E-mail
Print
RSS
G-bookmarks
Live
TechnoratiThe face of bullies has changed in recent days. It used to be the biggest kid on the playground with a chip on his shoulder. Now it can be the smallest kid in the comfort of his or her own home, texting insults and untruths about others in total anonymity. No black eyes or twisted noses, but even more dangerous repercussions for everyone involved, including their parents.
Some kids will choose bullying as a way to preserve their own position in the pecking order, and as a way to gain ground. They use words to destroy reputations and to damage the competition's self-confidence, to increase their own "king of the hill" standing. Or, they use bullying tactics to get back at others for some perceived wrong that was done to them.
Today's technology intensifies and multiplies the cruel insults of bullies far beyond the school corridors. Kids use text messaging, e-mails, chat rooms, social networks, and instant messaging and can hide behind a veil of anonymity to unleash their attacks. In older days, it would have been like getting on the school-wide intercom to say nasty things about another person. Such hateful words can damage a tender heart for years, and as we've seen in the news time and time again, it can even lead a teen to suicide.
If your child is being bullied, you may need to go the extra mile to protect him or her, including going to those in authority or to the instigator's parents. And your teen needs mom and dad to be sensitive to what's going on, and be aware of what it is happening. That means taking on the role of a detective at times, since teens tend to keep such things to themselves.
For the parents whose teen is bullying others, they should be quick to act to shut off access to the "tools of the trade," including the internet and text messaging, until the teen learns to be more respectful of his or her peers. The repercussions of bullying can be quite serious for the teen and the parents, and can also do severe harm to the girls who are the targets.
In either case, parents of young teens should keep a close eye on their child's online and text-messaging activities, warning the teen that any form of bullying or passing on falsehoods will be an immediate cause for having their digital communications tools taken away from them. If the teen isn't willing to reveal what they've been saying online or texting, then take it away until they do. Remember, what's said or shown on the internet can last for years, and it can affect the future of both the teller and the one who's talked about.
One final word to the wise...just hours before writing this article, Google was ordered by a U.S. court to reveal the identity of someone who wrote inappropriate words online about a former model. The writer had kept his identity anonymous and thought he was safe - a classic case of what I call "digital courage." But the court for the first time has forced Google to reveal the writers identity so that he could be taken to trial for defamation of character. Such a landmark ruling sets a precedent and opens the door to defamation of character law suits by anyone who feels he or she was wrongly spoken about on the internet. The days of "digital courage" could be over once "digital litigation" takes root. So, protect your teen, and your pocketbook, by getting their online comments under control.
Mark Gregston is an author, speaker, national radio host, and the founder of Heartlight, a residential counseling opportunity for struggling adolescents, where he lives with 50 high schoolers. Learn more at http://www.heartlightministries.org or call 903-668-2173.
_small.jpg)
