- (Photograph:JohnsonPublishing/Ebony Magazine)
Bishop T.D. Jakes, pastor of The Potter's House megachurch in Dallas, Texas, recently opened up about marital advice on The Steve Harvey show.
Jakes, 55, has been married to his wife Serita for over 30 years and shares five children with her. While Jakes helped a married couple on comedian and talk show host Harvey's show, he also answered a series of questions relating to holy matrimony.
Harvey also took to his show's website to post Jakes' answers to some of the marital questions brought to the pastor, who leads 30,000 members in his congregation.
When asked about the biggest mistake that young couples make, Jakes said some couples do not take the time to really get to know one another.
"Young couples can get swept up in the euphoria of romantic love without ever realizing that love ebbs and flows through the seasons and stages of life," Jakes told Harvey. "They say their 'I dos' without ever asking the hard questions."
Jakes also spoke about factors that can cause marriages to fail.
"Sometimes individuals place unreasonably high expectations on their partners. They want their mate to 'complete them,' to be their 'best friend,' 'their everything'- which is a heavy burden to place on a partnership," Jakes told Harvey. "The only place where two halves make a whole is in geometry. Marriage requires two whole individuals to become one."
The pastor spoke about marriage requiring constant work, and used gardening as a metaphor to describe the process.
"Like a garden, marriage requires constant upkeep and maintenance," Jakes told Harvey. "Tilling the ground may be hard work in the spring, but breaking up the fallow ground allows you to get rid of the accumulating weeds and turn over old soil six to eight inches beneath the surface, so that fresh earth is allowed to come to the top to breathe which enables you to replenish the nutrients depleted in winter so that new vegetables and flowers can flourish. In the summer, only watering is required and fall is harvest time."
Jakes and his wife previously appeared on the February issue of Ebony magazine, where they shared what made their love work in particular.
"Marriage requires work and expecting the unexpected. Don't let other people design a marriage you can't live with," Jakes told Ebony. "Keep other people out your business. Every marriage is different."