History and Overview of Religious Divorce In America; Mormons, Islam, Hinduism
The story of divorce in America is also the record of societal changes in religion or morality, economics and mobility.
Before the colonies had formed together to become the United States, abandonment was a popular way to end a marriage. "Wanted" ads for absent husbands or wives were common.
In early America, matrimonial and family concerns were ruled by the religious standards of the era. Judeo-Christian leaders adopted theological beliefs about misconduct - and sometimes punishment - for couples wanting a divorce.
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While religious leaders set the pace initially for matters pertaining to matrimony, legislators and court officials started managing marriage and divorce laws early on. The Massachusetts Bay Colony initiated, in 1629, a tribunal of judges to oversee divorce matters. They issued divorce decrees for adultery (the main reason), bigamy, abandonment and even impotence.
The colonies in the north came up with statutes for the legal handling of divorces. The mid-Atlantic colonies allowed for divorce under limited circumstances and the colonies in the south worked to ban divorce entirely, unless adultery was involved.
By the time of the revolution, the strict divorce laws were out-of-step with the countries growing dislike of tyranny. Following independence, states took over the administration for marriage dissolution and their posture was more forgiving. When federal legislators saw hearings for divorce distracted from the work of making laws, the divorce laws became a task based on each state's rules and regulations - it is a system that lasts until today.
Each state continued to follow the theological path set for it. A married woman was legally a non-being. She could not own property or operate a business. A woman's husband became the complete possessor of everything the wife had prior to matrimony or obtained after the wedding. This formed the initial basis for an early form of alimony.
Immediately after the Civil War, Americans focused their attention on divorce because the level of divorce was greater than the population's rate of growth. Society was just not ready to work on rebuilding the family-unit while it was busy reestablishing financial and bureaucratic institutions. The church turned a, temporary, blind eye to the divorce problem and divorces increased.
During the years after the Civil War, as people moved further westward, the church found time to work on developing structured communities. The need to structure society gave rise to the ethical wish for marriage to be based on proper and irreproachable behavior.
From 1885 until 1906, as the state's law making bodies started to slowly replace religion as the guiding moral force for many Americans, the country started tinkering with strict laws. The replacement of the church, as the moral base of the community, with the statehouse resulted in the divorce rate rising even more. Many people found it challenging to meet state mandated gender roles and legislated morality. Records from that period show there were no qualms in talking about private matters in court.
The country grew and divorce grew with it. While the new territory consistently has had higher divorce rates than in the East, couples in the East still divorced. Tired of the relaxing attitudes towards marriage and divorce, church leaders pushed the pendulum in the other direction. For example, in South Carolina, dissolution of marriage was completely abolished from 1879 until 1948 that resulted in a zero divorce rate.
As the pendulum continued to swing, states became different in divorce laws. Western states developed more lenient and less convoluted divorce laws as settlers were preoccupied with setting up housekeeping and homesteading as well as establishing governments.
As people moved westward, the country was starting to feel a new mobilization and this would foster divorce more. Eastern living couples would travel to states where the laws were more liberal. For people with deep enough pockets, "quickie" divorces could be found along the migration route where the resident requirements were often in months instead of years.
Religious leaders started sending correspondence to their Congressmen and Congress commissioned the first research of the topic in 1887. The fractured churches put the brakes on any time of cohesiveness in the divorce laws.
By 1900, Protestant denominations joined forces and sponsored the Conference on Divorce in 1903. The conference campaigned for tighter rules that were uniform at the national level. At the same time, many churches expanded their barring of remarriage. Parishioners didn't like this and started to defect. To avoid a drove of defection, churches reached the decision to roll back the prohibition and only requested the ministers to avoid performing remarriages.
Judges tended to vary in their private prejudice based on their religious views. This created discrepancies which moved away from the strict laws on the books that granted a divorce by a rubber stamp. In the early decades of the 20th century, religious leaders were continue to voice a desire for tighter laws.
Also in the early decades of the 20th century, a slight shift in morality occurred and divorce started to lose its disgrace. Starting to see the issue from a different angle, religious leaders suggested that matrimony should be more challenging than dissolution of a marriage.
Around 1920, religious leaders decided that maybe divorcing couples weren't morally defective after all and society's and financial challenges were more at fault. Instead of placing the blame on individuals for the destruction of the family, the religious leaders now saw growing industry, sprawling urban areas and the women's movement as the culprits. Divorce was now seen as a symptom and divorcing couples were casualties of a substandard culture. The focus changed to one trying to reform society instead of attempting to change individuals.
For the remainder of the 21st century, the direction of divorce in America can be charted as an upward spiral. Divorce rates continued to rise and reflected the patterns related to war and economic changes in society.
Today, marriage has become a civil institution and is ordered by civil contracts. The role of religion has lost the impact it had in the early days of the country.
However, the divorce system is often called "broken." Once a couple has entered the divorce pipeline, couples are more concerned in the results than the process.
Divorce laws continue to evolve. The laws in place today may, or may not, be on the books in fifty years. If a person is contemplating divorce, they should seek guidance from an experienced divorce attorney and learn what the requirements and options are in their state of residence.
For ninety percent of America's history, Judeo-Christian principles have been established and followed regarding divorce. Relatively recently, three other religions have come on to the radar of many Americans. As Americans become more aware of the Hindu, Mormon and Islam religions, a brief look at their take on divorce should be included.
Hinduism
Hinduism doesn't have the same concept of divorce like Christianity or Islam. Hindus see marriage as an important duty that includes the start of a new family and the joining together of two extended families.
The Vedic texts do recognize the possible circumstances in which a woman would be permitted to remarry or leave her husband though.
Narada says that a woman can divorce her husband if one of five conditions is present:
1. The husband has been missing for a long time, or,
2. The husband has died, or,
3. The husband converts to a different religious order or converts to another belief system, or,
4. The husband has fallen by contracting a "sinful" disease such as leprosy or is guilty of crimes including rape and incest, or,
5. The husband becomes impotent
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Divorce
Despite a strong theological and religious emphasis on the family and marriage, Latter-Day Saints, or "Mormons," can still get a civil divorce for any reason allowed by law. Mormons believe that the behaviors that often lead to marriage dissolution — adultery, neglect, or abuse — are sinful, divorce itself is not.
To complicate the issue of divorce in the Mormon Church is the practice of "temple sealing." Temple sealing is the religious ceremony that binds a couple together for "time and all eternity." If a Mormon couple wishes a divorce, then what can they do.
The Mormons have a religious ceremony called "cancellation of temple sealing" which is the church's formal process whereby the initial sealing is annulled.
The sealing of a marriage in an LDS temple is a promise that depends on the couple keeping the promises made in the temple during the sealing ceremony. These promises include keeping the commandments, treating each other with fidelity and love. If one-half of the couple chooses not to honor one of these commitments, then they have ultimate decided they don't wish to stay with their spouse for eternity. In this case, a formal cancellation of temple sealing is unnecessary.
Mormons take marriage seriously and civil divorce is never undertaken lightly. Cancellation of temple sealing's are rare but can occur with the approval of the First Presidency after the case is evaluated on its own merits.
Islam
Islam greatly disapproves of divorce. The religion has cautioned its adherents to be very careful and has prescribed out the steps that should be taken for reconciliation in the event of a dispute. Islam has also spelled out the precise procedures of divorce should it become inevitable.
The basic idea is that divorce in Islam is permitted on just one occasion. Many Muslims, however, are unaware of the teachings of Islam. Islam leaders feel that because of the moral and social corruption prevalent, many people use divorce wrongly and feel repentant afterwards.
Others who have seen improper procedures followed often ridicule the Islamic sharia laws.
When a husband decides to give his wife a divorce, Islam encourages him to adopt the Shariah method and suggests he reduce his decision to writing.
The correct procedure for divorce is detailed and complex, but can roughly be broken down into six points:
1. Divorce is to be given only when the wife is in a "state of purity." Only after she has had her menstrual period can the husband divorce her. Divorce during the wife's menstrual period is forbidden in the hadith on the basis that she is not attractive to her husband during the menstrual period. Her husband may be attracted to her in her "state of cleanliness" and give up the idea of divorce.
2. Only one divorce can be granted. They husband may say to his spouse, "I divorce you" and he shouldn't quantify the divorce.
3. Divorce is to be given in the presence of two witnesses.
4. Following the divorce, the woman has to do her term of waiting, or Iddat. During her Iddat, the woman cannot re-marry and her husband must maintain her during her Iddat.
5. During the Iddat, a husband can take his wife back to be his spouse. To complete the revocation of divorce, two men are called as witnesses.
6. If the husband has not returned to his wife, or revoked the divorce, then once Iddat is over, he would have to leave the marital home. Once the Iddat is over, the man no longer has rights to his wife and he has lost the right of revocation. If he wants her again as his wife, there are procedures spelled out. But, the wife has to be willing to marry him again.
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