Hillary Clinton's Says She'll Find Aliens at Area 51 If Elected President
Members of the United States' extraterrestrial community are usually silent when it comes to political races, lest they be misinterpreted as wanting to conquer the world.
However, recent remarks by Democratic presidential hopeful and assumed future president Hillary Clinton has caused much dissension among residential alien lifeforms.
Recently, Clinton declared "I'm going to get to the bottom of" Area 51 UFO claims, adding, "I think we may have been (visited already). We don't know for sure."
While some aliens felt that Clinton was showing her appeal to their unconfirmed community, others including Kaalat Xorgbosit were skeptical.
A recent immigrant from Alpha Centauri, Xorgbosit lost track of several family members when their intergalactic cruiser crashed in New Mexico last century.
"I think she's just saying that to pander," commented Xorgbosit, feeling that the fate of his missing cousins will "remain stuck at that base forever."
"I mean, while in office her husband denied that we even existed. That hurt a lot. I do not expect much different from her as I would expect from any other past presidential administration."
Cerfexpolis475636, a fusion-bio-cyborg from the Outer Rim who once took a photo of Voyager when it went past his hometown, was of a similar cerebral composition.
Speaking telepathically through a human being attached to him by cybernetic tentacles, Cerfexpolis475636 thought Hillary was only trying to curry votes.
"She. Is. Not getting. My vote," it said through a stoic human voice. "I am. Supporting. Rand Son of Ron. Stand With Rand. Stand With Rand. Stand With Rand. Over."
While oftentimes overlooked at the national level, the alien community has been integral for certain local elections in New Mexico, Arizona, New York, Mississippi, and of course, Washington D.C.
Generally low in voter turnout, the last time aliens took to the polls in large numbers was the 2000 presidential election as many tried to get one of their own in the White House.
"That election really disillusioned me," said Chameli Giryb, a Nebulan who proceeded to wipe a couple tears emanating from her five eyes.
"We were so close to getting someone who would fight for us. And his rendition of my home planet's anthem dance the Macarena? Unforgettable."
While largely ambivalent on the other candidates, many have expressed some interest in fellow alien Sen. Ted Cruz.
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