Eight Wrong Reasons for Dating a Girl

I wrote this post last week about Seven Wrong Reasons To Date A Guy–so I wanted to write this one to balance things out! :-)

#1 – "She's Hot!" – So is hell! (Ripped that off from Mark Driscoll!)

#2 – "I'm bored & lonely!" – So, because you want "entertainment" you are actually going allow yourself to play games with the heart of a woman that you are not interested in at all? Suck it up and get some friends! Go and fill your life with great work, great friends and great experiences! No woman worth having wants a dude with no life!

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#3 – "She Is So Interested In Where I Am & What I Am Doing All The Time And Contacts Me Around 10 Times A Day Just To Check In" – Congrats, you are either dating your mother or a very insecure person–neither one is going to work out for you.

#4 – "She Dresses To Attract Rather Than Dressing Attractive" – There is a HUGE difference! Women can dress attractive; however, when a girl dresses as to purposefully draw your attention to either her butt/boobs you can bet there is going to be trouble. (Check out Proverbs 7:6-23, the picture of what an ungodly woman looks like…notice what Scripture clearly says about the way she dresses in Proverbs 7:10–if she's dressed like a prostitute she has "crafty intent!")

#5 – "She Was Aggressive In Coming After Me!" – Once again, Proverbs 7:6-23 says a lot about the "ungodly woman"…but pay special attention to Proverbs 7:13-22, she came after him, kissed him first, pursued him and flattered him…and it led to a place that none of us want to be! Men, if you want to find a wife then FIND A WIFE (see Proverbs 18:22), YOU should pursue…not her!

#6 – "I Have The Opportunity" – I teach this as a leadership principle…but is applies here as well, OPPORTUNITY DOES NOT EQUAL OBLIGATION! Just because you have a chance to date someone doesn't always mean you should.

#7 – "My Friends Say That She's Perfect For Me" – Unfortunately, sometimes our friends care more about our social status than what is best for us! This is not to say that your friends cannot be a good resource for you…just make sure you are listening to God more than your friends!

#8 – "All My Friends Are Getting Married And I Am The Only Single Guy Left" – Yep. think about that…maybe you're the problem. and you know what, you can do something about it! Ask God to make you the man your future wife is praying for, and then respond in obedience when he gives you some direction. get busy living, man! Don't blame God for not providing a wife for you if you're in debt, out of shape, and undisciplined. Thank him for protecting his daughter from you! If you really love your future wife, you'll listen to her heavenly Father and build a life worth following!

(A special thanks to Shane, Lee, Brad, Cristin, Katie & Suzanne for input on this post!)

Perry Noble is the founding and senior pastor of NewSpring Church in South Carolina. The church averages 26,000 people during weekend services at multiple campuses throughout the state. Noble, his wife Lucretia and their daughter Charisse live in Anderson, South Carolina. You can read all of Perry’s unfiltered thoughts about life and leadership at

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