Ask Mom, Ask Dad: What if School Popularity Comes at Expense of Moral Ethics?

Introducing "Mom Says/Dad Says," an exclusive Christian parental advice column by Gregory Slayton, former U.S. Ambassador to Bermuda and author of the best-selling book Be a Better Dad Today: Ten Tools Every Father Needs, and his wife, Marina Slayton, author of the new book Be The Best Mom You Can Be. The Slaytons have been featured on Fox and Friends, Focus on the Family Radio and numerous other media outlets. They donate 100% of their royalties from parenting books to fatherhood and family non-profits.

Marina and Gregory Slayton.
Marina and Gregory Slayton. | (Photo: Courtesy Thomas Nelson)

Senators John McCain and Joe Lieberman, Governors Jeb Bush and Sam Brownback and Pastors Tim Keller and Luis Palau, among others, have endorsed the Slaytons. In their exclusive series for The Christian Post, both Marina and Gregory will answer thoughtful Christian parents seeking to raise their children up in the goodness of the Gospel and the Glory of God. If you would like to have Marina and Gregory answer your questions, please contact them via

Parent's Question: Our daughter works very hard to be popular in school, perhaps too hard. We are worried that she is compromising her moral ethics to be part of the "in" crowd. How can we communicate to her that compromising her integrity is never a good thing. What do you suggest?

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Mom says: Being popular in school has always been an issue. Being human means building community where we are and that is how it should be. There is nothing innately wrong in wanting to be liked and in the mix. Parents should not sit in judgment of their children wanting to be popular. They are just being normal human beings.The problems set in when they start compromising core values and principles when the crowd we mix in start to go down a wrong path, because the Truth is "bad company trumps good morals." 1st Cor. 15:33

With our own four children, I have found that the two-prong approach is best. Firstly, parents need to raise children with admiration and confidence in our faith. What do I mean by admiration? Haven't you noticed that in the modern era it is OK to be anything but a Christian? Tolerance is currently worshipped as the greatest good –ironic since there is a growing intolerance to Christianity. Our kids want to be seen as "cool' and they want to belong to the "in" crowd, so all too often they push aside their faith as something to be embarrassed about. That can weaken their core values and the moral compass which comes with the Christian faith.

So make sure your children know the faith's history – universal literacy, for example, came as a result of Christians wanting everyone to read the Bible. In order to do so, having the skills to read was mandatory. Mandatory not just for male nobles, but women and serfs and everyone. Literacy exploded and it was through a knowledge-based economy that political, social and economic equality could emerge. Democracy is based on a literate society, which is based on the Christian push for universal literacy. That is something to be proud of!

So if you don't know the history of our faith, start on a journey of learning with your children right now. All too often history is being re-written to make Christianity something to be embarrassed about. Study with your children all the reasons they should be proud of the faith and not ashamed to be called a Christian. The knowledge of who they are and what they believe will serve as a moral anchor in their lives.

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