It wasn't that I didn't want to have her over. Then again, it wasn't that I did. Generally speaking, I couldn't make up my mind and that was the problem. I was indecisive.
Going a level deeper (there's almost always something deeper) the reality was. . . I'd been to her house. Everything was laid in perfect order — no crumbs on the floor, stains on her couch or picture frames off-center. Her house was perfection, every corner Pinterest-able.
Mine? Mine was laundry on the floors, toys spread all over the family room and crumbs under the counter cupboards. Mine was marker stains on the kitchen table and a mini-trampoline in the center of the living room.
She looked so good.
I looked so bad.
On face-level I look good too. Outside my house, I dress stylish. But inside- that's what might scare her away, make her feel uncomfortable or worst yet, make me look bad.
So, while I wish I could tell you Ms. High and Mighty Blogger Gal Kelly Balarie kept our date, I canceled our little get-together. She gave me a little leeway to cancel, and I took it and ran....
And now, to top this all off, I just invited eight gals to my house in a couple of weeks. My mind can't stop thinking of what:
– comfy chairs I need to buy
– new patio furniture I need to get
– flowers need to adorn my home
– scents need to hit them as they walk in
But then, I consider this. What if my imperfection isn't all bad?
What if my imperfection gives way to theirs? What if my lack of everything somehow welcomes them in a small, unsaid way to share their lack? Their lack of hope in their marriage? Their lack of will to stay close to God? Their lack of understanding of what their future holds?
What if imperfection is the open door to invite Jesus in? Jesus always walked into the space and place of vulnerability. Those who fell on their knees, cried out, felt less than, hopeless, broken...for these people, Jesus showed up, with power.
Won't He do that for me too?
So why do I try to shun that away? Why do I slam the door on the one opening God may use to truly, deeply and powerfully reach others?
I can't help but think it is not perfect, clean and shiny houses that bring people near, but real and authentic houses that really draw people in. It stops them.
Our real truth.
Our real story.
Our details of need.
Our belief that God will show up there.
Our hope in something greater than material items.
Our will to just be with people rather than putting on a show.
Our desire to see something more meaningful than facades.
Jesus never ran from what was askew. He welcomed it.
Kelly Balarie is a popular writer and speaker. You can follow her at PurposefulFaith.com