Christian Bumper Stickers

This is from an old "Stier Straight" article I wrote three or so years ago. Somebody brought it up the other day and it made me smile. Maybe it will give you a giggle today.

What is it with the body of Christ and bumper stickers? Seriously - how many people do you think will be in heaven because they read some words on the back of a car and were "driven" to become Christians. And who is it that sits around and thinks up these sayings? They are like holy Hallmark cards, the perfect mixture of corny and Christian. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure the intent of taking the time to buy a Christian bumper sticker and actually placing it on the backside of your car is noble. The goal is for all to see these words and declare to all those "sinners" in our exhaust zone some kernel of Christian truth. Deep thoughts like:

"God is my copilot."

"Angels are watching over me."

"Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven!"

If God is your copilot why not try letting go of the steering wheel and taking a little nap? Shouldn't He be driving anyway? I mean He's had his license a lot longer than you and I'm sure His driving record is impeccable.

And should more than one angel have to watch over you? Should it have to be a team of angels? Are you that bad of a driver? How dare your driving distract heaven from loftier ideals than keeping you from crunching your bumper on someone elses!

My personal favorite bumper sticker is the classic "Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven!" It's like a license to drive badly. So what if you ram the car next to you? You're not perfect right? I can hear the cop conversation now:

"Son, do you know how fast you were going?"

"No. Officer."

"You were going forty miles an hour over the speed limit."

"Didn't you read my bumper sticker when you pulled me over? We Christians aren't perfect, just forgiven."

"Well, God may forgive you, but the judge is gonna make you pay."

If you are a bad driver (like I am) and you happen to be a Christian (like I am) you should probably break out the razor blade and scrape off all of your Bible bumper stickers and fish symbols (like I did). If you speed a lot or wreck a lot or talk on the cell phone while eating a cheeseburger a lot, it's time to remove all Christian quotes from your tailgate.

And if you are a really bad driver you could replace those Christian bumper stickers with ones like:

"How's my driving? Call 1-800-Mormon Church"

"Atheists rule."

"Honk if you love Buddha."

Just kidding (and if you are a Mormon, Atheist or Buddhist reading this right now…smile, God loves you! How do I know? I read it on a bumper sticker!)

When you think about it, we Christians shouldn't need bumper stickers of any kind to declare our Christianity to others. We shouldn't have to have Christian T-shirts, buttons or bumper stickers for those around us to get the message. Our lives should be so bathed in the love of Jesus Christ and power of the Holy Spirit that those we encounter should sense something supernatural. Paul put it this way to the Corinthians,

"You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts." 2 Corinthians 2:2-3

What is Paul saying? Let me give you a modern paraphrase,

"You yourselves are our bumper sticker, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody. You are a bumper sticker from God, the result of our ministry, printed not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not stuck on an actual car bumper, but on the bumper of the human heart!"

Every word you speak and everything you do is a bumper sticker. Your actions, intonations, attitudes, responses, non-verbal and verbal communication all shout something to people around us. Those who read our micro messages are either drawn closer to Christ or driven farther from him.

Be careful how you drive.