Updated 04:40 pm.EST, Sat November 21, 2009

Church|Mon, Oct. 13 2008 01:44 PM EDT

How to Keep People from Quitting Church

By Lillian Kwon|Christian Post Reporter

When it comes to growing a healthy church, Pastor Larry Osborne doesn't survey the front door to see how he can attract large crowds and wow them with a special program. For the most part, his eyes are glued to the back door.

  • Larry Osborne
    (Photo: North Coast Church)
    Pastor Larry Osborne preaches at North Coast Church in Vista, Calif. In his latest book, Sticky Church, Osborne emphasizes the importance of keeping people in church over just reaching people.

That's because so many churches have been losing people, and some, without even noticing.

"As long as the front door is larger than our back door or even equal, we often think things are okay. And if the front door is larger, we’re excited that we’re growing," Osborne said as he explained how many churches lose almost as many people as they reach.

"Rather than reaching 100 people, 20 of which we keep, I'd rather reach 50 people, 40 of which we keep," he told The Christian Post.

Osborne is a senior pastor of North Coast Church in Vista, Calif. A pioneer in the multi-site movement, North Coast is widely recognized as one of the most innovative churches in the country.

And while innovation plays a key role in his ministry to the over 7,000 attendees each weekend, the long-time senior pastor is not concentrated on the newest next big thing.

His heart, instead, lies with making people stick for long-term spiritual growth. It's about keeping people by closing the back door of the church and developing what he calls a "sticky church."

"We've discovered lots of ways to reach people," Osborne writes in his new book, Sticky Church. "But we've often become so focused on reaching people that we've forgotten the importance of keeping people."

Churches have often attracted record crowds during Christmas and Easter when they typically conduct fancier services or put on special shows. Some have taken outreach to new levels by marketing special events, advertising relevant and creative sermon series, or utilizing technology.

But after the fancy lights, music and guest speaker are gone, the newcomer is likely to feel underwhelmed the following weeks and possibly slip through the back door.

And larger churches are most likely to be unaware of the back door because of the many people who come through their wide front door.

A 2006 study by LifeWay Research found that among the "formerly churched," 16 percent left because nobody contacted them and another 16 percent quit because nobody seemed to care that they left.

"When we keep people for only a short time, what we’ve done is more likely inoculate them to Christianity rather than help them get the real disease," Osborne noted. "Once someone’s been to church for a while, kind of connected and then fades out, it is really hard, outside of a major crisis in their life, to reach them again."

After all, Osborne writes in his book, Jesus didn't call churches to draw big crowds or just sign people up. "He told us to make disciples," he says.

For Osborne, it's about fulfilling the second half of the Great Commission, instead of just the first half.

While the familiar first half calls Christians to go into all the world and make disciples, the second half goes further in urging believers to teach others to observe all things Jesus taught them.

"You cannot teach people to observe all things that Jesus taught if you've got them for six months or they come at three special seasons a year," Osborne said. "As I hear in some churches, as much as one-third or more of the churches comes [to services] once a month. It's pretty hard to disciple people and finish the job." Continue »

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  • Mon Mar 09, 2009 7:44 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    wow and i thought WE ARE THE CHURCH. Ask youselves do you really want to be pushed stretched towards perfection with God. Do you really want to be taught the Word of God? Do you really want to be taght about discipline and sacriface? We do we expect the pastor to do all functions of the church and we just sit back and receive? we blame everyone else but ourselves for the state of country. we would rather be of the world than being a light. Do you want a pastor to preach the word even if it convicts you? Search your own hearts on why you attend services?

  • mike »
    Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:35 pm Agree: 1   Disagree: 0

    A 2006 study by LifeWay Research found that among the "formerly churched," 16 percent left because nobody contacted them and another 16 percent quit because nobody seemed to care that they left.

    YOU FORGOT THE OTHER REASON which is pastors add more weight on people's shoulder, put in bondage & brainwashing. result stumbling block
    I left christianity & church bec. there is nothing 'good news' about the gospel & the message the church is proclaiming. all I hear is nothing but SIN,( this endless failure = that is why god is punishing you) 'an endless list of 'things to do' before god will answer your prayer/need & did not give your 10% = blessings' message. the devastating blow is the 'addition of weight & bondage'to your suffering (suffering bec of sin). and pastor do not have 'compassion & understanding' of your situation. they always have 'something to accuse' you of & point to sin. it is funny that pastors & other believers would accuse you of sin with regards to your suffering but when you rebuke them of their sin, they will defend themselves by saying 'YE NOT JUDGE ME'! pastors/christian are not practicing christianity, they are practicing hypocrisy.

  • Thu Oct 16, 2008 2:11 pm Agree: 1   Disagree: 0

    tallguy, to answer your question on what is worship. For some it is simply God's people coming together for the purpose of praising and glorifying God through song and word. While for others it is not only that but the very way we live our Christian lives, that is living our lives in such a way that all that we do, think, or say brings glory and honor to God and is a reflection of Jesus Christ to the world. And while at times we fall short and sin either in thought, word, and/or deed, our lives do indeed do that. My personal desire is the latter with the first definition of worship being a vital part of that lifestyle. So for me personally I see worship as a lifestyle. I hope this answers your question, believer.

  • Wed Oct 15, 2008 8:30 am Agree: 1   Disagree: 0

    Unfortunately I've seen some of what you are talking about mike.I have been through two church splits in my life, and one was the result of a Minister being manipulative and dishonest.The other was over Doctrine.I have had a Pastor in the denomination I once attended call me a Mystic,which I'm sure he meant as a criticism.I think the key is to keep our focus on Christ, and obey Him, even if it means you don't always agree with what goes on in the Church.Our souls are much too valuable(Matthew 16:24-26)to let others keep us from staying on the path.

  • mike »
    Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:26 pm Agree: 1   Disagree: 1

    When people are told to be a member of a church & they 'should' follow & obey the interpretation of a pastor, pastors will stop people from quitting the church. if the people do not 'obey' they are labeled arrogant, proud, lack of faith & other means like fear, guilt, shame, & blame to keep the membership going. christ was not a member of a church. it is a tool to make the people stay & pay their 'tithe' every sunday.

  • Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:42 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 1

    Or how 'bout "on the night He was betrayed He took the bread, gave it to His diciples, and said do this in the memory of me".....

    http://www.catholicmass.org/english.html

  • Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:43 pm Agree: 1   Disagree: 0

    Seeing roberteaster on here reminded me that I was mentored by a man named Robert East, who has since gone on to be with the Lord.You don't see a lot of mentoring or shepherding going on in the Church anymore.We can't leave people out there on an island or limb by themselves without any help or direction.I am as guilty as anybody at not taking the time to help younger believers along.I am not saying this is why everyone leaves the Church, but I do think it is important to form lasting relationships within the Body of Christ.

  • Tue Oct 14, 2008 12:29 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    God gave us the formula for growing the church in the book of Acts: Act 2:42 "They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer"
    I assume that's what Pastor Osborne promotes in his congregation. As Paul instructed the Ephesian elders:
    Act 20:27, 28 "For I did not shrink from declaring to you the whole purpose of God. Be on guard for yourselves and for all the flock, among which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to shepherd the church of God which He purchased with His own blood"

  • Tue Oct 14, 2008 11:25 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    To anyone...

    define worship...

  • Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:35 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    The size of the church is immaterial.What is important is to educate God's children to go to church to give not so much to receive.Large churches need to break the church up into small weekly cell groups at home and they care for one another.If we are all taught to surrender to Christ and lay down our lives 4 one another WOW what a day of rejoicing!!!

  • Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:25 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    WE need fellowship with dig churches.the importance of small churches must not be minimised.
    the new generation will have as mission ........one house one church.
    GOD will use all his outlets to spread his incence.

  • Tue Oct 14, 2008 5:01 am Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    "We've discovered lots of ways to reach people," Osborne writes in his new book, Sticky Church. "But we've often become so focused on reaching people that we've forgotten the importance of keeping people."

    The death of Christ on the Cross is not glamorous, but it is the truth.

    Keeping people in this truth is done by making sure that this is the truth that was accepted in the first place.

  • Mon Oct 13, 2008 11:07 pm Agree: 1   Disagree: 0

    A.S., you mention all the great ways in which your church ministers to you. from the preacher's style to the attitude of the people there toward you. Have you considered the question of content? Content in the preaching, the content of the peoples' hearts as they welcome you, and the content of your own life as Jesus is actually being formed in you in all holy love so that he might raise you up to serve others. The greatness He longs to instill into our lives can only come as we give our all to Him and forget ourselves for the sake of others. Religious consumerism can produce a lot of different things, but can it produce faith?

  • Mon Oct 13, 2008 6:27 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 1

    The Churches are turning like football or professional
    wrestling shows. I attend a Church where the music is
    great, the preacher is a class one speaker, and the
    people are friendly. If Pastor is changed, and the next one is not as good as the first one, I will have second
    thoughts and will try to find another Church. Different people
    have certain priorities like...a charimastic preacher,
    music, friendly congregation, less talk about money etc.
    But a church where the believers are cared not only in
    spiritual matters, but also in other branches of life;
    that Church will be an ideal church and it will be
    more attractive to keep on attending.

  • Mon Oct 13, 2008 2:49 pm Agree: 0   Disagree: 0

    Once again true discipleship is what it's all about and it appears small groups are one of the most effective ways to do it.

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