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10 reasons many of us struggle praying with our spouses each day

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Unsplash/Samantha Gades

Some years ago, I wrote a post entitled, “Why Spouses Should Pray Together Each Day.” I still believe it’s important that we make this commitment. I’ve realized since then, though, that the struggle to take this step is still a real one for many of us. Here’s why:

1. We don’t pray much in general. Prayer is a struggle for many of us. When that’s the case, it’s not likely we’ll pray with our spouses, either.  

2. Our marriages aren’t really built on the foundation of God. We might attend church together, and others think of us as a strong Christian family—but faith is not the bedrock of our home.

3. Our spouses know best when we’re not really walking with God. They know when our prayers don’t come from a pure, obedient heart—so we don’t pray with them at all.

4. We convince ourselves we can’t find the time to pray each day. That may be the case if our goal is to pray together for hours, but that’s not my thinking. I want us to start somewhere, even if the prayers are short and sweet.

5. We’re uncomfortable praying in front of others. For some, that includes praying in front of our spouse when it’s just the two of us in the room.

6. We don’t like the level of spiritual intimacy prayer requires. The intimacy of praying together is, in some ways, the deepest intimacy we can experience—and that makes us anxious.

7. Often, our spouse’s level of commitment to Christ far exceeds ours. If we’re honest, we’re intimidated to pray when that’s the situation.

8. We’ve tried it before, and it didn’t work then. So, we’ve now given up on trying, even though both of us may have grown since then.

9. We count our prayer of grace over a meal as sufficient. Yes, that’s often with our spouse, but I’m talking about something more intentional here. I’m talking about genuinely seeking God together.

10. No one’s ever challenged us to pray with our spouse daily. That’s my challenge to you today via this post. And to me. 

What would you add to this list?


Originally published in Church Answers

Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. A conference speaker and author or co-author of more than ten books, including Spiritual Warfare: Biblical Truth for Victory, Discipled Warriors, Putting on the Armor, Mentor, and Spiritual Warfare in the Storyline of Scripture, Dr. Lawless has a strong interest in discipleship and mentoring. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.

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