12 tips for the UNsuccessful Christian dater
Tip 8. Evaluate the qualities you are looking for in the other person.
Think seriously about the person that you could potentially spend the rest of your life with. Life is not a fairytale, and you would need someone guided by biblical principles and wisdom — someone willing to grow together in Christ throughout the relationship and who holds a shared hope in the Gospel with you.
Tip 7. Do not make early sexual advances.
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Instead of bringing you closer, this could be turning the other person further away. What went wrong, you may ask? You broke the order. Commitment comes first (marriage) before any physical interaction. Anything outside of this order is done to satisfy "passionate lust," as mentioned in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7. Read this carefully, word for word.
It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.
Tip 6. Reduce "me" and get to know the "other person" more.
If your focus is solely on "me, myself and I," you will end up with only "me, myself and I" by your side. If you are genuinely interested in the significant other, you'll find yourself asking a lot of questions about that person and prompting deeper conversations. In that process, you might discover layers of rich character and inner lasting beauty previously unknown to you. Vice versa, you'll gain insight clearly indicating that he or she is NOT the one, and that it's time to end the relationship.
Tip 5. Do not look for perfection.
You are not perfect, so don't expect others to be. When your expectations are realistic, you will not be disappointed. Keep in mind that you also are severely flawed, and that only the grace of Jesus Christ made you whole. Do you really want a perfect "significant other"? I would be more scared that this "perfect" person would criticize everything that is NOT perfect about me. So don't go for that.
We should constantly remind ourselves that God loved us even with all our flaws, and be thankful. The only area we should strive to find perfection is in Christ-like "love," as Jesus spoke of in Matthew 5:48.
