Everybody has bad days and good days. For many years in my life, I had more bad days than good. I was unhappy and hard to get along with, and I had good excuses (or so I thought) to justify it.
But because I really loved God and wanted to get closer to Him, I couldn't stay this way. Thank God!
I learned that the real problem in my life wasn't what I thought it was. It seemed to me that my circumstances were the issue. But the reality was, the root of the problem was inside me – in my attitudes and perceptions of the things that were going on around me.
I had to make a decision to change the way I looked at life and have an attitude adjustment toward the circumstances I was dealing with.
No, it wasn't easy.
But it was much better getting to the root of the problem and dealing with it than focusing on outward circumstances and not changing at all. I had to change to get free!
I finally discovered the root of the problem.
I believe that many people are angry, discouraged, depressed and hopeless because they're not getting to the real root or cause of their problems. And there are different kinds of roots. One big one for me was rejection.
The rejection in my life started when I was really young. My dad abused me because he wasn't happy and had been hurt himself. You see, when people are in pain, they usually mistreat others. It didn't happen because there was something wrong with me or because I had done something wrong to him.
The pain and rejection I experienced became rooted in my soul – my mind, will and emotions – and affected the way I viewed my circumstances, causing me to believe things that weren't even true. This deception caused problems in my relationships, especially my marriage.
The root of rejection almost cost me my marriage.
In the early years of our marriage, Dave and I argued a lot. We couldn't have a peaceful conversation about anything we didn't agree about. It usually went something like this…
Me: "I can't talk to you about anything!"
Dave: "Don't tell me you can't talk to me about anything. You don't want to listen to anybody. You want to do all the talking and have me do all the listening!"
I would end up feeling so confused. And I would find myself thinking we couldn't stay married!
I came to understand that the problem was I couldn't handle Dave (or anyone else for that matter) disagreeing with me. The Lord actually spoke to my heart and said, "You are not separating who you are as a person from your opinion. So if Dave rejects your opinion, you feel like he is rejecting you."
I found the key to freedom.
Getting this revelation changed everything! The Bible says in John 8:32 that we will know truth and that truth will set us free. When I saw the truth that Dave wasn't rejecting me, I wasn't deceived by feelings of rejection and controlled by them anymore.
By the grace of God, I was determined to get out of the pit of depression and rejection. I decided that while I didn't have a great beginning in my life, I could have a great finish! And I am.
Now I know who I am in Christ. I am valuable. I have gifts and abilities that God gave me. I can't do everything, but I can do something. God created me. He has a plan for me and He loves me. I don't have to be like other people. I am ok with who I am.
We need to get to the place where our worth, value and security are not based on how others treat us. We need to see ourselves the way God sees us. When you like yourself and have peace with God, you are free to be yourself and let others have their opinions and be who they are.
Hear the truth today: God cares about you and you are valuable to Him. He loves you and will never leave you nor forsake you. As a Christian, you have a future and a hope in Christ Jesus. Make the decision to live for Him one day at a time and enjoy the freedom you'll discover in God's love.