'I'm Ashamed to Admit I Have a Problem with Masturbation'

By Larry Tomczak, CP Op-Ed Contributor Monday, August 04, 2014

In marriage one must often forego sexual activity because of sickness, pregnancy and travel. Our daughter-in-law is currently expecting her third child so she and our son find themselves in this season. Self-controlled individuals who cultivate this character quality before marriage reap the dividends in marriage!

Obviously, another way that self-control is developed is by overcoming inevitable temptations of masturbation.

3. Christians are not to be mastered by anything--That Includes Masturbation!

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Scripture cautions us about individuals "appealing to the lustful desires of sinful human nature" promising "freedom" but bringing people into sexual bondage because "a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him" (2 Pet. 2:18-19).

We are to declare decisively and victoriously by faith: "I will not be mastered by anything!" (1Cor. 6:12).

Jesus told us, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin" (Jn. 8:34); yet right before this statement He encouraged us to continue in His word to "know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (Jn. 8:32).

Comedian Jerry Seinfeld expresses one lie regarding masturbation. "We all have to do it. It's part of our lifestyle, like shaving."

Another falsehood believed by the masses is: "I'm trapped. I can't stop. I'll never break free. God hates me and I know He'll punish me. I've done this too much and there's no way that God could ever forgive me."

Another lie: "There's nothing sinful or harmful about masturbation. It's just a natural way to relieve sexual tension and pleasure oneself."

Still another lie: "Habitual masturbation is akin to the unforgivable sin. Plus it causes deafness, blindness, epilepsy, acne, brain damage, sterility and impotence. In women it damages childbearing capability."

All of the above are biblically and/or scientifically false. Some of these myths led parents to severely beat their children if caught in the act and others told their children that God would strike them dead like Onan (Gen. 38:8-10) for playing with themselves. [Note: For centuries people mistakenly thought the "sin of Onan" was masturbation. This narcissistic man who's older brother died without fathering any children, was covenantally responsible to produce offspring but didn't want a child to get any inheritance before he did. So he practiced "coitus interruptus" and God put him to death for his callous selfishness.]

Because pastors and parents were misinformed and confused about what they perceived to be this "wicked vice," they magnified this act above all others, shamed offenders and even purchased chastity belts, aluminum mitts or handcuffs to lock their children down at bedtime!

4. Simple and Straightforward Truths About the Subject

The term "masturbation" is derived from two Latin words: manus"-hand and "turbatio"-agitation. Experimentation and stimulation like this often occurs in childhood. Allow me a slight bit of sanctified comic relief here by injecting that this is not the meaning behind Ecclesiastes 9:10. "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might..."

The term does not appear anywhere in the Bible, neither does it make any direct statement about masturbation. Because the Bible does not explicitly condone or condemn masturbation, we must look to biblical principles for guidance and avoid dogmatic pronouncements on the subject. Some believe it is always a sin; others see it as wrong because it's less than God's ideal but there may be some exceptions; there are those who view it in a neutral way as a matter of individual conscience; and, as referenced earlier, some see it as a "gift from God."

• Previously we clarified the Genesis 38:9–11 account of Onan. Other Old Testament references are Leviticus 15:16–17; Deut.23:10-11 and Lev. 22:4, which could be the result of this activity or a nocturnal emission (Natural, nighttime release of fluid while sleeping). Here God gave directions not because anything was sinful or "dirty" but for hygiene and emphasizing self-control. Similar guidance was given for women during their monthly cycle.
• In the New Testament we find a passage similar to the one previously mentioned (1 Thess. 4:3-5), also underscoring self-control (1Cor.7:1-5) plus emphasizing the marriage relationship as a practical solution and safeguard for struggling singles who "burn with passion" (v9). In our society overwhelmingly saying "Indulge yourself," God tells us "Control yourself!"
• As holy/set apart disciples of Jesus Christ told to "set before my eyes no unclean thing" (Ps. 101:3) [I have this passage on a card affixed to our television] and to never "look lustfully upon a woman" (Matt. 5:28), obviously we're to avoid sexually explicit images that fuel passions often leading to masturbation. Pornography is actually material to be read or seen with one hand, that is, as an accompaniment to solo sex.

The same goes for entertaining illicit sexual fantasies in the mind that lead to instant gratification. Therefore, aware that the "heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked…" (Jer. 17:9), let's be brutally honest: Is masturbation a holy and honorable way to glorify God, cultivate self-control and avoid sexual uncleanness?

• For individuals in unique circumstances and seasons of life, we must ask God for wisdom in righteously dealing with legitimate sexual desire. e.g. Widows or widowers reflecting on memories of their deceased spouse; living with an incapacitated mate; a husband or wife away for extended periods of time in military service, imprisonment or lengthy business/ministry trips.
• Finally, for those who ask the inevitable question, "What if I feel helpless or too often slip?" Remember we defeat temptation from a position of victory not one of trying to achieve it! Jesus Christ came to provide us not only forgiveness of sin but liberation from its power! We have the ability to sin but no longer the obligation.

Like Job, make a "covenant with your eyes (Job 31:1); "Flee evil"-don't flirt with it. If you allow Satan to get his foot in the door, he'll come in and try to destroy your whole house! Spend consistent time in the Word of God ("How can a young man keep his way pure? By living according to your Word" (Ps.119:9); grow in character and self-control through godly accountability with other like-minded Christians of the same-sex; and, affirm by faith your liberation from sin's compulsive power.

As a young man I put on my hallway mirror a scriptural statement to confess regularly. It's from Romans 6:6–7 that I personalized to build my faith and walk as an overcomer. Little by little my mind was renewed to believe this fact. "I don't have to serve sin today. I have been set free!"

If you're tired of being Satan's Pinocchio with him pulling the strings and manipulating you to walk in defeat, condemnation and uncleanness, then repent of any passivity and reject the lie that this temptation is too difficult to defeat. No Christian should ever be ashamed to admit they have a problem with masturbation. There's hope and victory in Jesus!

Claim forgiveness from our holy, yet merciful Father. Don't plan to fall but if you do immediately arise to repent and continue your journey to glorify God. There is hope and victory in Jesus!

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Cor. 10:13).