"The Late Show" host Stephen Colbert decided to give his late-night TV audience a lesson in trinitarian theology by defending priests who use fidget spinners to explain the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
"Unfortunately, the Catholic Church is faced with a crisis, and I don't have to tell you what it is," he said on his show Thursday night. "It's fidget spinners, which the Catholic Church is freaking out about. "
He explained that some priests have been using the toy to explain the mystery of the Holy Trinity but many other Catholics are condemning the example. Colbert then decided to explain the Holy Trinity for those not yet in the faith.
"For the not-yet-converted pre-Catholics out there, the Holy Trinity is a central doctrine of Catholicism that God is three persons in one being. There's the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and if I remember correctly, they're stacked on top of each other in a trench coat so they can see an R-rated movie," he humorously described. "If you're confused, first of all, welcome to Catholicism — it's a mystery."
He claimed that he believes the fidget spinner–Trinity analogy is pretty clever, "but not everyone is happy about cool priests using fidget spinners."
According to theoutline.com, Toy Adams condemned the Trinity-as-spinner analogy on a more theological basis.
"To compare the Trinity to a fidget spinner (as with the shamrock) is to commit the heresy of partialism, for it undercuts the full divinity of each person, so as to indicate that each are only one part of a three part God ... The Trinity is a glorious mystery. Let's let that be enough," Adams said.
Colbert shared some more of the charges against the spinner. He said some called the comparison heretical but the "Late Show" host shook his head at their accusations.
"This is ridiculous — it's traditional to explain the Holy Trinity with whatever's lying around," Colbert explained. "In the 4th century in Ireland, none other than St. Patrick used a shamrock to explain it — but, I mean, admittedly you've got to drink a lot of Guinness if you want to see it spin."
The 53-year-old ended the segment by stating that one may never know if comparing fidget-spinners to the Holy Trinity is right or wrong unless a "higher authority weighs in." After that cue, the show's version of "God" appeared on the ceiling, and his mock God chimed in.
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This isn't the first time Colbert has worked Jesus or the Bible into his show. During an interview with Oprah in 2015, the two went back and forth sharing their favorite Bible verses.
"So what's your favorite verse?" Oprah asked.
He replied, "Mine's from Matthew. I like it 'cause Jesus says, 'So I say to you do not worry, for who among you by worrying could change a hair on his head, or add a cubit to the span of his life?' What I like about it is that it's a commandment to not worry, and I'll go with that."
Colbert, then sounding very pastoral, told the billionaire philanthropist that he views that passage as a commandment to not worry. "So if you worry, you're being disobedient," Colbert declared.
A former Catholic school teacher, Colbert has openly admitted that he's raising his children in the faith.