10 ways how NOT to pray

By Joseph Mattera, Op-ed Contributor Saturday, January 24, 2026

As we enter into a new year, many churches are going on extended times of fasting and prayer. Hence, it is imperative that we teach people how to pray and how not to pray since prayer is one of the most sacred privileges given to believers.

Through prayer, we commune with the creator of the universe and align ourselves with His divine will. Yet, many of our prayers go unanswered — not because God is unwilling to hear, but because we are praying in ways that contradict His principles. Jesus Himself warned that not all prayer is effective, and that even the religious can pray in vain. Below are 10 ways not to pray, drawn from Scripture and the wisdom of the Spirit.

1. Praying with many words but little faith

In Matthew 6:7, Jesus warned, “When you pray, do not use vain repetitions as the heathen do, for they think they will be heard for their many words.” The problem is not the length of prayer, but the motive behind it. Some people believe that the more they talk, the more God will listen, as if prayer were a negotiation. But God is not impressed by verbosity — He is moved by faith and sincerity.

2. Praying while harboring sin in the heart

Psalm 66:18 declares, “If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.” Likewise, Psalm 50 warns against those who recite God’s covenant while living in rebellion. Prayer loses its potency when our hearts are set on sin. God is not deaf to the cries of the repentant, but He resists the proud who cherish disobedience. Jesus even told us to leave our gift at the altar and be reconciled to our brother before we pray (Mt.5:23,24). He also admonished us to forgive before we pray (Mark 11:25). If we approach God while secretly nurturing sinful desires — bitterness, lust, or pride — our prayers become hollow. True prayer begins with repentance, not requests.

3. Speaking to God without listening back

Many believers use prayer as a monologue instead of a dialogue. We speak to God but never pause long enough to hear His response. Yet throughout Scripture, those who walked with God were listeners first — Abraham, Moses, Elijah, and even Jesus withdrew to quiet places to hear the Father’s voice. Consequently, prayer that does not make room for divine response is incomplete. God desires relationship, not routine. When we cultivate stillness before Him, His Spirit interprets our burdens, brings clarity, and often redirects our desires toward His purposes.

4. Praying against the will of God

In 1 John 5:14-15, we are told, “If we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” The key phrase is according to His will. Prayer that contradicts Scripture will always fail, no matter how passionately it is spoken. We cannot ask God to bless things that His Word forbids. For example, I have heard of people praying to marry a person who is already the spouse of another person! We also should not pray for blessings while ignoring the commands to love, serve, and walk humbly. The power of prayer is in alignment — when Heaven and earth agree, miracles happen.

5. Praying ‘if it be Thy will’ when His will is already revealed

There are times when the phrase “if it be Thy will” expresses humility and submission. But when it comes to matters God has already revealed in His Word, it becomes a statement of unbelief. i.e. We should not pray “if it be your will please save me.” Also, since both Isaiah 53:4–5 and Matthew 8:16–17 clearly show that Christ’s atonement included both physical and emotional healing, praying “Lord, if it be Your will, heal me” is to question what He already accomplished through the cross. Faith begins where the will of God is known. When Scripture has revealed His will, we should declare it with confidence, not doubt it with hesitation. (Although, we should allow the Spirit to show us if there are any reasons God would withhold healing. However, I have never seen anybody physically healed when they prayed, “if it be thy will, please heal me.”)

6. Advising God instead of trusting Him

Too often, we treat prayer like a boardroom meeting, giving God suggestions on how to solve our problems. Yet Isaiah 40:13 asks, “Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord, or as His counselor has taught Him?” God does not need our advice — He needs our surrender. Prayer should transform our will to match His, not persuade Him to accept ours.

7. Telling God stories instead of making supplications

Some believers spend their entire prayer time recounting events that God already knows. They narrate the situation, list every problem, and rehearse every offense, but never actually make a faith-filled request. Jesus said, “Your Father knows what you need before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:8). God does not need a play-by-play report of your life — He wants you to come boldly to the throne of grace with specific petitions (Hebrews 4:16). Instead of storytelling, present your needs and expectations with confidence. Prayer is not information for God; it’s transformation for you.

8. Praying in the flesh instead of in the Spirit

Romans 8:26–27 teaches that the Holy Spirit “helps us in our weakness … interceding for us according to the will of God.” Likewise, Jude 20 exhorts believers to “pray in the Holy Spirit.” This means our prayers must flow from divine inspiration, not human impulse. Prayers in the flesh can be driven by reciting long prayer lists, by mere emotion, by fear, or by ego. Prayers in the Spirit are birthed from intimacy with God and illumination. When we allow the Spirit to guide our words, He aligns our desires with the Father’s will and empowers our intercession with Heaven’s authority.

9. Merely saying prayers without seeking God

God is not looking for people who merely “say prayers”; He is looking for seekers. In Jeremiah 29:13, He promises, “You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” Prayer that is mechanical or robotic, lacks the passion that moves Heaven. To “say prayers” is religion; to “seek God” is relationship. True prayer is an encounter, not an exercise. Scripture admonishes us to earnestly seek Him (Psalms 27:4; 42:1,2; 63:1; Hebrews 11:6)

10. Using repetitive prayers that lack meaning

Jesus directly rebuked mindless repetition in Matthew 6:7. He was not condemning perseverance (Luke 18:1) but mechanical repetition — the kind of prayer that repeats words without faith or understanding. Repetition without faith becomes superstition.

Conclusion: The spirit of true prayer

At its core, prayer is not about technique — it’s about a relationship. God is not grading our eloquence; He’s responding to our sincerity. The purpose of prayer is not to manipulate Heaven but to manifest God’s heart on earth.