As David Axelrod pointed out on the day following the release of Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling on Prop. 8, President Obama still supports civil unions but opposes same-sex marriage. This makes him a homophobic bigot, according to the learned judge.

Judge Walker specifically rejected the notion that civil unions, which California’s homosexuals already have, represent any kind of acceptable substitute for gay marriage. Civil unions, in his view, relegate homosexuals to the back of society’s bus and confine them to perpetual second-class status in society. Only backwoods Neanderthals and religious right wing nutjobs still clinging to their guns and religion could possibly be so benighted.

Well, welcome to the club, Mr. President. I hereby christen you an honorary member of the politically incorrect right wing in American politics. You are now with us, a part of the vast, right-wing conspiracy. Wear your homophobic badge of honor with pride. Although Judge Walker declares you the perpetrator of a hate crime, you have all of human history on your side in rejecting homosexual marriage. We will happily share the cell of Judge Walker’s choosing with you.

By the way, we also extend honorary memberships to vice president Joe Biden, secretary of state Hillary Clinton, former Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O’Connor, and even crooner Elton John, all of whom likewise reject same-sex marriage. Getting crowded in here!