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Donald Trump: Citizen Vain

Ron Hart is a syndicated columnist and humorist.
Ron Hart is a syndicated columnist and humorist.

You have to hand it to Trump. He started out broke and, by pure determination and grit, built a big real estate business in New York that made his family a fortune. But enough about Frederick Trump. Let's discuss the presidential aspirations of his son, "The Donald."

Last week Donald Trump, who always looks like lemon juice was just squeezed in his face, threw his toupee in the ring for president. The announcement was made at a Trump property and was followed by a condo-flipping seminar.

His speech was good, very patriotic, with an historic perspective. He invoked our Founding Fathers, to whom he pays daily tribute by wearing a powdered wig. "The Donald" wore so much bronzer at his speech that I wasn't sure if he was announcing his run for President of the United States or of the Spokane, Washington chapter of the NAACP.

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In an outreach to the Thespian community, Trump paid actors to be in the audience to cheer for him. I feel the most sorry for them; after acting in a GOP-sponsored event, they will never work in show business again.

Trump will probably not be the Republican nominee, but he will be a disruptive sideshow that the left will eat up. As Tucker Carlson points out, the GOP historically gives its nomination in a hierarchical sequence, according to whose turn in line has come: Bush 41, Dole, Bush 43, McCain, then Romney. Most think this nomination is Jeb Bush's to lose, but Carlson points out that the country is in a non-traditional mood. If so, it bodes well for Trump, who has blue collar appeal and seems ready to cut the size of government. His protectionist trade views will not help our economy. But, as bad as he is, he would have been much better than Obama.

The other populist candidate, Chris Christie, says he is running. He might be running, but he is clearly not doing sit-ups.

Some say Trump would be weak on foreign affairs, but, to be fair, he has married most of the foreign women with whom he has had affairs. When asked about all the wars in the Middle East, he was vague. I am not sure how Trump expects to end the wars we are in if he cannot even keep Meatloaf and Gary Busey from fighting with each other on his show. I cannot wait to see whom he will name to his celebrity cabinet.

The network severed his ties with NBC after Trump made some provocative remarks about illegal immigrants from Mexico. He pointed out that the USA is the dumping ground for illegals from south of the border. They come here for our social services and jobs, and they commit crimes (80% of women crossing the border are raped).

Trump's intemperate remarks lost him his Celebrity Apprentice job. For the record, NBC fired Trump because they differ politically with him, yet "Lyin Brian" Williams and Al Sharpton remain employed there. NBC is OK with lying but is intolerant of opposing opinions. Like Brian Williams, Trump would have been fine at NBC had he stolen valor by saying he's Mexican and led the charge at the Alamo.

He feels the U.S. is used by certain other countries; this strikes a populist tone. His position seems to be that "America is becoming the laughingstock of the world." It is not clear to me how a Trump presidency would fix that situation, but voters distrust Washington and want someone who will fire half the town.

If elected, Trump must vow not to let his duties as president interfere with the staging of the Miss Universe pageant, which the NY Times will now conclude is racist and rigged. Someone from Earth wins every year: another example of Earth privilege.

Trump actually is well educated, having graduated from the Ivy League University of Pennsylvania. He has an MBA from Wharton. That is an impressive amount of intellect to have to now go to the Iowa GOP caucuses and deny evolution.

As an op-ed humorist, I love this 2016 presidential race lineup. With the lying Hillary Clinton (with her cad of a husband) leading the Democrats, and Trump now polling second among Republicans, it will be a golden time for us. Yet I wonder if our Kardashian-loving country no longer wants to lead, just be entertained.

Ron Hart is a syndicated op-ed humorist, award-winning author and TV/radio commentator. Email Ron@RonaldHart.com or visit www.RonaldHart.com

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