When the secret abortion still hurts, look at the Samaritan woman
For many men and women, abortion is a secret carried in silence. It may be years, even decades in the past, but the memory still surfaces. A due date. A birthday. A baby shower invitation. A sermon about life.
And often, the response is the same.
Stay quiet. Keep functioning. Don’t let anyone know.
In the Gospel of John Chapter 4, we meet a woman who understands secrecy.
She came to the well at noon, the hottest part of the day, when no one else would be there. Noon was safer. Noon meant no whispers, no sideways glances, and no uncomfortable conversations. She was managing her shame.
After abortion, many women live at “noon.” We work, raise families, attend church, and smile in photos, all while we carry something heavy inside.
But Scripture tells us something intentional: Jesus “had to go” through Samaria.
He didn’t stumble into that encounter. He went on purpose and sat at the well and waited for her.
He began with kindness. He offered living water. And then, He named her story: “You have had five husbands.”
He didn’t expose her to humiliate her. He didn’t condemn her. He brought truth into the light so she could be free. That is what real healing looks like.
Because the Bible is clear in Romans 3:23: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”
All.
Every single person with or without abortion stands guilty before a holy God. Abortion is not the only sin. But it is a real one. And like every other sin, it required a Savior. And the very next verse tells us we are “justified freely by His grace.”
Freely. A gift.
When Jesus said, “It is finished,” the payment was complete. That is why the Gospel of John 8:36 says: “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”
Free indeed.
Not partly free. Not free after years of self-punishment. Free because of Him.
And yet so many who have experienced abortion say, “I know God forgave me, I just can’t forgive myself.”
But forgiveness was never ours to manufacture. The cross secured it. When we hold ourselves under lifelong condemnation, we live as though Jesus’ payment was incomplete. But it was not incomplete. It was finished.
Abortion recovery helps men and women understand this deeply. It separates repentance from self-punishment. It allows space for grief while anchoring identity in Christ. It walks through truth without condemnation. It teaches what it means to receive grace rather than to strive for it.
And here is the part that moves me most about the woman at the well:
After Jesus freed her, meeting her in truth and mercy, she ran back into town.
The woman who came alone. The woman who avoided everyone. The woman living at noon. She became the messenger: “Come, see a man who told me everything I ever did.”
She didn’t say, “Come see how strong I am.” She didn’t say, “Come see how I fixed myself.” She pointed to Him.
Shame made her hide. Grace made her bold. That is what abortion recovery is meant to become. Not a lifetime of secrecy. Not a permanent label. Not a hidden wound.
But a testimony.
When Jesus meets us in our abortion regret, when He frees us, when He replaces condemnation with mercy, we are no longer defined by what we did. We are defined by what He did.
And instead of whispering our story in fear, we can say: “Come see what Jesus has done for me.”
It’s not about elevating our sin; it’s about magnifying His mercy. It’s not about reliving shame; it’s about declaring freedom.
At our ministry, She Found His Grace, we see this happen over and over. Women and men who once thought they were alone discover healing in Scripture-centered community. They grieve. They repent. They receive forgiveness. And then just like the woman at the well, many begin helping others.
Because when you know what it feels like to live at noon, you recognize it in someone else.
April (Abortion Recovery Month) exists because so many people still don’t know help is available. They assume the Church doesn’t talk about this. They assume they are the only ones. They assume silence is safer. But healing is available, forgiveness is complete, and the Son truly sets free.
If you are living at noon, you do not have to stay there. Jesus is still meeting people at wells.
And when He sets you free, you will not only experience His mercy, you may become the very person who tells someone else where to find it.
His love is real, His mercy is sufficient, and His grace still rewrites stories.
Serena Dyksen was raped at 13 and taken to get an abortion. She is now a speaker and writer, fighting for the voiceless. You can follow her on Twitter: @SDyksen.
