"I can't live with him anymore. Even his smallest quirky habits drive me insane. He has got to change."
"She needs to stop being so emotional all the time. One minute she is happy, the next minute she's sad. I can't handle being around her."
"I really wish my husband would lose some weight. But he's too lazy to go to the gym. I wish he would change!"
Unfortunately, statements like this have become 'the norm' in modern day society. Lunch out with the girls easily turns into listing all the things they want to change about their husbands. An all-male poker night leads to the unveiling of marital dissatisfaction. Even during workplace conversations and dinner out with friends, people openly reveal what they wish their spouse would change about themselves. What is worse is that spouses even say these things to each other.
It is common for one spouse to willingly tell the other that if he/she would just stop doing this, start doing that, or do something differently, the marriage would improve. You've possibly even said this to your spouse. You probably thought, "I'm doing him a favor" or "Shouldn't she want me to find her attractive?" You assumed you were being a hero. But in reality, you were being a dictator.