New Book Claims First Humans Were Gay and Jesus Had Siblings

A book written from the perspective of God that offers a new, tongue-in-cheek perspective on the Bible is making the rounds this holiday season.

Written by former Daily Show head writer David Javerbaum, The Last Testament: a Memoir by God argues, among much else, that mankind was indeed created by Adam and Steve and that Adolf Hitler was a rather convincing speaker.

The book’s form is modeled after the Bible, complete with short verses and chapters with titles like “Againesis,” “Semiticus” and “Koranicles.”

“The Last Testament” is an irreverent look at Judaism, Christianity and Islam, sparing no religion, or religious leaders, any barbs.

Regarding evangelist Joel Osteen, Javerbaum (as God) reminds the reader He sees and knows everything.

"Note that I do not say he has committed homosexual acts, for that could be shown to be demonstrably true or false; I simply say, that in the secret recesses of his heart, Joel Osteen yearns for the tender touch of another man," according to Againesis, Chapter 14, Verse 20, in the book.

“The Last Testament” declares that Jesus had a sister: Kathy.

Critics say the book is best taken in small doses and with a healthy grain of salt. This book is not for the easily offended, or who find religious humor blasphemous.

Javerbaum pokes fun at the Old Testament’s tendency to indulge in long lists of names and places, claiming a passage in the King James Bible listing a family lineage was really just God coughing up phlegm.

The book references Hitler and the Holocaust, with God claiming “Hitler had ‘it.’”

Biblical figures are the source of some good-natured jokes as well. After a passage where God proclaims his love for musical theater, He references a Broadway classic.

“I love Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat; I love it far more than I loved either Joseph or his amazing Technicolor dreamcoat.”

The book hits on celebrities, religious leaders, Biblical figures, arcane Biblical passages and more – all in jest. The New York Times Book Review assures readers that some – perhaps many – will be offended by the book, but that it fulfills its promise to appeal to the religious comedy niche with dry, well-crafted humor.

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