Grammy Award-winning singer Kelly Rowland revealed the moment during her time with Destiny's Child that she knew God made her for a much bigger purpose than accolades.
Her testimony was recently featured on Hillsong channel’s new TV show "Now With Natalie," a six-part series in which wardrobe stylist Natalie Manuel Lee sits down with Christian celebrities who share about their faith, what they wrestle with and their purpose in life.
While pop culture icons are often “immortalized through accolades, awards and the devoted attention of fans” but Rowland explains that life is much more than that.
The singer said it was at Israel Baptist Church in Atlanta, Georgia, where she first knew singing was what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Rowland joined the choir and sang her first solo at age five.
“As a kid, I just wanted to sing and I wanted to make my dream come true,” Rowland told Lee during a sit-down interview for the Christian channel.
In the episode, Rowland spoke of the time she was on tour in Europe with the internationally acclaimed girl group Destiny’s Child and they sang their rendition of “The Lord’s Prayer.” She witnessed the impact it had on little kids who were crying at the foot of the stage and it shifted her focus.
“We felt such a great responsibility. I felt like this is really what we are here for,” she explained. “You give people purpose through song but then when you're able to see them in a show and you see their lives are touched by things that you say, or something you're singing and it’s your personal faith and you’re able to share that with fans, that’s kind of remarkable.”
“That’s when you feel like you're at the right place at the right time. I know that what He has me here for is bigger than the records and awards and everything else."
Rowland, a founding member of Destiny’s Child, has had No. 1 hits and multiple Grammy awards but Rowland said all of it is fleeting.
“You have people that want to be your friend, people that probably want to use you… It's such a rush. It's so many things going on at one time. Destiny’s Child days was like a blur to me because it was so many things happening at one time,” she admitted due to her hectic schedule.
The singer opened up about a time in her life where she experienced darkness because she was identifying herself with fame.
“I think that for me if it wasn't No. 1, I would probably be really hard on myself,” Rowland shared. “It was probably a time where I just was really tired of the crappy part of the industry, the moments where you feel like you're there by yourself, when the No. 1's aren't there and you’re just left with your own person.”
She admitted that transition is not a very comfortable part of life either as she commented on the period in which the three members of Destiny's Child moved on to solo careers.
Saying her own transition took years, she said, “I was constantly wondering why am I here. I would always ask God, ‘Why do I have to go through this part and why is it so painful, why is it so stressful and why can’t I sleep at night and why is there a lack of peace and why is there one thing coming after another?’”
“I was in a really dark spot. I didn't like the place where I was ... It just felt like for a second I was going to drown.”
She noted that faith played a “huge role” in that season.
“In the moment where I thought that I was just going to not make it, I would hear a song, get the perfect word for someone or just feel something so strongly in my head, in my heart and I knew that it was bigger than me. When I understood that, I said, ‘Fine God, here we go,’” she attested. “He would show me different people and different ways and I would experience the most random things and I felt like He was there every step of the way with me."
Ultimately, the performer noted, “What all this time has taught me is how you have to be appreciative for every moment.”
When asked what she wanted her legacy to be, Rowland said she wanted “to be known as a woman with a good heart. I want to make my children proud and I want to be remembered as the virtuous woman.”
Episode two of “Now With Natalie” also featured testimonies from producer Josiah Bell and aspiring actor Caleb Pierce.
Lee, who's a member of Hillsong Church and sister of popular fashion and sneaker designer Jerry Lorenzo, promoted the series at the top of the year on her Instagram account in a video that explained the premise behind the program.
“The purpose of this show is to nullify, dismantle, and pull back the veil to the counterfeits of identity and purpose being sold and consumed through popular culture,” Lee wrote.
“Our worth and value is not in things or our job title," said Lee. "It’s in who we are at our core. We are redeemed. We are accepted. We are complete in Christ. We are chosen. We are more than ENOUGH. We are FREE in Him. That’s OUR IDENTITY.
"As a generation, we tend to focus on ‘these things’ and ‘accolades’ that we miss why we are here. We glorify the POSITION more than the PURPOSE of the position."
For more information on “Now With Natalie,” visit the Hillsong Channel.