Learning to Live Without Lies
For many years of my life, I believed that I was damaged goods and could only have a second-rate life. I thought that the sexual and emotional abuse I endured as a child was somehow my fault … that it had happened because something was wrong with me. And I felt a false sense of responsibility to fix my circumstances. Of course I couldn't make that happen, so that caused more self-condemnation, and as a result, I didn't like myself very much.
I went through so much of life believing this terrible lie about myself. And that's a very easy thing to do, because when you're deceived, you don't know you are. The lies we believe become our reality because they are truth to us.
After I became a Christian, I thought that the only way God could love me was when my actions were good and spiritual. That was just another lie that had me striving to do "worthy" and "impressive" things to earn the approval of God and people. I really thought I was something special when I was on the church board and in a leadership position. I believed the lie that that is when God loved me.
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