Duck Dynasty's Robertson family and famed comedian and atheist Bill Maher are both vying to become the new owners of The Christian Post. Both sides agree that a decision will be made by the end of today.
"Basically, what we have is a choice between an atheist and a bunch of rednecks, so, you know, it's a tough call," Will Anderson, CEO of CP tells CP.
Maher told CP he was excited about the possibility, noting that CP already has the best coverage of atheist groups in the United States. If he wins the bid, Maher suggested he would make a few changes to CP.
"CP would remain as it is now," he assured, "well ... except I would get rid of all that Jesus stuff."
Willie Robertson informed CP that no one in his family has ever run a newspaper before, but he is "fairly certain it would not be more difficult than making a duck call."
Trilateral negotiations between CP, Maher and the Robertsons stalled when the parties had difficulty deciding who CP readers would prefer as the new owner. Both suitors agreed to allow CP to announce a survey of its Twitter and Facebook followers.
Please tweet or state your preference on Facebook using either the hashtag #DuckPost if you would prefer the Robertson family, or #PostChristianPost if you would prefer Maher. Votes will be tallied and the results will be announced after 5 p.m. today, April 1.
CP employees had mixed reactions to the news.
"I've always wanted to wear camouflage to work, and if the Robertsons win, I'll get to do that every day!" CP blog editor Stephanie Samuel said with glee.
"I hope it's Maher, that guy is hilarious," exclaimed political analyst Napp Nazworth, who also noted that his primary sources of news are Comedy Central and The Onion.
Other employees were more ambivalent.
"It doesn't matter to me," reporter Morgan Lee said, "as long as I get to write the story every time Pope Francis says the F-word."
Reporter and editor Alex Murashko, who resides in Southern California, simply said, "Dude, whatever," as he made the "hang loose" sign with his right hand.