- (Photo: Matt Moore)
Less than two years ago Matt Moore's life was completely transformed when he put his faith in Jesus Christ. Having indulged himself for years in heavy drinking and a homosexual lifestyle, his life changed drastically when he realized he needed to submit to God and His view of homosexuality according to the Bible. Today, Moore is using his testimony to reach out to others and show them how God is powerful enough to save anyone in the midst of their struggles with all types of sin.
Moore's recent blog post on CP Blogs titled, "My Story: Homosexuality, Drunkenness, Grace and Redemption," has been wildly popular and has led many people to express their appreciation for his honesty about something that is certainly difficult for him to discuss.
In the blog post he says that he wants to "turn the emotion 'switch' off" at times because it is hard to write from the heart about his painful past. But he told The Christian Post on Tuesday that he fights against doing so in order to maintain his "relatability."
"I don't think putting on a front of perfection helps anybody. It just deceives people. And God already knows me better than I do as I am and, in my opinion, in order to glorify Him as much as possible, I need to portray myself to the world as I am," Moore told CP.
Moore's story of redemption is profound. Though he was never molested, he says he was "inappropriately exposed" to pornography and sexuality at a young age.
"From my experience in talking now to people who are either confused about their sexuality or repenting of homosexuality, 99.9 percent of the ones that I've talked to were sexually violated, molested or exposed to pornography at the young age of four- to seven-years-old," he said.
Moore's parents divorced when he was young, and his mother went on to pursue a romantic relationship with another woman. He would go to church on Sundays with his father and stepmother, but the message never really took hold of him.
"I went to church a lot with my dad and my step mom from the time that I was six years old until about 16, and it was just something that we did, and that was it. We just went to church on Sunday. There were never any...discussions in my house about God or having a relationship with Him. So that's how I viewed church, as just something that we had to do as an obligation," he said.
Over time he began to develop feelings toward other boys, and while he was in high school tried to hide those feelings from his friends. Hiding his true feelings, he told CP, only made them stronger.
Immediately after seeking out his first homosexual encounter at the age of 16, Moore prayed to God that he would be made straight, but not because he wanted to be closer to God, but because he knew homosexuality was unacceptable in the culture he lived in.
"Everyone else was biblical-minded toward homosexuality because of the church and the Bible's teaching," he said. "They didn't act it out in the biblical way. They showed hatred and ridicule towards homosexuals and people who had homosexual feelings. So, for that reason, that did add to me wanting to keep it secret. If I grew up in a different part of the country – in the West or in the North – I may have come out about it a lot sooner, but being in the South it did add to it."
When he entered college, Moore became a heavy drinker and was active in the party scene, and he took both habits with him when he flunked-out of school.
"My drinking actually got worse whenever I came out and was accepted by everyone about...my homosexuality," said Moore.
For much of his life Moore also was obsessive over people. In high school he was obsessed with friends who he developed feelings for. In college and afterward it was for the men he "hooked-up" with, though they never reciprocated those feelings back to him.
"Now I see that God put that inside of me, that desire...to be just completely consumed with another person, that was for Him," said Moore. "That was for Jesus Christ. And only he loved me in a way that he could reciprocate those feelings toward me. He had those feelings toward me before I ever had those feelings toward him."
Eventually, though, Moore would learn to love God and began to seek Him. Moore's blog post says he finally sought God, and this time not merely as a solution to his homosexuality. He told CP that it is idolatry to simply seek out a "sexual conversion," and churches need to understand this point.
"I think that their call out to homosexuals is, 'Come to Jesus and he'll make you straight,' whereas the Bible doesn't promise that...The Bible doesn't promise that our temptations will end. Actually, it promises that temptations shall surely come...With some people it's heterosexual lust, with some people it's anger, with some people it's homosexual desires," said Moore.
He was criticized by his former friends when he revealed to them his newly discovered belief that homosexuality is a sin. He doesn't want to sound condemning, but emphasizes that those who believe they can be both gay and Christian "don't really believe in the Jesus Christ of the Bible," because the Bible is "black and white" on the issue of homosexuality. He added that he does know of some Christians, however, who practiced homosexuality for months before they were finally convicted of their sin and turned away from that lifestyle.
Moore says his homosexual desires are still present but have diminished as he has pursued God. He lives in Shreeveport, La. and is currently searching for a home church. He hopes that his search will be cut short, however, because he has applied for a 14-month internship at Mars Hill Church in Seattle that would begin in August if he is accepted.