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Dying to Meet Him: More Seizures and Feeling Like the Good Grinch

Dying to Meet Him: More Seizures and Feeling Like the Good Grinch

Gabrielle "Elle" Devenish, a 30-year-old single Christian woman, was told by doctors that she has 6 months to a year to live.

"My heart, lungs, bones and muscles have all deteriorated beyond repair, according to doctors. My white blood cell count continues to match that of a last-stage chemo patient and my electrolytes are always on the edge."

For Elle's full Bio, click here.

Up Down, Round and Round, And Still Looking to Him From My Knees, on the Ground
Written March 10, 2012

The past few weeks have been fraught with more signs and symptoms of declining health, plus a few seizures. Some of the worst losses are my motor skills, my ability to read and write and problems actually focusing (lots of blurred vision, or feeling like my eyes are rapidly moving back and forth and I can't make it stop).

That is why my entries are becoming few and far between. I don't even know if maybe this will be the last.

For a Type A, perfectionist, in control personality, it has lately become like I'm a totally different person. I care less and less for the things of this world and more and more for the salvation of friends and family. I feel like the Grinch (cartoon version) "whose heart grew three sizes that day." That's not to say I have given up my super control of what goes into my mouth. (Which by the way, has been mainly liquids now, since my stomach rejects solid food). I'll spare my readers the details.

I sleep A LOT. A LOT. Every time I lie down to sleep, I pray God will take me to be with Him then, finally ending the sorrow, pain, anguish and exhaustion. It's too much for one human – God also gets me through the days, I HAVE to acknowledge this. But I pray my last breath is only getting closer.

I'm excited for heaven. What will it really be like? Our bodies will be perfect – what will that look like? Will I recognize those who have died before me? And will I even remember these questions or anything else in light of His Lovely Face?

I must end this entry now as I cannot get my eyes to focus. I don't know if this is my last entry; in all honesty I hope it is. I pray that tomorrow I will be worshiping in His very presence, at the physical feet of Jesus.

We do not know what the day may bring forth, but I am prepared!

Support Elle Devenish here

Check back with CP soon for more updates on Elle's condition in "Dying to Meet Him."

Gabrielle “Elle” Devenish is a Christian Post reporter in Utah.


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