Want to know God’s will? Stop negotiating with Him

I remember a man telling me that he was open to God’s will as long as God didn’t lead him to a certain location or ask him to switch careers. I’ve heard others say similar things. I’m amazed at how many people move, change careers, or jump into relationships thinking that God is leading them, when, in reality, their own desires are leading them.

Be clear here: God leads those who are willing to follow. Parents understand this. Think about trying to lead a little child who willingly takes your hand compared with one who plants his feet, kicks, and refuses to move. Which one is easier to lead? If you’re not willing to follow, you’re putting your will above His, and that never works. 

A very important point to knowing God’s will and hearing His voice is to submit to His will. Granted, no one can perfectly submit, but there is a big difference between someone who wants to follow God wholeheartedly and someone who does it halfheartedly. There is a vast difference between a whole and a half.

“When the Lord makes it clear you're to follow Him in this new direction, focus fully on Him and refuse to be distracted by comparisons with others” (Charles Swindoll).

Obedience unlocks the door

Obedience to His will opens the door to God's direction and provision as well as peace. Begin with a simple prayer: “Lord, I’m willing to have You lead no matter where it takes me. Show me the next step. I will wait for You. As I step out in faith, please guide me and redirect my steps when I drift off course. Please help me understand Your will and the importance of shaping my character during the journey.” 

This type of prayer is often the catalyst that begins the process of hearing God’s voice. Whether it was the early church or us today, Christians throughout the centuries have gained direction and clarity through prayer and surrender. 

The disciples in Acts were filled with the Spirit, prayed up, and surrendered to God. The Spirit’s leading flowed out of that relationship. In the same way, as we surrender to God, fill ourselves with His Word, and spend time in prayer, His leading begins to flow out. But if we aren’t teachable or humble — if we don’t really want to do what God wants us to do — it will be difficult to discern His leading.

If warranted, also repent of past disobedience and ask for forgiveness and strength. Often, we won’t know the next step to take until we obey the last thing He told us. We pray for another confirmation, another “word,” or another sign when the breakthrough we’re looking for may simply be on the other side of obedience. “If spiritual things seem dark and hidden to me, then I can be sure that there is a point of disobedience somewhere in my life.”

We can see from Joshua’s military loss at Ai and from Abram’s relationship with his wife’s handmaid (and with countless other examples as well), that it’s best not to act before seeking God and waiting on Him. You do not use the Holy Spirit; He uses you. Waiting on Him is a Weapon of Mass Destruction against the enemy’s plans. When we wait, the enemy can’t push us into making bad decisions.

Wait to be led

Here’s a phrase worth remembering: They waited to be led. Usually, when God leads, it happens while we’re waiting, not while we’re rushing. When we rush, we tend to get ahead of God.

Psalm 130 says, “I wait for the Lord; my soul waits, and in His word I hope.” Biblical waiting isn’t passive. It’s an active, hope-filled dependence on God. We wait with the expectation that He will direct us when we need direction.

Sometimes that means getting quiet enough to listen. Think about Elijah and the still, small voice. God was not in the wind, the earthquake, or the fire. Then came that gentle whisper. Gentle whispers don’t compete well with constant noise. Sometimes we need to quiet ourselves before the Lord. Take time to pray. Fast. Wait. Give yourself enough space for the wrong impulses to settle and for God to expose what is really going on in your heart.

Empty to be filled

Willing vessels are filled vessels … filled with God’s Spirit. As I took our church through the book of Acts beginning in September 2024, I realized the importance of being led by, and filled with, the Spirit. In your walk with the Lord, you may hear of different phrases such as “filled with the Spirit,” “baptized by the Spirit,” “the unction of the Spirit,” and “the empowerment of the Spirit,” and so on. 

In most cases, they lead to the same conclusion: We must empty ourselves in order to be filled with God’s Spirit, we must humble ourselves to be led, and we must fully surrender to experience the wonderful work of the Spirit. We have as much of God as we want.  

Whatever you want to call it, the bottom line is that you need the fullness of the Spirit. You have all of the Spirit, but does He have all of you? For the Christian, the best way to be led by the Spirit is to be filled with the Spirit, and the best way to discern His will is to live surrendered to Him.

So how are we filled?

We must empty ourselves of self-will, our insistence upon getting our own way, and our determination to control the outcome. We must stop running from God and ignoring His voice. We must return to a posture of surrender: “Lord, I want what You want.”

Excerpt from my new book, The Road to Knowing God’s Will, released later this year.