My cancer taught me more about God's sovereignty than anything else
When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I was amazed at the environment of negativity and fear that seemed to permeate most medical facilities. Not to mention all the well-meaning people who offered tons of advice regarding “what I should be doing” — it was truly overwhelming.
The process of fighting cancer can be a roller coaster ride of emotions based on opinions, options, scans, MRIs, and assessments. I would get excited if the lymph node was decreasing in size and then dread the day when it felt larger.
From denial to acceptance, there are emotional stages people often walk through when they hear the word “cancer.” Acceptance doesn’t mean retreating into fear; instead, it says, “Here’s what’s going on, and here’s how I’m going to fight it.”
Sovereignty is not a formula
God’s sovereignty does not operate according to our expectations; it operates according to His foreknowledge. This is where sovereignty can become deeply uncomfortable. The point is not that God is careless or cruel. The point is that God is not predictable in the way we want Him to be. If we try to turn His sovereignty into a system that guarantees comfort, we will be crushed by disappointment. And yet, this tension does not have to lead to despair; it can lead to trust. The choice is ours.
Scripture invites us into a better posture. It teaches us to be open to God’s plan and to let go of our expectations. The core truth is worth preserving: God’s sovereignty is not a puzzle to be solved; it is a reality to be trusted.
God is not surprised
This cancer diagnosis has taught me a lot, but one lesson that stands out from the rest is that life is far more fragile than we’d care to admit to ourselves. It is easy for us to make plans and assume tomorrow will happen exactly as we had anticipated. But all it takes is one bad diagnosis or an unexpected trial to change everything. If there’s one truth I’ve taken away from this hard season, it’s this: God is never surprised. He is not pacing back and forth in Heaven worrying about what will happen next. He remains sitting on His throne, sovereign and fully in control of our lives.
If there’s one truth I hope you take away from this short article, it is that the greatest healing often takes place long before physical healing ever begins.
Don’t waste the pain
Ultimate healing starts when we surrender our full lives and our illusion of control to God. It begins when we stop trying to carry burdens we were never designed to carry on our own. When we finally say, “Lord, I trust You.”
Sometimes God is merciful, and He heals instantly. Sometimes He is merciful, and He heals gradually. Sometimes, He is merciful, and he brings healing through doctors, medications, fasting, or lifestyle changes. And sometimes He is merciful and He accomplishes a deeper spiritual healing inside the soul while the body still struggles with disease. No matter the outcome, He is merciful to us. Don’t waste the pain. Let it drive you to deeper dependence on Christ.
His sovereignty is still my sanity
My prayer for you and for me is simple. I pray that our trials will continue to strengthen our faith and cause us to love God more. If this season has taught me anything, it’s that God is still good, even in the valley of the shadow of death. He is still worthy to be praised in our time of waiting and seeking. God is still in control of writing the story even when we don’t understand it.
So, fight illness wisely. Steward physical health. Seek godly counsel. I implore you to take care of the body God gave you as His child. But above all else, seek Him. Because at the end of the day, healing is wonderful, but knowing the healer is everything. His sovereignty is still my sanity, and I pray it becomes yours, too.
We live in a fallen world. Sometimes the Lord heals. Sometimes, He allows suffering to remain. Either way, Scripture brings us back to the same confession of faith. With Job we say, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” (Job 13:15). And with the psalmist we learn to say, “Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil” (Psalm 23:4).
Shane Idleman is the founder and lead pastor of Westside Christian Fellowship in Lancaster, California, just North of Los Angeles. Shane's sermons, articles, books, and radio program can all be found at shaneidleman.com or wcfav.org. He is the author of Feasting & Fasting, If My People, Desperate for More of God, and Help! I'm Addicted. Follow him on Facebook at: facebook.com/confusedchurch. You can also follow Pastor Shane on Instagram @shaneidleman and Twitter (X) @IdlemanShane
