I (Hate) Love Valentine's Day: How to Rethink the Day of Love in a Whole New Way
Let's face it, Valentine's Day can be hard. Whether you're single, married, or especially if your marriage is hurting or going through a divorce, it's a day many of us do not look forward to. Many of you might even loathe the day and wonder what kind of insight we could possibly give you to get on board with or (dare I even say) love Valentine's Day.
Now, I am not here to tell you that you're wrong about your feelings; because chances are, you have every right to feel the way you do. Instead, I posit the idea that there is a way to embrace and learn to get along with the day of love in a whole new way. After all, Valentine's Day is here to stay!
Growing up, my mom made Valentine's Day extremely special for us all no matter how poor we were. Every year, she would create a bag or basket full of goodies for each of us with unique items that fit our personalities along with a sweet card. I grew up thinking Valentine's Day was a day to show love and appreciation for everyone in your life, especially your family. I know not everyone has been fortunate enough to experience that growing up, but there is a way to start fresh with cupid right here right now. How?
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1.) Love Others
As the golden rule states, treat others the way you want to be treated. Or as Matthew 22:39 (NIV) states, "…love your neighbor as yourself." Take some time to focus on others–your spouse, family, friends, teachers, etc.
Think of how to show them your love and gratitude in unique ways. Make it a family celebration even! Valentine's Day is adored in our home and we celebrate it altogether. It wasn't always that way for my husband and I; but now that we have made it such a loving, surprising, and fun atmosphere, it's become a day we much anticipate. We make each other valentines, grill steaks, make special desserts, and cuddle up for a movie or family game. And as a mom, it's also really important to me that I teach my girls to thank and honor their teachers, so it has become our little tradition to make their church teachers and volunteers small goodie bags with a thank you note.
There are many creative ways to love others. In the end, you'll see that it truly ends up adding to your happiness. In fact, one of my favorite quotes from Dr. Joe Beam is, "We have the power to be happier and make our situations better when we stop making our own happiness the center of our world."
Get an "others'-focused" perspective this Valentine's Day and see your world change.
2.) Love Yourself
Not to go back on what my first point just stated, but there really is a healthy and great way to love YOU. How? By working on those infamous PIES. We talk about PIES here at Marriage Helper all of the time. If you don't know what they are, they are simply the process of working on yourself within the following areas:
P – Physically
I – Intellectually
E – Emotionally
S – Spiritually
This Valentine's Day, pick one or two areas where you want to work on. TREAT YO SELF! Get that haircut, facial, or pedicure. Get the gym membership you have been wanting. Update your outdated wardrobe. Do something that shows you took some time on yourself physically.
When it comes to the other PIES, sign up for that conference you want to attend, or that class you have been eyeing. The possibilities are endless and nobody knows you better than yourself and God. Pray about what area(s) He would have you work on and get at it. This leads me right to my final point.
3.) Love God
For my fellow believers, there is no greater love, joy, and reward than spending quality time with the Lord. You know just as well as I do that when we spend that intimate time with Him, we grow and it directly feeds and pours into our other relationships.
One of the best things that you and I can do for our marriage and our family is to place our relationship with God as the top priority. Give Him your best and see what comes of it. So get away this Valentine's Day–take a hike and have some devotional time, go for a drive and just pray, or spend some time curled-up in your favorite spot with your prayer journal and enjoy some sweet time with your Heavenly Father.
Let one or all three of these points bring some clarity and insight this Valentine's Day. Before you know it, you'll find yourself looking forward to this day too. We love you here at Marriage Helper and hope this Valentine's Day is full of love, peace, and hope. And if you want to continue or start journaling as mentioned above, check out our prayer journal. It is tailor-made for your marriage, filled with some of our favorite scriptures along with space to write down your prayers and God's answers. It's a perfect Valentine's Day gift to gift yourself or someone you love. Click here to get your copy today!
