TikTok is not the real threat to our children

By Peter Demos, Op-ed contributor Tuesday, June 09, 2026

Every few weeks, a new headline warns parents about the dangers facing their children. From TikTok destroying attention spans, Instagram fueling anxiety, Snapchat exposing children to unhealthy influences and smartphones in bedrooms being linked to depression and isolation, the theories are there for all to see. 

Recent Pew research on what parents say about their teens' use of social media has only reinforced what many already feel: childhood is being shaped in powerful ways by apps, devices and algorithms that follow us everywhere.

Parents hear alarming statistics about pornography, online predators, influencers, and algorithms designed to keep young people glued to a screen.

Much of that concern is justified. Technology has created challenges that previous generations never faced. Today's parents are trying to raise children in a world where temptation, distraction, and misinformation are available 24 hours a day. 

In colonial times, physicians often treated the symptoms they could see rather than the disease they could not. Bloodletting or leeches would reduce the swelling, but the underlying infection remained. The symptom improved while the real problem continued to grow.

In much the same way, many parents are focusing on the symptom rather than the disease. An algorithm can only fill space that has already been left empty.

Technology did not create our children's need for identity, purpose, guidance, or truth. Those desires have always existed, and when they are not met by parents, family, faith, and community, social media is more than willing to step into the vacuum.

When a child lacks meaningful family rhythms, daily conversations about life, regular spiritual instruction, and a compelling example of Christian adulthood, the phone inevitably becomes the loudest voice in the room. The real problem is not the technology that speaks. The real problem is that too many parents have stopped speaking.

As Christians, we sometimes mistake exposure to Christian activities for actual discipleship. We assume that because our children attend church, participate in youth group, or attend a Christian school, they are being spiritually formed. Those things can be helpful, but they were never intended to replace the role of parents.

I know this from experience, because my parents made this mistake with me, and while I do not blame them for my late salvation because they did not know a better way, I can say without hesitation that modern parents need to do more.

For more than 20 years, I have led businesses and managed thousands of employees. No successful organization operates without a plan. We establish values, create systems, provide training, and reinforce expectations. We understand that culture does not happen accidentally. It develops because leaders intentionally shape it.

Yet, parents who would never operate a business without a strategy are willing to approach their children's spiritual development with little intentionality.

We plan vacations, retirement, careers, finances and even our kids’ travel ball schedules, but when it comes to the formation of our children’s hearts, we often assume things will somehow work themselves out without a plan.

Therefore, we should not be surprised when influencers, celebrities, activists and others become the dominant voices in our children's lives. The solution is not simply banning technology. (There may be times when limits are necessary and wise). The deeper answer is rebuilding the home as the primary place of formation.

That means eating meals and praying together, opening the Bible and discussing what it says, and having honest conversations about temptation, failure, relationships, and truth. It means teaching children how to work, how to serve others, how to ask forgiveness, and how to extend grace, while most importantly modeling the very life parents hope their children will one day embrace.

The next generation does not need perfect parents. Our children need moms and dads who are present, intentional, and willing to lead. If we do not fill that role, someone else will. In our age, that “someone else” often arrives through a screen.

The greatest challenge facing Christian families is not technology itself. It is whether parents will reclaim the responsibility of daily discipleship. If we do that well, the influence of TikTok becomes much smaller. If we fail to do it, no parental control app in the world will be enough.