Ex-LGBT Christians gather at Calif. state Capitol to protest gov't censorship, offer hope

A group of Christians who have repented of homosexual or transgender behavior gathered at the California state Capitol in Sacramento last Thursday to speak out against cultural and government resistance toward those who desire to leave the LGBT lifestyle.

“I hope that this event accomplishes a pushback against the belief that people don't change,” Elizabeth Woning, an organizer of the event who serves as executive director of advocacy and government affairs for CHANGED Movement, told The Christian Post.

CHANGED, in partnership with the California Family Council, held a two-day “Speak Out” event last Wednesday and Thursday that culminated with Christians offering short testimonies on the state Capitol steps about how they believe God led them out of the LGBT identity.

Several of the speakers grew emotional as they described how their sinful responses to pain only deepened their suffering, leading them into a self-destructive downward spiral until they turned to God.

All of them pushed back against the prevailing culture’s suggestion that healing from such pain is impossible.

Resisting censorship

Woning, who left lesbianism and now has a husband, is the co-founder of CHANGED, which she established in 2018 with (function(w,q){w[q]=w[q]||[];w[q].push(["_mgc.load"])})(window,"_mgq");

“As I followed Him, the things that felt concrete, the things that I thought would never change, began to shift,” he said. “And as the Lord showed me that I could actually walk in purity, that I could follow Him in the ways that He's asked of me, the things that were concrete, the things that I said would never change, shifted.”

Santos said he is now living “a life that is overflowing with joy and peace.”

“I'll never go back, only forward,” he added. “I'm so thankful.”

‘Torn between two worlds’

Cecil Jackman, who was the last at the Thursday rally to offer his testimony, epitomized much of what the other speakers had to say by recounting the pain of those who come to realize their faith and sexual attractions are incompatible.

He claimed his confusion started when his female babysitter sexually abused him when he was 4 years old.

“My innocence taken,” he said, choking up. “That shouldn’t have happened.”

Jackman said he convinced himself at the time that he had been molested because he was a boy, which consumed him with a desire to be a girl to escape further abuse. Though his mother was a Christian, he said his father physically and verbally abused him, mocking him as gay when he was young because he enjoyed picking flowers with his mother.

Though he outgrew his desire to be a girl, Jackman continued to suffer growing up because he was not athletic and struggled to relate to other boys, according to his written testimony. Amid his confusion in middle school, a male teacher molested him.

Following a suicide attempt, Jackman said he reached a crisis point that pushed him to pray for God’s help, and he ultimately understood he was unable to reconcile his sexual feelings with God’s commands.

“I was torn between two worlds,” he said. “I loved Jesus, but I was attracted to guys.”

Jackman’s despair drove him to believe that God had created him simply to take pleasure in his damnation.

“Because of my ‘dad wounds,’ I was so convinced God hated me,” he remembered. “I would call him ‘the big mean bully in the sky.’ I would tell my gay friends God made me just to send me to Hell someday.”

Jackman, who now has a wife and three children, said he came to realize he was believing a lie, and that far from desiring to condemn him, the Lord loved him enough to take all of his shame upon Himself, quoting Hebrews 12:2.

“I began to realize that God did love me,” he said. “When I learned I could trust God, my healing sped up dramatically.”

‘I wouldn’t trade it’

CHANGED co-founder Ken Williams told CP his pain growing up was significant enough that he wanted to take his own life when he was 17, but that years-long therapy with a Christian counselor helped him work through it.

When he first started seeing his counselor as a teenager, Williams said he was ridden with self-pity and questioned why God would allow him to suffer so deeply.

He said the mindset he once nursed has since dissipated.

“A lot of my thinking was, ‘Why me?’ Poor me victim mentality. ‘Why do I have to deal with the worst of the problems?’ I haven’t thought that in 15, 20 years. And it's so rewarding to now be able to hopefully have a mouthpiece that offers hope to people out there who feel like I did.”

He emphasized that the type of therapy he received as a minor is now illegal in California.

“In those days, it was legal for me to get help that aligned with my faith convictions,” he said. “After getting that kind of help, some amazing Christian people just loved me very consistently, and I came out of that.”

Williams said he also has come to embrace his suffering, realizing that God used it to draw him to Himself in an unavoidable way.

“If you want to get somebody’s attention, grab them by their sexuality,” he said. “When you're struggling with that — whether you're a male or a female — I don't know how you could struggle any deeper than that. So God got my attention deeply, He met me deeply and has walked with me closely.”

“So I wouldn't change my life at all. I'm grateful for what the Lord's done,” he added. “I wouldn't trade it.”

Regarding what he might say to someone suffering from despair regarding sexual or gender confusion, he said, “I would give him a hug and tell him, ‘Hey, this is just one day in your life, and there's a whole other life ahead for you if you want it. Jesus offers new life to people.’”