Comedian and TV host Bill Maher left his target audience in riotous laughter in a recent rant on his show in which he cursed God, the Bible, the story of Noah and the "stupid" Americans who take Scripture literally.
"No one can blame me when I say this is a stupid country. When 60 percent of the adults in it think the Noah's Ark story is literally true. Which is why I'm already sick of the ads for this floating piece of giraffe crap," said Maher on the "New Rules" segment of his show posted to YouTube Friday.
Maher then goes on to critique the Noah movie expected in theaters March 28, challenging the credibility of the story in mocking tones and ripping Christians for arguing over the storyline of the silver screen adaptation.
"Although, the movie has been condemned by both Christians and Muslims, so it must be doing something right. And they say it may lose a fortune for the studio, which would put it in hot water with the Jews, too," he said.
"You believe a man, Noah, lived to be 900 years old, that's what the Bible said; and when he was 500, he decided to have three kids just like Clint Eastwood."
Maher continued, "And when he was 600, he and his three 100-year-old sons built a boat unto which, in one day, they loaded over 3 million animals, all of which were apparently indigenous to within five miles of the boat."
"But get this, what the Christians who are now protesting this movie are upset about is that it doesn't take the biblical story literally enough. They're mad because this made-up story doesn't stay true to their made-up story," he quipped.
Maher, however, didn't stop at Christians and the movie. He ripped right into God.
"The thing that's really disturbing about Noah isn't the silly, it's that it's immoral. It's about a psychotic mass murderer who gets away with it and his name is God. Genesis says God was so angry with Himself for screwing up when he made mankind so flawed that he sent the flood to kill everyone. Men, women, children, babies, what kind of tyrant punishes everyone just to get back at the few he's mad at? I mean besides Chris Christie," he said.
"Hey God, you know you're kind of a d**k when you're in a movie with Russell Crowe and you're the one with anger issues," he noted.
The comedian then tried making the case for why people should not get their moral direction from the Bible.
"You know conservatives are always going on about how Americans are losing their values and their morality. Well maybe it's because you worship a guy who drowns babies," he said.
"And then God's genius plan after he kills everyone is to repopulate the world with a new crop of the same a**h**es who p***ed him off the first time with predictable results. He kills millions more. If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. Why are we getting our morals out of this book? Why are people following any of it?" he asked.