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TechnoratiOnce you get past the first four of the Ten Commandments that deal with humans' relationship to God, the first "horizontal" commandment is that people honor their fathers and mothers (Exodus 20:12). Last month we honored mothers. If you went to church, you may have seen moms getting flowers, perhaps being asked to stand, even receiving applause. The sermon likely extolled the virtues of motherhood with a special emphasis on appreciating the women who raised us.
This Sunday is Father's Day, and I have, on more occasions than I wished, sat through Father's Day sermons that primarily explained how men have failed as fathers, and why, if we would just adopt a 3-, 7-, or 12-step plan of self-flagellation and growth, we might be able to become the men God intended. Like most men, I am not the perfect father. Like all people, I am not a perfect person. But how will our children learn to honor their fathers if they can't even get an attaboy from the pulpit on Father's Day? They certainly are unlikely to get it at the Cineplex.
Just look at the way in which men are depicted in film. The most popular movie the last two weekends running is The Hangover: a vile, vulgar, pornographic film about males who are chronologically "men," but who have the character of post-hormonal adolescents. Fathers don't get better treatment. Imagine That stars Eddie Murphy as a divorced dad who is too busy for his daughter, until he discovers that her magic blanket is the key to killer business deals. By the time he "comes around" for the finale, his conversion is weak - another example of a child teaching a parent how to be an adult.
Many contemporary film fathers are divorced. One wonders how well Larry Daley (Ben Stiller's character in both Night at the Museum films) would manage as a dad if he did not have an enchanted museum to guard. In the first film he cannot hold a job, and in the second film he is so obsessed with work that he neglects his son. Comb through recent releases and compare the number of films that portray men as moral, responsible champions of their family, as opposed to self-obsessed, immoral, drunken, promiscuous losers. Guess which image gets the most screen time?
It is hard to say if movies influence culture, or if culture is mirrored in movies, but clearly they feed on one another. While we cannot lay all of the blame at the feet of film, it is hard to deny that the consistent portrayal of men as incompetent, infantile, immoral, irresponsible or worse has an effect on how we view men, and how men view themselves. But rather than spend more time looking at the problem, I prefer to offer some solutions. If you are looking for films that create a strong image of dads, here are some suggestions. And if you are a pastor, looking for some good sermon illustrations that show dads doing the right thing, you can go to MovieMinistry.com to get free sermon and teaching illustrations for Father's Day.
The list of character traits that make a great dad is too long to list, but there are films that portray fathers as committed husbands, caring providers, able defenders, good role models, and self-sacrificing heroes who will stop at nothing to redeem their kids.
The Good Husband
In recent years I have come across few films that startled me as much as the beautiful Marley and Me. Generally, I am not a fan of dog movies, but in Marley and Me the dog (Marley) is merely a catalyst for the relationship between John and Jennifer Grogan. Unlike most films that end with a wedding, Marley and Me begins with one. It is not a candy-coated perfect marriage. But John and Jennifer are adults, and act like it - not in some stultifying, boring way - but with passion and purpose. We watch them grow together, have children, and raise them. But one of my favorite scenes in the film is between John and his friend Sebastian. Sebastian is handsome and adventurous - the "bad boy" who won't be tied down, but who is not above using Marley to attract single women at the beach. When John and Jennifer hit a rough patch in their marriage, Sebastian is right there pushing divorce as an option. Continue »
