- (Photo: Courtesy Zondervan)
New York Times bestselling author Lysa Terkeurst has identified four reaction types that are threatening to one's mental health in her latest book "Unglued." She recently took the time to speak with The Christian Post about the book's origins and how we can apply the tools to our lives.
What led to the book?
"It really is a book written out of my own personal struggle with what comes out of my mouth: emotions, words that come out and reveal what is in our hearts. I knew it was something the Lord wanted me to work through, really understanding why sometimes I explode or stuff bitter issues down. I wanted to know what was really behind all of this- started it on my blog and people really responded. When I discovered that it wasn't just me, I thought I should write a book about it. I'm a 'gut-honest girlfriend.'"
How did you identify the four reaction types?
"I looked at what happens when we are in a conflict situation, which happens we are either exposed or opposed. In that conflict, in that moment of conflict, right where we are just about to have that reaction, how do we (in that moment) have a Biblical reaction? How can we make sure it adds good conversation to the relationship? When I drew out a little chart, I realized there are four distinct reaction types.
"It's really not just so much the subject matter rather than whom we are having a conflict with. We shift the type we are based on who we are with and how much relationship equity we feel is there. For example, with my husband, I can be a stuffer in order to keep the peace, but instead I'm collecting proof to use against him. When I recognize that pattern of behavior, conflict resolution, I can ask myself if I am trying to prove that I'm right or improve the relationship? It's important to identify what type of reactor you are based upon the situation.
How can we apply the tools to our daily lives?
"If you visit www.Ungluedbook.com, there is an assessment to identify what type of reactor you are- just think of one relationship and answer the questions according to how you are in that relationship. The results are the reaction type you are in that particular relationship. It's not for the purpose of labeling ourselves but instead is [a] tool to help identify tendencies and gain understanding to make wiser choices as to more towards a Biblical relationship.
"Originally I wrote for women, but several men have said it will help them as well … not just to understand themselves but also to understand the people they are reacting with.
"Unglued" is available now. For more information, visit www.Ungluedbook.com.