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Chris Christie's Fat and Furious: Braking Bad

The New Jersey Governor is in full damage control mode. He conducted a two-hour press conference well; explaining that he had no idea his staffers orchestrated a traffic slowdown on the country's busiest bridge for political payback.

Thanks to political maneuvering by his predecessor, Democrat Jon Corzine, the governorship in New Jersey has immense power. And Christie is a guy you want to have on your side -- unless you are in a canoe.

Christie came up in politics as a prosecutor; those scare me the most. Think of Eliot Spitzer and Eric Holder. Christie even looks like an American League umpire who likes to argue his call with the coach.

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The bridge saga is indicative of how politics in the North work. Dirty tricks are expected. To be surprised at this would be like expecting Christie not to eat a few of your fries if he drove through McDonald's to get lunch.

It's a tale worthy of "Political Machine meets the Sopranos."

Republican politics in the North are an odd crosscurrent of agendas. New Jersey was overrun with bears, yet the legislators had this long debate about whether to allow the bears to be hunted to control their population. New Jersey would be the only state that would finally allow its citizens to hunt bears but force the bears at gunpoint to dig their own graves before shooting them.

The Christie excuse is plausible. Politicians surround themselves with sycophants who crave their bosses' attention. We all know politicians have large egos; Washington D.C. is Hollywood for ugly people - a dangerous combination. Young political operatives tend to view their craft through TV shows like Scandal, House of Cards and The Good Wife that glamorize mischievous, Machiavellian antics.

It strikes me that Christie's Deputy Chief of Staff, a preppy, pearl-wearing girl named Bridget, did not "go rogue" on the bridge trick. I feel Christie knew, or at least he tolerated an ethos where such a thing could go on. Obama is the same way, sic'ing the IRS on his political opponents. Both Obama and Christie are bullies; if you disagree, they will have you beaten up to prove they are not.

The difference between Obama and Christie is that Obama never apologizes and takes responsibility. As we know, Obama always blames others and fires no one. And the media give him a pass. O-bots in the Obama administration have long done his bidding in matters of retribution much worse than a traffic slowdown.

Yet the damage cause by slowing down traffic pales against the disingenuous political shenanigans Obama has pulled by lying about Benghazi, IRS targeting opponents, Holder only prosecuting his enemies, and now the big, premeditated whopper: ObamaCare.

There is a whole new level of sneakiness that permeates the Obama administration, and the press gives its members a pass. It has been made clear that their boss will not fire anyone who does his sleazy work for him. That tone, including the lame duck mentality, only emboldens the O-bots to do sleazy deeds for the President. The clear path to promotion and power is doing the nefarious bidding of their boss under the considerable protection of government.

The media has given more attention to this peashooter traffic glitch than they did to Benghazi, for an obvious reason: Chris Christie is the only Republican polling ahead of Hillary Clinton. The left will to stop at nothing to ensure that Bill and Hillary Clinton are the first two-impeachment family.

Does "Bridge-gate" doom Christie? Republican presidential primaries are tough; they decide who will be the party's nominee and who will end up selling reverse mortgages on TV.

I was not a huge fan of Christie before. He went after Rand Paul. He does not have the personal discipline to lose weight. How can he tell the country we need to tighten our belts when he can't tighten his? I'm afraid Christie is more interested in White Castle than the White House.

And he probably has other skeletons in his closet. They may be just chicken wing bones, but they are there. If squeaky-clean Mitt Romney proved anything, it was that the Democrat machine will savage any opponent. So maybe it is best to just lay everything out there and let it become just water under the bridge - or a bridge too far. We shall see.

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or visit www.RonaldHart.com

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