"Big Brother" star Aaryn Gries is giving a lot of interviews now that she is outside the house and aware of how her comments during the show came across to the nation. Gries was labeled a racist and lost her job due to insensitive comments made about her African American and Chinese houseguests.
"I'm trying to show that I'm remorseful," Gries told the L.A. Times, "and I hope that comes across because I really do feel very bad. If I don't move forward, I will be stuck in this, and it will eat me alive. I can't treat this experience as a negative. I have to take it as a positive because it's made me a better person."
According to Gries, she spent the first 24 hours after the show's season finale searching the web for the footage everyone was talking about. She was caught completely off-guard by the outcry and the fact she lost her job.
"When I heard the news, it was obviously devastating," Gries told the Times.
During her exit interview with Julie Chen, Gries appeared defensive about her time in the house and blamed her remarks on "being Southern… I have said some things that have been taken completely out of context and wrong. I do not mean to ever come off racist. That is not me and I apologize to anyone I have offended for that."
"Sometimes you can say mindless things that will haunt you," Gries recently told TMZ. "Blaming Texas was the biggest mistake I made… I was in defense mode."
While still reeling from her time on "Big Brother," Gries is focused on moving forward and finding a new job. According to the Times, several modeling agencies have offered her work but she still has yet to decide what to do.
"I'm proud of myself for holding it together and being positive rather than letting this destroy me," Gries said. "It shows me how strong I am and that I can really do anything."