Sherri Shepherd has revealed that the reason she found herself embroiled in an unwanted surrogate baby scandal last year was because she was afraid of losing her ex-husband, Lamar Sally.
Four months after a Pennsylvania judge ruled Shepard the legal mother of 1-year-old Lamar Junior (L.J.), who was conceived using a donor egg and the sperm of Shepherd's ex-husband, Lamar Sally, the former "The View" co-host is sharing her side of the story.
Shepherd claims that during her two-year marriage to Sally, 44, she agreed to have a child with him via a surrogate because she feared that if she didn't, he would end their marriage.
"My situation was a sense of, I didn't state what I needed and what I wanted and what I didn't want for being scared of somebody leaving the relationship," Shepherd told People.com on Wednesday. "There are consequences to everything, but I was scared to say, 'That's not going to work for me. I don't want that.'"
Sally, who has been caring for L.J. since he was born, claimed in court documents that Shepherd agreed to have a baby with him using a surrogate and that she abruptly changed her mind when the marriage began to crumble. Shepherd, who has a 10-year-old son from her previous marriage, argued that her scriptwriter ex defrauded her into the agreement.
In April, Sally won the case and in July, Shepherd, a practicing Christian, was ordered to pay child support even though she said she wants nothing to do with the child. She was ordered to pay $4,100 per month in child support and this figure increases to $4,600 when the boy turns 13. Shepherd is appealing the ruling.
"I am appealing the ruling that happened and he gets his settlement every month," she said, referring to her ex-husband. "He's happy. There's nothing I can do. It's out of my hands. You move on and I have a son. I have to take care of him so everything is good."
The comedian plans on eventually sharing her story in a book with the hopes that her experience will help other women find the courage to find their self-confidence by letting go of fear.
"I do want to do a book for women about stepping past fear," she said. "I think it would help a lot of women who are in this place of being scared to walk away, but right now I am just laying low and letting time do its work."
Jessica Bartholomew, who is the 23-year-old waitress paid by Sally and Shepherd to be their surrogate, previously spoke out against Shepherd claiming that her abandonment of L.J. gives surrogacy a bad name.
"I don't want this to happen again to any other woman because what happened gives surrogacy a bad name and it's not a bad thing," Bartholomew told "Inside Edition." "We give families [the] gift of life. I can't wait for it to all be over."
Shepherd said that she feels completely content with her handling of the surrogacy, both physically and spiritually.
"As long as the people who know me know my heart, and they know my love for my son and my character and integrity. That's all I have to stand on," said Shepherd. "As long I can look at myself in the mirror and look up and go, 'Did I do what you told me to do?' I'm good."