is is God's will that ALL come to repentance.

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 3:46 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    "i will have mercy on who i chose to have mercy."

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:54 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    "...he proactively hardened pharoah's heart."

    Much in the same way that God will "give them over" as in Romans 1:28 He also hardened Pharaoh's heart (Ex 4:21) but not against his will.

    After resisting God's Will throughout 5 Eygptian plagues Pharaoh heardened his own heart, God merely allowed him his own will. There wasn't a chance Pharoah was going to relent, he built up so much anger and pride at God all he could do is lash out at God in his impotent fury.

    He wouldn't listen to God much the same way all those unrepentant sinners (homosexuals included) in Romans 1:20-1:32 will not.

    God is a God of Mercy but also of Justice and you give God no other choice but to let you have your way by giving you over and heardening your heart.

    How long will God strive with a man, Feet?

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:28 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Christs was an example of a servant. Willfully submitting to God's plan.

    "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:

    6Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:

    7But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:

    8And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross."
    Philippians 2:5-8

    He willfuly submitted to God's plan.

  • Tue Nov 25, 2008 12:07 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    "Sorry to post again, but this came to me as I was musing the Jewish exodus and all the precluded it. That is a good example. Why didn't God just force Pharoah to want to let Israel go? Because He couldn't. He sent plague after plague to try and convince the Pharoah that He was God and this is what He wanted, but He still couldn't make Pharoah do what He wanted. Not until the situation got so bad that the Pharoah thought he couldn't take any more. But even at that point, it was still the Pharoah's choice to let the Israelites leave."

    reread the scripture, god was much more interactive than that..............he proactively hardened pharoah's heart..................to allow for the happening of the killing of the first born and to enable the passover happening.

    Exodus 4:21
    The LORD said to Moses, "When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go.

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:17 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Prophet

    Was Christ a "robot", an example, or perhaps both?

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:23 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    As far as the scripture in Luke...again Jesus made the decision to follow God's will. Jesus had the choice and his choice was to follow God's will.

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:22 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    So, you're saying that it is possible to completely turn your will over to God, where God controls you and you are nothing more than a robot.

    Let me ask you this:

    Is it love to do what God tells you because you want to, or because you have to?

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:13 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Prophet

    One more thought.

    Does it profit a man more to have confidence that God cannot control his will, or that man can and should turn his will over to God?

    Luk 22:42 saying, Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from Me. Yet not My will, but Yours be done.

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:12 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Yes, God did put a pillar before the Egyptian army. And again, it proves nothing more than God cannot control our will. He can control circumstances, but not our will. And, yes, God is in control of what's going on and always will be. I could elaborate, but then I would be delving into the argument of predestination.
    God is in control of the circumstances in my life. But not in control of how I handle those circumstances.

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 3:09 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Holio commented; "God did not call for us to sentence our brothers or sisters for failing."

    We are not 'sentencing our brothers' rather we fail as Christians if we only cheerlead those already on the right path...but to rebuke our brother to keep him from straying off the path.

    "And of some have compassion, making a difference:
    "And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh." Jude 1 22

    "Now I myself am confident concerning you, my brethren, that you also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another." Romans 15:14.

    "Let the righteous strike me; It shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; It shall be as excellent oil; Let my head not refuse it. For still my prayer is against the deeds of the wicked." Psalm141:5

    "Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, that the rest also may fear." 1 Timothy 5:20

    "Therefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith..." Titus 1:13.
    "Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you."
    Titus 2:13

    This is why these conversations here on this post is taking place, not to only edify those who are following but to correct those who are Falling (not just failing).

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:02 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Let us not be as the unsaved warring among ourselves.

    All Scripture is God-breathed and is profitable for doctrine, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.
    Anyone one of us will lose a battle here and there from time to time; God never promised we would not fail at times. However, we are suppose to remain rooted in His Word. How may prayed that he be strengthen before of after this battle that he be renewed? How may sought to correct him of his error or reminded him to be strong in time of crises. God did not call for us to sentence our brothers or sisters for failing; He called us to remind our fellow saint to continue in doing what is right.

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:02 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Humm,

    As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another!

    I have to get going. Can't really comment right now.

  • Mon Nov 24, 2008 4:28 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Prophet

    Two thoughts to offer.
    1) If you read the accounting very carefully, it is noted several times that it is God who hardened the heart of Pharoah in order to accomplish His will.

    2) During the course of these events, God used a pillar of clouds to stop the forward advancement of the Eygptian army from Israel. The pillar was eventually removed allowing for the events leading up to the actual destruction of the army.

    God is in control. God is always in control.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 11:04 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Sorry to post again, but this came to me as I was musing the Jewish exodus and all the precluded it. That is a good example. Why didn't God just force Pharoah to want to let Israel go? Because He couldn't. He sent plague after plague to try and convince the Pharoah that He was God and this is what He wanted, but He still couldn't make Pharoah do what He wanted. Not until the situation got so bad that the Pharoah thought he couldn't take any more. But even at that point, it was still the Pharoah's choice to let the Israelites leave.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 11:01 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    A physical intervention is no different than a spiritual. Whether it was an angel, or a human, all he did was speak to Abraham. That's it. Period. He didn't grab his hand and force him to stop. He simple told him to stop, and Abraham chose to stop.
    I'm trying to understand how you can miss something so simple.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 10:59 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Ah yes, the destruction of the armies of Egypt. Hmmm...nope still haven't gone against the will of man. That was an example of God doing something to someone for a desired result, but He in no way controlled their actions. Why didn't God just force them to decide to stop? Because He can't. As I said earlier, he can allow situations to happen to try and persuade a person, or people, to do a certain thing, but He can never force them to choose what He wants them to. Now what I want to see is God force someone to do something that they don't want to do.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 10:07 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Forgivensinner
    Thank you...well stated


    Prophet
    You have said...
    "You'll notice that the angel didn't physically intervene"

    Why should a physical intervention be viewed any differently than a Spiritual intervention?

    But perhaps we can see both when the nation of Israel and Eygypt witnessed the destruction of the entire Egyptian army when God willfully and forcefully freed His people from the bondage of Eygpt.

    God's mighty hand was on display that day.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 9:37 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Ok, I am entrigued in the judgement conversation ~ thanks guys.

    I'm definately thinking there's something here ~ in further study I've come across 1 Cor. 11:32 which is discussing the Lord's supper.

    (using a commentary)
    V31,32 The purpose of self-examination is to come to the table prepared in heart. Here Paul quickly adds that even when a Christian is judged by the Lord, this judgement is not punitive to destruction, but a form of fatherly discipline (Heb 12:5) to bring God's child to repentance, so that he will not be finally and totally judged with the unsaved world.

    Just adding to the discussion, wrhalver seems to coming from this understanding of christian judgement. (not trying to put any words in your mouth, wrhalver.)

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 7:44 pm Agree: 1   Disagree: 0

    Yes, God told Abraham to do something. Abraham obeyed...God's will was not forced upon him. You'll notice that the angel didn't physically intervene, he simply spoke to Abraham. Abraham, as with Moses, had the choice to make. God didn't force him to do anything. This is confirmed by the angel's words "...for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me."
    The angel was commending Abrahams willingness to do what God told him to, thereby showing that man still chooses what to do.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:35 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Prophet

    Perhaps it would be good to look at the circumstances when Abraham was told by God to take his only son Issac into a mountain and sacrifice him.

    We note that Abraham was obedient even to the point of acting with the knife.

    But then an Angel of God was sent to intervene. This was a case of immediate intervention.

    This is not always the case but the faith of Abraham needed to be proved, and it was proven.

    As I'm sure you aware, this is one of the greatest accounts of faith under test in recorded biblical history.

    God handled Moses case differently. Moses had something different to learn. Perhaps he needed to be reminded of who he was and who the Great I Am is, and who it is that sent him to Israel in the first place.

    Shalom my friend.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 6:04 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    whalver,
    It was God's will that Moses speak to the rock. Did Moses? No. So God's will was not imposed.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 5:55 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    DelightntheLord

    Yes, Christ already paid the price.

    We learn to accept it and seek after it in full.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:48 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    wrhalver,

    Did Jesus die for ALL your sins?

    Or only some?

    His Holy Spirit guides us in all truth, we cannot obey God in our own strength instead we rely on daily guidance from Him.

    The punishment for our sin has been nailed to the cross...all of it.

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:43 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    More;

    "Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him." Romans 5:9

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 4:40 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    wrhalver,

    Tested, chastened, disciplined but not judged. Judgment speaks of punishment. Why would God punish His children? He doesn't. Yes, we are to be obedient but we are not forced to be obedient, this is a function of our free will i.e. to follow..

    The judgment spoken of in the OT is not what is spoken of in NT:

    Jhn 5:24 "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who hears My word and believes in Him who sent Me has everlasting life, and shall not come into judgment, but has passed from death into life."

  • Sun Nov 23, 2008 3:50 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    wrhalver,
    I am intrigued by this statement. Your reference to the obedience of Christ and Adam is a correlation I'd love for you to expound on. Would you, please?

    Christ obeyed/Adam learned to obey.

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