There is a tremendous hunger among young people for the message Exodus International preaches – that freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ is possible, according to the ministry's head.
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(Photo: Exodus International / Caryn Davis)Hundreds attend Exodus International's 2007 Freedom Conference, an annual event that draws people who are impacted by homosexuality, at Concordia University in Irvine, Calif. This year, the event is taking place in Asheville, N.C.
Exodus International, which claims to be the world's largest Christian referral and information network dealing with homosexual issues, is holding its annual Freedom Conference in Asheville, N.C., beginning Tuesday. For 33 years, Exodus has seen thousands of people seek answers at its conference as they, or loved ones, struggle with same-sex feelings.
Over 700 people, including many from outside the United States, are expected to attend this year's Freedom event. Part of this year's speaker line-up is evangelist Anne Graham Lotz, daughter of Billy Graham.
"We are always trying to bring in respected Christian leaders to our conference," commented Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International, to The Christian Post. "It's also a chance to introduce them to an often overlooked ministry group-people who struggle with unwanted same-sex attraction."
The ministry's annual conference caters to a wide range of groups, from men and women, youth and parents, to married couples where a spouse has homosexual attraction. Forty percent of this year's conference attendees are men and women personally struggling and 14 percent are youths.
And this year's event comes just months after the California high court ruling that legalized same-sex "marriage," and months before California voters head to the polls in November to decide whether to overturn the court decision and protect traditional marriage.
"While the culture wars over the issue of homosexuality are hotter than ever with the marriage issue, Exodus is growing and more people are seeking help," Chambers said.
The Exodus International network has grown by 71 percent in five years, Chambers noted. The ministry has over 120 local ministries in the country and Canada is also linked with other Exodus world regions outside of North America, totaling over 150 ministries in 17 countries, according to the Exodus Web site.
But with growth, Exodus continues to meet protesters especially around this time of year when it holds its Freedom Conference. A group of local gay rights advocates, who are calling themselves Equality Asheville, plan to sponsor a series of events titled "You're Fine Just the Way You Are," according to Asheville's Citizen-Times.
Noel Nickel, who's organizing the competing events, wants to give people the "whole spectrum."
“I think (Exodus’) intentions are harmful, because it’s cloaked in the message of love,” Nickel said, as reported by the local newspaper. “We’re trying to make sure that there is a full spectrum of educational aspects."
Jaye Thomas, who turned away from homosexuality with support from Exodus, acknowledged that Exodus "is no stranger to opposition."
"But neither was Jesus," he said. "Exodus is not in the business of converting anyone. We just offer a hand to walk beside people who want freedom from the bondage of sexual addiction.”
Many have found "freedom" from homosexual feelings through Exodus. But in addition to serving those personally struggling, Exodus has also helped family members and pastors learn how to love their loved ones or congregants who are struggling with gay or lesbian attraction.
"There is a right to choose one’s passage in life," Chambers, who left homosexuality more than 14 years ago, told the Citizen-Times. "I didn’t choose those feelings [of same-sex attraction], but when I was old enough, I did choose my behavior."
This year's Freedom Conference on July 15-20 is themed "A New Day" and 41 percent of conference participants are reportedly attending for the first time.
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mike2685, thanks for responding and we'll talk soon and have a great Lord's Day tomorrow, believer
Let's be honest, there are some people you can just tell, ya know? However, I have never asked a guy out without first checking with people around him to see if he is gay. There are some guys who may be questioning their sexual orientation who would take offense to being asked out because they're still in denial, it used to happen with me, ha.
mike2685, a lot of the questions I'm asking are simply my curiousity so please forgive me if I inadvertently offend you. You said you would never come on to a man unless he was homosexual, do you believe you can tell this by simply seeing a man that he is or is not homosexual? If, so can you explain how?
I had posted before but for whatever reason it was deleted. I would never come on to a man I knew to be straight, but sure, I could find him attractive and even be turned on by him, just as I'm sure you could find other women attractive and maybe even be turned on by them despite the fact that they're off limits to you.
mike2685, I know this might sound weird, but are your experiences of being turned on as you put it by the Baywatch guy normal for a homosexual male? I've heard there are some who say a homosexual can tell who is and who isn't a homosexual and therefore would only choose to come on to another homosexual, but it appears you're saying they may not be so?
Believer, at the time I knew that I would get sexually excited by the guy I saw on Baywatch, and no, I have never had that sort of infatuation for a girl. When I dated girls, I was fooling myself, when i dated guys, it was like a light when on and i realized "Aha! This is what was missing"
Mike2685, you never had that same infatuation with a girl as a little boy? I mean you didn't see a girl who you thought was cute and you'd like to get to know? Plus was your infatuation for the Baywatch guy sexual?
My first boyfriend who I was completely smitten with had just moved out to California and my heart was broken, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep...really only wanted to listen to sappy love songs and cry. That week I was going on a mission trip with my church youth group. The first night we were there, we had mass as a group on the beach, and during the homily the priest was talking about how Jesus wants us to come to him in the Eucharist. He was giving examples of how Jesus knows our hearts, and he said "I don't know, maybe your best friend just moved across the country and you're worried you'll never see them again...Jesus understands, and he loves you." This priest knew nothing of my situation, at that moment, I knew without a doubt that Jesus was speaking through him directly to me. I have never, in all my life, felt so incredibly close to Jesus, and to this day it blows me away that he was in the room with me, talking to me and telling me to bring my pain to him.
believer, I think that is evidence that you were turned on by what you saw at such a young age, even though you didn't truly understand it. Like I said when I was 9, I didn't know what being gay was, but I knew I got "excited" when the male lifeguard came on Baywatch. I don't think it was a "lifestyle I adopted" but rather an orientation I was born with.
I was baptized into the Catholic Church as an infant, which is customary. My parents sent me to Catholic school starting in 2nd grade and we went to Church every sunday. I didn't truly find my faith until my junior year of high school when a friend asked me to go on a weekend retreat called Emmaus, and it changed my life. For the first time I saw people who weren't praying the regular, every Sunday Catholic prayers, but rather they were talking to Jesus like he was a friend who invited them out for coffee, and that blew me away. That weekend the way I prayed and the relationship I had with Jesus grew monumentally. Of course, I still had doubts every now and then, but my senior year Jesus proved to me he is real (continued...)
mike2685, you've shared some of your sexual journey with us and I appreciate your willingness to do that, but I was wondering if you'd be willing to share how you became a Christian with us, thanks believer
mike2685, when I was in the 3rd grade I by accident found my Dad's porn books and they were hardcore porn at that. I had no clue what I was looking at, heck I never knew what a period was until the 7th grade, but even at 8 years old I liked what I saw and I would take every opportunity I could to go back and look even though I honestly did not know what I was looking at. I believe our sexual development goes on when we are very young and we don't even know it. We do a lot of things in life as kids and don't understand that it is impacting our development toward adulthood to include our sexual identity. You may not have known you were going to become or that you were a homosexual, but you were making decisions that led you to adopt that lifestyle, the same way I did not know I would have a problem with porn and by some standards may even be considered a porn addict, but I did make decisions that led to that and can still cause me problems if I don't stay away from it.
I knew a woman who loved a man who was married. She stopped the relationship before it got further out of hand.
I know a woman who thought herself lesbian. She no longer believes this and is happily married - she is my wife.
Just because we think something is, does not make it so. Just because something seems like it will never change does not mean it will stay the same. Just because someone loves does not mean it should be pursued.
Mike
paul said that a celilbate person can do more for Christ than any other person. Maybe you are the way you are, so you can be used by God in a way no committed man could.
mike
next question is this before or after you found out men dated men?
So living celibately, which is unnatural and quite frankly unhealthy, is God's plan for me? I'm glad the merciful and loving God created me to live a miserable life.
I'm attracted to quite a few things...still, I don't persue them. It is quite natural to have many attractions. Many of them are inborn traits. We all know this from personal experience.
Here's the problem: the nature we are born with is not Gods nature-it is the sin nature. Our sinful nature, present in all of us, pulls us away from Godliness in the path of least resistance. For some it is greed. For some it is violence. For some it is power. For some it is some form of sexual 'devience' which in the Biblical case is any form of sexual behavior that is not in line with God's design. (I live in the mountains of the Carolinas and I can tell you there is all kinds of 'devience' that is not homosexual.)
This is the basis of the points I've been trying to make. There are as many 'natural' ways to deviate from God's plan as there are people. There is only one way to be Godly and that is HIS way.
If He hadn't spelled out His plan in the Bible I might has well have just deep 6'ed life all together as being clueless. It is only by dying to self (aka what is natural) and living for Him that brings Godliness into one's life.
James, my earliest recollection was being about 4th grade, about when puberty was starting to happen, and feeling absolutely smitten for one of the (male) lifeguards on Baywatch (PS, I just embarrassed myself, haha!) That being said, I didn't realize I was what you would call gay, I thought it was what every boy felt for some reason. In highschool, I did date girls, but the true feelings that I felt when i thought about dating a guy (butterflies, picturing a future together, etc.) just weren't there with girls.
mike
at what point in life did you feel attracted to men.
believer, how could I choose to be gay before I knew what being gay was?
mike2685, you assume because you are sexually attracted to males alone you were born homosexual from a predetermined view. What I wonder is it possible to be born with a predisposition toward homosexuality. If the latter is true that would mean that you still have to choose to adopt that lifestyle. Which means that if as a young boy your were led to believe that your were homosexual you in essence were given permission to buy into the predisposition you were born with. And the younger a person believes he/she is a homosexual the more difficult to fight that predisposition.
God chose Mary because of her faithfulness and her heart and found favor in her because of that. the bible clearly says to pray in Jesus name and that the Holy spirit intercedes on your behalf relentlessly without stopping. Christ was the last High Priest and God tore the veil in two so that we could have a direct relationship with him through Christ. It is the Spirit that convicts us and scripture that shows us how to change. The catholic Priest can not judge one sin greater than the other for all are equal, therefor he can not justify one hail Mary to ten hail Marys based on judgement. For all sin is equal and took the death of Christ to be forgiven.
I have to be honest, I didn't follow your question whatsoever :)
mike2685, you said sexual attraction is an inborn trait as opposed to a learned trait. But I wonder if that would depend on the age of the person when he/she decided they were either heterosexual or homosexual. It seems that the younger a person is when they make this determination would have an earlier impact on one's sexual attraction and if sexual attraction is a predisposed concept then if one is being led to believe they are homosexual the tendency to move in that direction is even easier. But because it is a predisposed as opposed to predetermined trait a person still has to choose to buy into that lifestyle. What do you think?
believer, were you talking about the posts with gender assumptions and enforcing stereotypes? I think they were interesting, however, I was acting more feminine before anyone ever made fun of me and called me a f**. I was feeling like there was something different long before I had any idea that men dated men, but once I found out, I knew that I shared that attraction. While I think many people could say "Oh, you got made fun of in middle school" I don't think sexual attraction is just something you can make up, and that's because I did date a few girls in high school, one for 11 months were there was a bit more than making out going on. The thing is, in the back of my mind I knew I was fooling myself and just trying to go through the motions. The attraction wasn't there, and I really do think that if I continued to pursue women, at some point in my marriage I would wake up with no attraction or intimacy, and that wouldn't be fair to either partner.
To a degree, I think people telling you that you're gay could make you think "OK, yea, I must be gay then," but I don't think the attraction would be true. You might experiment with another guy, but I know plenty of guys, and girls for that matter, who admit to kissing or doing more with a same sex friend and are completely straight because there just wasn't anything there.
To clear up some things about Catholicism (I went 2nd grade through college in Catholic schools, but I don't have all the answers, so this is my best attempt:) Mary was viewed as being without sin because God needed someone so pure to birth his only Son. Mary is believed to be without sin, but we never pray to her to ask for forgiveness. I'm not sure where the idea of laughing at asking Jesus to forgive our sins came from, Reconciliation is a fundamental sacrament tied into receiving the Eucharist at Mass. In Reconciliation, you confess to Jesus through the priest who is acting "In persona Christi" or "In the person of Christ." Its basically so that someone who is your leader in the footsteps of Christ can be there and help you pray for forgiveness.
Catholics DO NOT worship the saints. We elevate people to sainthood only after very stringent rules, such as having (I think) 2 miracles performed in their presence, like a miraculous healing or the Virgin Mother appearing. When we pray the rosary, we are asking Mary to pray for us as sinners and to intercede as the Mother of Jesus. We believe she does this as she was able to convince him to perform his first miracle (turning water into wine at the wedding.)
When we have the Eucharist, we believe we are receiving Christ fully present (not that we are actually eating his skin, but that the Holy Spirit is there in the meal.) It is done as Jesus instructed "Do this in memory of me."
I hope I shed a little light on the subject, feel free to ask questions. Again, I have been through a lot of Catholic school, but still have many questions myself.
The Catholic faith is a bit of a paradox when you discuss it with them. I know people raised Catholic and they were taught to and laughed at the concept of Christianity where you asked Jesus for forgiveness. Yet they rely on His death for the forgiveness. They elevate Mary to the Holy Mother. They worship humans as Saints.
I do not find any of these concepts in the Bible. Mary was the product of 2 humans (mom and dad). Jesus was the product of the Holy Spirit. This makes Jesus different from any other human including Mary.
As to the point, I think putting humans (like Mary) in the position of being able to forgive sins makes man appear less 'totally depraved' then the Bible states. It brings comfort that we really aren't that bad.
This is the basis of much in the religion of christianity to day. I understand there are even Baptists and Presbyterians preaching there is no hell. The question of Mary may be one of the first examples of revisionist theology.
james, you're speaking to a former Catholic and to be honest the issue of why Mary could not die for our sins was not discussed and even though there is no biblical record of her ascending into heaven, Catholics are taught that she did.
Then how do they reconcile that it took a sinnless person to die for them, for if Mary was sinless God would not to have sent his Son to die. She could have died for us, or God would have had his answer then, that Mary is the only one worthy of being with Him. To be born without sin is to say Mary is God, because all humans are born into sin. Second were in the bible is Mary ascended to heaven, if she had no sin she would not die, for it is sin that causes death.
wb and james, that Mary like the rest of us was a sinner is not taught by the Catholics, so Christ would not have died for her sins since she had no sin.
James Reynolds
"Why do you think Catholics pray and ask forgiveness to Mary, for she was human just like us and had sin in her. Christ had to die for his mother just as well."
excellent question!
DP
I agree all sin is equal at the foot of the cross. Question for you? Why do you think Catholics pray and ask forgiveness to Mary, for she was human just like us and had sin in her. Christ had to die for his mother just as well.
Mike
Homosexuality has been considered sin since Christianity started, and even before Christ came. Only in recent times has this been questioned. The earliest of churches knew what Paul meant in 1 Cor. I would tend to think that the people closest to the time of Paul and heard his teaching would have a better grasp of what that meant. If you have proof that the earliest churches did not view it as sin, I would be interested in seeing it. Thanks
"homosexuality is not a grave sin."
Hi, Mike! It's an interesting perspective. We as mankind like to view our sins as 'non-grave' and others sins we greatly disagree with as 'grave'. Still, the point of the gospel is that every sin, no matter how 'grave' put Jesus in the grave. That's the bottom line. In the eyes of God homosexuality is just as bad as murder, shoplifting a 10 cent piece of candy or cheating on taxes. It required Jesus going to the grave for it.
mike2685, talk to my response I shared with you yesterday as I'm curious to hear your thoughts, thanks believer
John, homosexuality is not a grave sin. Killing people is a grave sin, molesting children is a grave sin...the fact that homosexuality is a sin I wouldn't call sound doctrine, seeing as how much controversy there is even within religious communities. Please get off your high horse.
God is using this issue to separate the sheep from the goats, the faithful from those with itching ears who refuse to hear sound doctrine.
Everyone who hears the word of God, knows that homosexuality is a grave sin, and will seek a way out of such a repellent and self-destructive lifestyle.
ifeelfine, it is not the literal interpretation of the Bible that gets you all those things, it is when people take the verses out of context that you can come to those conclusions. And please don't insinuate that the only people who do this are those of us who believe that the Bible in it's original autographs is the God-breathed, inerrant, plenary Word of God.
Daniel Paul - you're making the assumption that your hermeneutic is correct. To make an analogy just this morning I heard someone making incredibly racist statements (using the N-word - the whole bit) and he was using the Bible to justify those statements. He was reading right from the Bible and it certainly sounded like God was against black people etc - obviously we all know that isn't the case but he made a pretty strong case. To me, that is what a literal interpretation of the Bible gets you - racism, bigotry, misogyny, etc. You have to read into the Bible to see God's love - it really is a beatiful book and a wonderful story but when you take those snipplets - it makes God look pretty bigotted. . . just my humble opinion. God bless.
mike
"Now that I am with my partner, the love and emotional attachments we have for one another is better than any kind of sex we could have, and if we do share sexual intimacy, it feels beautiful, loving, caring, not just a rush get off and go home (I apologize if that came across as crude.)
"
Mike I have to wonder why you do not feel filthy after having sex with your parnter even though you are not be promiscuis, because rather you are or not you are still sinning for you are having pre-marrital sex which is sinful. You should still feel filthy, or satan is using your feelings to justify what you are doing. The question to ponder is why that filthtyness feeling left even in the event you think homosexuality isn't sinful. Maybe you are not truly hearing what God wants you to hear because you already justified it. I read your views on Exodus international on how you don't feel it is current to this cultures thinking. Just a thought, but what if God wants you to come to grips with your sin to start a ministry of your own to help out men in this sinful desire based on your experience and triumph. The main guy at Exodus is relevent to his time and experience, you maybe relevent to your time. Just as God said to queen Ester you your made for such a time as this. remember she went through many things she did not want to go through, but she was the right person at the right time with the right experiences.
Mike & ifeelfine72. A couple of things. First the Bible says we don't live by our feelings but through the knowledge of our Lord. Second, the Spririt does not contradict himself. He would not confirm in I Cor that sodomy is wrong only to tell you otherwise. If that could be then there would be no reason to even read the Bible now would there?
Also, all mankind is predisposed to sin...whichever sin is attractive to us. As Christians know their Lord better they become more attracted to Him and less attracted to sin. This is why Romans 12 says to be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
"2) the attitude of Daniel Paul is one of arrogance and pride about ministry methods, and 3) Daniel Paul and you complaining about it I believe is wrong."
Sorry you feel that way. If people have the right to post their opinion and we shouldn't call people on it like I did igh...then your own post concerning me condemns you for you are doing the exact same thing you accuse me of doing wrong. Should be then be agressive towards sinners and passive to other Christians? NO! We should be assertive towards sin.
He who has an ear....
also, "spamming his stuff doesn't shut down dialogue and the percent of memory space it takes up in the memory of CP's computers is extremely small to the point of being close to zero."
Apparently you were not around when pages of posts were falling off the end of threads. The system was wiping out pages of posts so YES, when igh would post 4 or more full length posts of just Bible verses it WAS causing a problem! It would have been helpful if you had asked instead of passing judgement.
I donâ
Another assumption you make is that you will always feel as you do now. You will always feel, think, and desire as you do now. But, my friend Mike (I know I donâ
Mike2685, you pose some very, very good questions in your recent comments. I do feel compelled to share my thoughts in hopes of encouraging you. I had actually planned not to comment anymore on this site just because of the undercurrent of hostility evident (even between brothers/sisters) in some of the previous comments. Didnâ
mike2685, in the Air Force I taught classes in race relations. We used the movie, "The Eye Of The Storm" to teach how quickly we can develop prejudices. It was a documentary about a teacher who wanted to teach her 3rd or 4th graders what prejudice was. She came in one morning and told the students that research had shown that people with brown eyes were in my own words losers and in a matter of minutes the other kids started treating the brown-eyed kids as second class citizens and worse of all the brown-eyed kids bought the lie and began to believe they were slower and not as smart as the others and so on. The next morning the teacher came in and said she had misread the study and it was just the opposite the brown-eyed kids were not the losers, but they were the winners. And in a matter of minutes they saw themselves as just that and the other kids began to see themselves as losers. Children tend to be concrete thinkers and if an adult and most especially a trusted adult tells them something about themselves they tend to believe it and begin to take on those characteristics, beliefs, and feelings that go with whatever they were told by that adult. And if adults, peers, and society enforce or reinforce that truth it will be difficult if not almost impossible for the child not to buy into it and it will be very difficult to turn that around. I'm not saying that's what happended to you Mike, but hopefully it is certainly something worth thinking about.
mike2685, that drives me nuts when I hear a story like yours. My wife grew up in a home where she had two older brothers. In her bathroom was a Bible, Popular Mechanics, and some car magazine. Her dream for a while was to be either a jockey, she was only 5 feet tall and weighed around 100-105 for most of her teen and adult life, or a drag racer. She loved being outdoors and had a mountain behind her house she climbed several times a week. In fact when we were being considered as Home Missionaries one of the evaluators was concerned she scored so high of the masculine side of a test we were given. In the 50s and 60s when we grew up that was no big deal, but in this day and age many would ask or wonder if she might be predisposed to being a homosexual. That's why I wonder if because of your so-called feminine behaviors, as many in our society would call them, led others to believe as well as yourself to believe that you were predisposed to be a homosexual and as a result you bought into it early on and adopted all the thinkings and feelings that go along with being a homosexual. I want to share on a second post the rest.
Believer, your experiences, to me, lend some evidence that sexual orientation is not a choice. By all means, you "should" have been the poster child for homosexuality if you're looking at it from a nurture perspective. I, on the other hand, had what I would call an excellent childhood. Both parents were home plenty, they got me involved with sports, we had very close relationships with all of our extended family, and I had plenty of friends. I have never, ever, been good at sports. I can remember in first grade choosing to play house with the girls at recess instead of kickball with the boys. I was somewhat of the gay stereotype from such an early age, yet I was never molested or harmed in any way, whereas you were. I truly believe sexual orientation to be innate, for whatever prenatal causes might be there.
Ifeelfine, that's the thing! I am currently in between churches because I have been so hurt by the Catholic church, but when I used to go to mass all the time (which was about a year ago) I never had the spirit "move me" away from homosexuality. What I felt, rather, was the spirit trying to move me away from promiscuity. I knew when I got home from a "hook up" that I felt dirty and guilty, which was the spirit telling me not to abuse myself that way. Now that I am with my partner, the love and emotional attachments we have for one another is better than any kind of sex we could have, and if we do share sexual intimacy, it feels beautiful, loving, caring, not just a rush get off and go home (I apologize if that came across as crude.)
Mike, you seem to have the spirit in you - do you feel that God is telling you homosexuality is wrong? Or, in other words, is the spirit letting you know homosexuality is wrong?
"Why would God allow Satan to corrupt me through some early life experience to make me gay, which would in tern make me end up without a partner for my entire life because to love that partner with sexual intimacy would be sinful? I think celibacy is a miserable existence, and the only people God asks that from are gays? ... How could God let Satan impact the life of a child so significantly that the rest of the child's life would have to be spent without sexual pleasure or a partner who loves them as only a life partner can? "
There are a number of reasons why this might happen.
We have at least one example of suffering occuring so the work of God can be revealed.
John 9:3b
"this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life."
James 1:2-4
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
I know in my case, both are true. God has gotten glory from my testimony. But also, suffering has matured me (not that God is finished wit me by any means). Suffering prepared me to be used by God in ways others are not able to be used. Suffering has strengthened my character. Suffering has increased my understanding. Suffering has increased my compassion. I have compassion for those I would not otherwise have compassion. I am able to communicate and minister to those I would not otherwise be able to. It is because of the suffering I have undergone that others are helped.
There are many reasons why things happen.
God allows bad things to happen to innocent because people and angels have free will. This enables us to make good and bad choices. These choices affect not only ourselves, but also others. Sometimes for what we consider to be for the good, sometimes for what we consider to be for bad. But God addresses even this:
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
While we may not be able to understand it all at any given time, God uses what is painful and what is obviously beneficial in our lives for the good of those who love Him. I have come to see this in my case. Both women I wrote of earlier have come to see this is true in their cases. Most people who try to do what God says eventually come to understand this, regardless of the level of suffering they undergo.
mike, another thing that happened in my teens was I hung out with guys who taught me how to hustle homosexuals for money and as much as I hate to admit it I did. I know there is absolutely nothing I can do to change my past and I also know that Satan does all he can to use my past to keep me ineffective in my walk with the Lord and my ability to be used of God for His glory and His work as well. Satan may be the 2nd most powerful person in the universe, but I am a child of the most powerful person in the universes, God Himself. God has helped me to make peace with my past and He has also used my past to give me a sensitivity and an empathy for people who are having the same struggles I went through myself. God has forgiven me for my past sins and even now when I sin He stands ready to not only forgive me, but cleanse me of all the unrighteousness associated with my sin if I will repent and turn back to Him. So I guess the bottomline is regardless of our past God not only is ready to forgive us but to not only use us for His glory but take something that others, specifically Satan, meant for bad and use it for good.