Gabrielle "Elle" Devenish, a 30-year-old single Christian woman, was told by doctors that she has 6 months to a year to live.
"My heart, lungs, bones and muscles have all deteriorated beyond repair, according to doctors. My white blood cell count continues to match that of a last-stage chemo patient and my electrolytes are always on the edge."
For Elle's full Bio, click here.
Meditations in the Night Watches
Written February 26, 2012
Again, I must relate to David in the Psalms as I write this entry. "I meditate on You in the night watches." (Ps. 63:6)
Lately, I've been having the worst trouble sleeping – lots of stomach pains, headaches, hot/cold spells. I don't have the flu, I just can't sleep properly!
It was frustrating at first, but then I remembered something my mom told me a while back. Every time she had a night of not sleeping well, each time she would wake up, she would pray for someone, and then she could return to sleep.
Now, I'm not saying this is an exact formula, by any means, but it does seem that every time I wake up lately, the Lord has laid someone or something on my heart. Maybe it's His way of reminding me that I'm not the only weak one in need of His strength and mercy. We all are.
I have had specific people come to mind, such as a cousin whose job is in danger or a woman who posted on this site about her son who is also terminally ill. I'm reminded of my friend who can't spend proper time with her husband (actually several friends) because of jobs, school, etc.
I am reminded of those far away; not just my aunt and uncle in Estes Park who must move YET AGAIN because of their worsening health problems, but all the spiritually blind people in upper-class societies, such as Paris or London, and all the people in Kenya who are just desperate to hear the Word of God. They may have nothing, but they can have the greatest gift of all.
All these things I think upon in the "night watches." I can very easily get caught up in myself, my struggles, my situation, with all the nurse visits and cards and people telling me they are praying for me. So I guess, in a way, God is giving me a rest at night, even though I may be awake. He is giving me a break from ME and all the attention that focuses on me during the day. He's reminding me there's a hurting world full of hurting people who need prayer just as much or even more than I do.
It's hard to describe, other than refreshing.
So here I sit, at 4 a.m. at my computer (the third time I've awoken tonight), and I praise God that He has given me this time to look outward, instead of inward, which so easily happens during the day. I don't have a strong heart, but I do have a heart that needs to be exercised. I suppose He has given me the "night watches" in order to do that.
So I pray Lord Jesus right now, not for me or for anything related to my situation. God I just want to pray for all the other broken hearts in the world right now, the desperate souls, the sleepless, the worried, the hurting. I need you so much Lord, and I know that everyone else is in the same boat, whether they know it or not. And "Because you are my help, I rejoice in the shadow of your wings." (Ps. 63:7)
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Check back with CP soon for more updates on Elle's condition in "Dying to Meet Him."