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Spiritual leadership in marriage


What does it mean to be a spiritual leader? In my mind, a spiritual leader is not someone who tells me how to act, how to believe, and how to live my life; it is someone who lovingly guides me toward goals I have to be a better person and better child of God.

A good spiritual leader puts his faith at the top of the priority list. While you don’t need to be a pastor or an expert in spirituality, there should always be a certain level of importance for Jesus to be in your life.

While many married couples are intimidated by leading each other in faith and life, it starts by realizing that you are two parts of the same team. Marriage is a partnership and a crucial part of a successful life together with Christ according to Hebrews 10:24, which says, “let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.”

As husbands, it is our duty to lead our wives and portray the Gospel in our marriages.

He should lead in prayer

While this seems like an obvious point, I think it’s also one of the most neglected aspects of a marriage. By all means, take time to pray on your own for your own needs, but it’s also important to pray with your wife. Whether you’re going through difficulties or you want to give praise to the Lord for your life together, find a block of time every day to give yourselves to God, together.

But being a spiritual leader through prayer doesn’t end there. Praying FOR your wife is just as important as praying WITH her. Ask the Lord to touch your loved one’s life and to answer any prayers she may have.

“Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” – James 5:16

He should lead in sacrifice

Shortly before my wife and I got married, I asked my dad what has made his and my mom’s marriage successful. He told me, “I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make her happy.” Ever since then, those three words made up the most important phrase of my life:  Whatever it takes.

Giving up your interests for the interests of others is one of the best ways to lead your wife in love and spirit. It shows that her needs and feelings outweigh your own and breathes new life into your relationship. It could look like giving up your own time to do something with her or for her.

Jesus became the perfect model of sacrifice for us after He gave His life for us. Of course, I’m not saying you need to do something that drastic for your loved one, but we are called to walk in the way of love and give ourselves for Him and others.

“And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”  Hebrews 13:16

He should lead in love

Imitating Christ doesn’t have to sound intimidating and impossible. It simply means being in tune with your wife’s spiritual needs by providing praise, support, and love. Ephesians 5:25-33 is the model of how to love your wife, doing so “just as Christ loved the Church.” To lead in love means to love your spouse with your whole heart and to demonstrate the Lord’s love.

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Jacob Putzer works as social media coordinator at Christian Care Ministry/Medi-Share. He recently relocated to Florida after graduating from the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh with degrees in both Marketing and Economics and is currently working on attaining his MBA from Florida International University. In his free time, you can find Jacob with his wife at the Disney World, Sea World or Universal theme parks, on the golf course, or playing music.

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