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Dying to Meet Him: Are You Really Lonely?

Dying to Meet Him: Are You Really Lonely?

Gabrielle "Elle" Devenish, a 30-year-old single Christian woman, was told by doctors that she has 6 months to a year to live.

"My heart, lungs, bones and muscles have all deteriorated beyond repair, according to doctors. My white blood cell count continues to match that of a last-stage chemo patient and my electrolytes are always on the edge."

For Elle's full Bio, click here.

Reaching Out And Up When I'm Overwhelmed Inside
Originally posted January 29, 2012

I woke up this morning, perked the coffee and took my meds, as usual, and checked some emails, before attending Central Christian online. I wasn't hungry – actually, a little nauseous, but after the service I was really tired (even though I got 8 hours of sleep last night).

I was also lonely; no one was answering their phone, my parents are in Las Vegas for the weekend together and no nurses were scheduled to come. I was just kinda bored, nauseous and overwhelmingly tired, so I sat in my chair by the window and kinda dozed in and out.

Actually, I ended up sort of sleeping (but I could hear everything) and losing all feeling in my body. Then as I struggled to rouse myself enough to get up, I had a few small convulsions and I got the vague, tingly sour feeling you get in your mouth when you are about to throw up.

Here we go again, I thought. It almost happened again. I think I sort of was in a waking coma during that 1.5 hours of "dozing."

So I finally got up and managed to heat up some oatmeal, and drank it while reading yesterday's comics. But then I got even more nauseous and just, fuzzy. I took some of my medicine, and decided to try to get my mind off the yucky feeling.

I went online and checked Facebook again, and I discovered an old classmate from high school wanted to "friend" me. She also had sent me a message.
Now this girl didn't even know I existed in high school, and was out of my league, since I was just a band geek. So I was a little surprised, but friended her and opened her message:

It read:

Hi Sara,
Well, that's how I remember you anyway. I just read your story and have to say, I had no idea what you have been going through. You have reminded me to strive to be something that I haven't always been very good at, and that is to be sensitive to the state people around me are in. I'm as guilty as anyone of getting wrapped up in my own world and I was the worst about it when we were in high school. For that I am sorry. We all learn lessons in life and wish we could go back and warn ourselves. There are many people from the class of '99 who I see now and think "wow, I should have tried to become that persons' friend". You are one of those people. Thanks you for sharing your story. And thank you for opening my eyes again.

Wow, God really showed me that I myself was beginning to get self-centered, wrapped up in my own head, thinking only of how awful I felt and how lonely I was. God really convicted me with that Facebook message, and I remembered in times of trouble, it's always good to look to God and then seek good company.

So I called many people that I've been meaning to call, read a little and kinda just lazed around.

I caught up with my Grandma, and some other friends, and my best friend from childhood. Everyone seemed so glad just to hear me. It lifted my spirits.

It's still been a quiet, boring day, but I am joyful that I was reminded of something very important. When you're looking in too much, the solution is to reach UP and OUT.

Oh Lord, I am oppressed; undertake for me. Isaiah 38:14b

Check back with CP soon for more updates on Elle's condition in "Dying to Meet Him."

Gabrielle “Elle” Devenish is a Christian Post reporter in Utah.


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