Summer Madness

It's summertime. That means it's time to play-to experience some leisure. But our work-oriented society does not give leisure its due. In his book, When I Relax I Feel Guilty, Tim Hansel talks about the business of play, or "leisure" in an insightful way:

"If you excuse me a moment for not speaking English, I think you will find it helpful to know the background of the word ‘leisure.' It comes from the Latin word ‘licere,' which means ‘to be permitted.' More today than ever, we need to learn how to give ourselves permission to relax, to play, to enjoy life, and to enjoy God for Who He is.

"It is interesting that the Latin word for word was ‘negotium,' or ‘nonleisure.' Work was thus secondary, defined as it related to leisure. Our society does just the opposite, defining leisure as ‘nonwork.' We tend to be almost compulsively utilitarian. Everything must contribute to our work. We play in order to work better or be more ‘useful' to God. In many ways these are the habits that keep us unhappy. In our myopia of overvalued productivity, we have forgotten how to enjoy things for what they are.

"Leisure is more than just nonwork. It is a point of contact with reality and a catalyst for new experiences, new ideas, new people, and new places. It is the time when the gift of wholeness again becomes a hope and a possibility."

Zorba It

Whatever it is that you think of when you think of play make sure it is play and not just work masquerading as play. Zorba, in the book Zorba The Greek, cries out, "Boss, you've got everything except one thing-MADNESS! A man needs a little madness or else he never dares cut the rope to be free."

Play is supposed to be madness. It us supposed to help us "cut the ropes," which keep us bound to the rigorous demands of our work-oriented minds. That's why you need to hone in on the things that do this for you. Every one of us needs a hobby, a diversion-something that we love to do with all our might and all our energy just for the fun of it. But keep in mind that one person's play is another person's work. Do what gives YOU a sense of freedom from your responsibilities.

In front of an audience of medical professionals, Sir William Osler, professor of medicine at John Hopkins University said, "No man is really happy or safe without a hobby, and it makes precious little difference what the outside interest may be-botany, beetles or butterflies; roses, tulips or irises; fishing, mountaineering or antiques-anything will do as long as he straddles a hobby and rides it hard."

Paul Thigpen writes: "Real play, as opposed to work masquerading as play, is characterized by self-forgetfulness and an absorption in the activity at hand. Work concentrates on goals, achievements and turning out products. It's focused on the future. But play is centered on the present; on the joy of a process pleasurable in itself. When our ‘play' becomes chiefly concerned with winning, keeping rules or reaching some ‘educational' objective, it's no longer play. When the motivation is something besides fun, it's work."

Play is a process of doing something refreshing or fulfilling without having to achieve a goal. Play itself brings you pleasure; it is enjoyable. Play is free and spontaneous. Its emphasis is on feeling, with one moment of feeling leading to the next until you are lost in the present. Play is enriched by emotional involvement and spontaneity. It usually includes people, surroundings, and activities that push us into the moment, instead of letting the moment pass by unobserved. Though we tend to focus mostly on the past and the future, life really only exists in the present. Play is one of our few opportunities to live in the present-it is where now becomes most accessible to us. We need to play.

The Benifits Of Play

Though thinking about the benefits of play can rob the point of play, I share a couple with you in the hope that you will start playing. Play gives us a whole host of benefits, but let's talk about two: it's a stress reducer, and it builds relationships.

There are scads of studies that show people who participate in recreational play (from athletic games, to outdoor interests like hunting, fishing, skiing, etc.) experience a reduction of stress. Since stress is a significant factor in our general health (especially heart disease and blood pressure), play will improve your overall health and increase your life expectancy. Play is a natural "tranquilizer." So, what are you waiting for?

The only down side of knowing this is you may try to play to accomplish this, and then it won't be play anymore. Remember play needs pointlessness to be play.

Play also contributes greatly to building relationships. Did you ever hear about the dad in Montgomery, Alabama who wanted his family to have a memorable family vacation camping out west? He created a ruse. After initiating the plans for the trip, he claimed things had gotten too busy at the office for him to go. They wanted to cancel it. He insisted they go. They argued that they wouldn't go unless he came, but in the end dad prevailed:

"He helped them plan every day of the camping trip. They would load up the family station wagon, drive to California, camp up and down the coast, then travel back home together. Each day was carefully arranged-even the highways they would travel and the places they would stop. Dad knew their whole route, the time they would reach each state-planed almost to the hour-even when they would cross the Great Divide.

"It's what he didn't tell them that made the difference.

"The father took off work (he'd planned it all along) and arranged to have himself flown to an airport near where his family would be on that particular day of the trip. He had also arranged to have someone pick him up and drive him to a place where every car on that route had to pass. With a wide grin, he sat on his sleeping bag and waited for the arrival of that familiar station wagon packed full of kids and camping gear. When he spotted the station wagon, he stood up, stepped out onto the shoulder of the road and stuck out his thumb.

"Can you visualize it?

" ‘Look! That guy looks just like . . . DAD!'

"The family assumed he was a thousand miles away, sweating over a stack of papers. It's amazing they didn't drive off into a ditch or collapse from heart failure. Can you imagine the fun they had the rest of the way? And the memories they stored away in their mental scrapbook-could they ever be forgotten?

"When later asked why he would go to all that trouble, the creative father replied, ‘Well...someday I'm going to be dead. When that happens, I want my kids and wife to say, "You know, Dad was a lot of fun." ' "

Playfulness is a gift. If you plan on being married to the same person the rest of your life, you had better learn to get playful and to learn to laugh at yourselves. Gail and I have been partners in love and marriage for over thirty years. Early on in our relationship we were pretty good at throwing down a fight. We had our moments of huffing and puffing, and trying to blow each other down. But something changed in us along the way. After about twenty years of doing life together we stopped being able to get so upset. When our discussions escalated anywhere near a conniption fit, we started breaking out into giggles over it. I guess we finally stopped taking ourselves so seriously and realized that when we were huffing, we really were full of wind.

K.C. Cole, reporting in Psychology Today writes, "All happy couples aren't alike, so there is no single litmus test for a good marriage. But if one studies couples systematically over time, it becomes apparent that many of them share a characteristic that signals, more often than not, a healthy union. It's nothing so obvious as a satisfying sexual relationship, or shared interests, or the habit of talking out disputes freely. It is, rather, a capacity for playfulness of a kind that transcends fun and reflects considerably more than the partners' ability to amuse each other. Private nicknames, shared jokes and fantasies, mock insults, make-believe fighting-all these might seem like mere silliness. In fact, they may stand in for, or lubricate, more complex transactions essential but potentially painful or even destructive."

Happy, fun-filled play jammed with laughter and silliness is a treasure. It relieves tension and balances out the difficulties we are forced to face in a fallen world. The truth is, this world is not a very happy place. There is much pain and sorrow here. Many have lost their capacity to giggle because life has been so hard-there has been too much loss. The richness of life hangs on a slender thread, and even the strongest among us can lose it in an instant.

I think God has designed play to help us keep life "abundant." Play is not a luxury; it is a necessity. It is a vital contribution to life and health. I'm suggesting that each of us should commit to recapturing play in our lives. I believe even in the midst of conflict and pain, God wants us to snag some joy and happiness.

Play Is Not Escapism

One note of warning: Make sure that you are committed to engaging in satisfying and enjoyable activities when you think of play-don't just try to escape. Escapism will help you turn off the stress but it is not re-creative; it will not prepare you to reengage in life's responsibilities. Though it's fun to watch whatever is on TV from time to time, if you consistently "pass the time" you have doing that kind of mindless thing, it will not be satisfying, nor restorative. You will have squandered time that could have been used for activities that actually regenerate and renew you. Play isn't "drifting" into "whatever" absorbs your time; it's an active choice to engage in activities that reset your emotional and spiritual meters. Play well.