My life would suck without _____________.
How would you fill in this blank? My boyfriend/girlfriend? My clothes? My sweet ride? My iPod? Taco Bell? Sports? Theater?
I guess there are probably dozens of things you could put in that blank, and don’t you find it interesting that Kelly Clarkson puts in the word “you.”
You…who? Well if the video is any indication, it’s a dude who likes to chase his keys around an apartment and chuck stuff out the window. It is also a guy who inspired these lyrics:
Being with you
Is so dysfunctional
I really shouldn't miss you
But I can’t let you go
'Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
Honestly - for me anyway, at first I simply did not get this song. By the title you would think it’s about the common feeling when two people are in love of a dependence and unique fulfillment that only he or she could bring. But then you dive into the words and you discover that there is a self-admitted love/hate thing going on here. Heck - Kelly was even willing to brutally murder the poor guy’s goldfish.
So here you have an interesting dilemma. We belong together, but when we are together it is ‘so dysfunctional,’ and she shouldn’t miss him, yet she can’t let him go.
I’m thinking the more accurate title of this song should be:
“My Schizophrenic/Codependent Life Would Suck Without You.”
At any rate, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am in a relationship like this as well. Except this “friendship” if you will is with myself - or rather, I should say my old self.
Who is my “old self”? It’s me before I entered into a relationship with Jesus Christ. The Bible describes it this way:
We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ, we were set free from the power of sin (Romans 6:6-7).
Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes (Ephesians 4:21-23).
This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun! (2 Corinthians 5:17)
Are you getting the picture here? When you trusted Christ, God made you into a new person. You now have the power through the Holy Spirit to defeat your old self that corrupted your mind and blinded you to destructive choices, but the problem is that we still think we “belong together - forever united.”
So this is a key truth about the Christian life that the Apostle Paul described this way:
And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
I have discovered this principle of life - that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? (Romans 7:18-24).
In other words, we think our lives would ‘suck’ without our old sin nature, but in reality, it is our old self that brings the suckitude into our lives in the first place. Yes - Christians are the ones in the most dysfunctional/schizophrenic/codependent relationship…with themselves!
But there is an answer, and it starts with a mindset of victory. You have the same power living inside you that raised Jesus Christ from the dead, so use the incredible strength of the Holy Spirit to make a daily break from your old sin nature. Start each day with a daily declaration of dependence - which is admitting you are powerless to defeat the self-destructive nature that resides in your heart and depending on God to help you choose the amazing and fulfilling plan He has laid out for you.
I promise you, your life will NOT ‘suck’ without your old self, so let go and let God show you how great life is when you choose Him.
Flashpoint: Ignite Into Action
Ask your friends about this song and why they think it is so popular. Perhaps because there are so many people in dysfunctional and codependent relationships? Talk about your own struggles as a Christian, and how you are able to find freedom from bad decisions through a relationship with Christ.
Accelerant: Feed the Fire
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1).
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want (Galatians 5:16-17).
Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires (Romans 8:5).
Lane Palmer serves as a writer for Dare 2 Share Ministries (D2S) in Arvada, Colorado, a ministry committed to energizing and equipping teenagers to know, live, share and own their faith in Jesus. For more information about D2S, please visit www.dare2share.org.