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Thursday, Oct 23, 2014

7 Southern Baptist, Ecumenical Jokes That Will Have You ROFL

  • (Flickr Creative Commons/Bjarte G)
October 24, 2013|3:53 pm

Who said Christians, or Southern Baptists in particular, don't have a sense of humor? Below are 7 jokes that poke fun at Southern Baptists, other Christian denominations and faith traditions.

1. You might be Southern Baptist if…

You believe you are supposed to take a covered dish to heaven when you die.

You clapped in church last Sunday and felt guilty about it all week.

You think someone who says "amen" while the Pastor is preaching might be a charismatic.


2. A teacher asked her students to bring an item to class that represented their religious beliefs. A Catholic student brought a crucifix. A Jewish student brought a Menora. A Southern Baptist student brought a CorningWare.

3. A Southern Baptist and a Methodist crashed landed on a desert island and they are the only ones there. The Methodist got real worried and said, "I don't think they'll ever find us. We didn't have a chance to radio where we were. They'll never find us." The Baptist just looked at peace. The Methodist asked, "How are you so confident they are going to find us?" And the Baptist said, "Well, I make $400,000 a year and I'm a tither. My preacher is going to find me."

4. A Roman Catholic, a Methodist, a Presbyterian, and a Southern Baptist were all out fishing together on an ecumenical fishing trip. They got into an argument on what denomination Jesus would be. The Roman Catholic said no doubt he would be part of Mother Church. The Presbyterian said, "No, no. When you consider all that John Calvin did for the Christian faith, there is no question he would unite with the Reformed tradition." The Methodist said, "No, no, no, no. When you consider all that John and Charles Wesley did for the Christian faith, there is no question he would unite with the Methodist conviction. The Southern Baptist looked perplexed for a few minutes and said, "Boys, I don't think he's going to change."

5. A woman was doing an experiment and invited a Roman Catholic priest, a Methodist pastor, and a Baptist pastor over for dessert and served them watermelon balls infused with vodka. The Roman Catholic took one bite and smiled, and slowly and methodically ate the rest. And the Methodist took one bite and gobbled it up and asked for second. The Baptist took one bite, put the spoon down, and started putting the seeds in his pocket.

6. An Episcopalian priest, a Catholic priest, a Methodist minister and a Baptist pastor, they all went on a hunting trip together and they decided they were going to show their ecumenical trust by confessing their sins to one another. The priest says, "Well, I must tell you that once in awhile I go down in disguise and I go to the burlesque show. I just find it helps to relieve my celibacy." The Episcopalian says, "Well, I just can't help myself. I'm a miser. I just hoard money." The Methodist says, "Well, about once a month I just lock myself in my cellar and get as drunk as a skunk." And they all turn to the Baptist, and he said, "Well, ya'll my sin is gossip and I can't wait to get back from this trip."

7. There was an ecumenical blessing of a fire truck. They asked the Catholic priest, a Baptist minister, and a Jewish rabbi to come for the dedication of the volunteer firefighters' new fire truck. The Catholic put some holy water on it and blessed it. The Baptist laid hands on it and prayed for it. And the rabbi walked all around it, took out his pocket knife, and cut a quarter inch off the hose.

Source URL : http://www.christianpost.com/news/7-southern-baptist-ecumenical-jokes-that-will-have-you-rofl-107419/